I've never heard of this until recently. My friend had a profile on Match. com and met a man that took her out to expensive restaurants, regularly sent her flowers, bought her nice gifts, helped her with her rent, was always there for her, etc. He took her on a parachute ride and proposed to her in mid-air. She accepted and got married within the month. She said she saw him with "rose-tinted glasses" and now is now angry with him for doing this.
What's so wrong with being "love bombed?" I think it would be nice.
When people refer to being love bombed it is negative because they are describing someone who love bombed you in the beginning to get you hooked and then switching to a person that constantly criticizes you and belittles you. There are some people that do this and that is why it is important to not get serious or married right away. It can be traumatic because it can be like you fell in love with a false ideal relationship.
3
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
My friend has been married to him for 15-years and he is now asking for a divorce. She claims he is an alcoholic and a narcissist. In that type of relationship, do you believe he criticized and belittled her for the whole 15-years? Or does it happen towards the end of the marriage?
It’s hard to say because I don’t know their relationship and a lot of the time people call someone a narcissist when they aren’t one at all as well as completely make things up about their ex. If he is truly an alcoholic than the symptoms of being an addict can be the same symptoms of being a narcissist but it doesn’t mean the addict is necessarily a narcissist. If he truly is an alcoholic his behavior could have gotten worse as his addiction worsened.
Love bombing is when you do all of these romantic gestures when it’s too soon.. (from what I’ve learned) it’s abusive because usually those people display narcissistic behavior.
2
8 Reply
Asker
+1 y
As it turns out her husband is an alcoholic. She is college educated and smart. What do you think of a woman who allows herself to be "love bombed?" Are they innocent in this relationship? Do these women tend to be codependent?
She is a victim, but when it comes down to it, she chose to continue the relationship. Yes they tend to be codependent and they have unhealed trauma, low self worth, they don’t love themselves. It’s a mix of many things to be honest. This is why I always tell people to get therapy, even when they feel like they’re fine. It helps a lot.
Yes that makes a lot of sense.. She has picked up some toxic behavior and traits from those around her, more than likely the ones who hurt her… It’s always easier to pretend or fake things, than it is to be honest with ourselves and admit that we’re broken.. She blames him, but it’s a reflection of what she feels about herself.. Yes she’s trying to say it’s his fault, but she really feels like the abuse was her fault. More than likely, someone either didn’t believe her or they blamed her for what happened to her.. It hurts my heart to read what you wrote. I really hope she gets therapy for her pain, it will give her a safe space and allow her to release a lot of what she’s holding inside.
She will also learn some coping skills, and she will learn how to better manage her emotions and express herself. She needs to be okay with what happened and know that it’s not her fault.
She told me she has some codependent traits. But when I knew her I always thought she was narcissistic. Everything was about her. She used people. If it wasn't about her she would lose interest. Can a person be both codependent and narcissistic?
The thing about narcissistic people is they CRAVE attention, it’s like they’ll die without it.. That’s what makes it mimic codependent people. (That’s what I personally believe) They starve when you ignore them. They are users and they abuse people. But also, keep in mind, people who play others to get what they want, can also be another disorder. It’s very scary how intense and deep it can get. The mind can be a scary thing especially when you don’t know what you’re dealing with.. trauma can take it so many different directions.
People have tried but I see through it too easily anymore. When someone for instance starts trying to rush things, starts sharing too much information too fast, seems to be copying what I’m doing as well as saying then trying to play me, as well as how they treat other people.
If someone’s sweet and bubbly when they’re around me. But other times they’re cold and sometimes even just rude people. Then I assume they’re pretending to be someone they’re not. Obviously I would expect a change with someone attracted verses someone who isn’t but if it’s a major shift. Then I think there masking
Yep. It’s awful when things turn out to be the opposite of who they once were.
1
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
In this case, they were married for 15-years and now he is asking for a divorce. I don't know when it turns out he wasn't the person who he once was though. She is a house wife and supported him in his career. No children. Since he is a wealthy man I'm assuming she will get half of his income? I don't know.
What's wrong with being love bombed lolz. Imagine being cheated on and it didn't work out her and that guy (because he was playing her and like 4 other girls at the same time) and then she starts love bombing because you're fed up with her bullshit and want to leave. Literally rapey with wanting to suck you off, saying everything she thinks you want to hear, etc.
Now that's just a single personal example of why being love bombed is hoarse shit. The term "love bombed" is usually in regards to people that are basically psychopaths though and it's about control. Narcisistic personality disorder is usually called out during it. It's controll... send flowers to her work so she feels the pressure from her workmates to go out with you... purpose marriage in front of her friends and family to use social pressure to move her to say yes. Obviously, it can be worse than those examples and get down into emotional manipulations and not just social.
So what's so bad about being love-bombed? Well imagine not wanting that and you're just dealing with it being done to you. Imagine asking for it to stop and it just gets worse. Imagine it's coming from a 5'3" bald dude that doesn't have a job and he's overweight, but the pressure is real and the people around you start thinking you should give him a chance because he's trying so hard... You sure that shit is awesome?
Yes I've been lovebombed and it's worse than not even having someone that loves you. It's worse because everything is a LIE, there is no future with them and you've wasted years for nothing. That's dedication, effort and years you'll never get back.
They promised you the moon and the stars but will never settle down with you. They never wanted a family with you. Everything was pure garbage. It makes you feel empty. Then they start devaluating you and discarding you as if you were nothing, keeping you as friend only if they need you (to talk about how bad things are going with their new relationship), make you believe they're come back to you but it's a lie again. They're a narcissist and even sociopaths. I hate those people more than the jerks that tell you straight forward they never want kids. At least they told you and never strung you along for years.
1
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
She has been married to him for 15-years and now he is asking for a divorce. She claims he is addicted to alcohol and is a narcissist. But she accepted all of his gifts and when he proposed she accepted. Why didn't she say no to all of his gifts?
Then that wouldn't make her so innocent. She was getting married for what he provided. That makes her somewhat a gold digger; that's the reason she didn't say no.
Yep, I've been love bombed before, not to the extent of marriage but I've had similar experience to what you described. Love bombing is often a trait of "avoidants" and is an enormous red flag to look out for. The reason being that people who show you extremely intense interest and affection very early on in getting to know you will later on lose that interest and drop you just as quickly as they came into your life. Avoidant types often do this and they are an enormous population of people who also ghost, so watch out.
We all can get caught off guard from time to time by people we think we're really hitting it off with, and we don't pay attention to details that will tell us a great deal about them because we're blinded by this blissful person or experience. That's why it's important that we take things slow and not let our emotions fool us with how we may be dazzled by someone.
Well first off your friend is dumb for saying yes to a proposal after a month and the guy that proposed to her was dumber for rushing to propose with out even really getting to know her, He was mainly thinking with his Dick and she was thinking Money , typical women lol so 2 dummies together make Dumb And Dumber , It takes a relationship awhile to really Get to know someone and to see if you both are in it for the long haul so marrying someone after a month is just plain out dumb
LOL it’s sad but true , it’s like come on now , I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I like to think I have common sense when it comes to shit like that , No wonder Divorce rates are so high nowadays it’s dumb people like this that get Married after being with someone after a month
Seems like she enjoyed the super studness. Why the sudden change? Magic is gone? Failed relationship goes both ways, but i see here she's chosing to blame him for "misleading" her. Seems he threw himself out there to attract her and she either didn't observe the red flags or chose not to care.
It’s part of the cycle of abuse and you most definitely don’t want it happening to you. That’s how you get stuck in abusive ass relationships
2
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
From what I'm reading, there is a lot of abuse in relationships and they aren't "love bombed." Can't a person be "love bombed" without being manipulated or abused?
In a manner of speaking I have. Not with such lavish gifts, but with attention and affection. We even discussed marriage and kids during this courting period. You're correct, about it being nice 🙂
For fucking sure. Narcissist live for this, then rip it all away with no remorse. It’s hard to tell if their feelings are genuine, but ultimately, money can’t buy love.
I mean I have guys do stuff like that for me but I don't accept marriage proposals lol
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
bruh, she’s kinda dumb. I would never marry someone I’ve only known for a month, that’s how you get hurt. personally, when I meet someone who does way too much too early, I get turned off and stop seeing them
Well it's not like he is a player or just using her for sex, he married her for fucks sake. What is she mad about? She's the one who said yes. She should be angry with herself haha
She is a fool. If she takes an important decision of marriage just coz of being fine dined, gifted and parachuted, she is not mature enough gor the other aspects of a relationship
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Your friend is an idiot and a gold digger. She married a man after 30 days of dating because he spend money on her. She deserves her fate.
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions