Is it good, bad or neutral that I really feel the need to give up on men and relationships?

[Anonymous]

Relationships have only been headaches, pain, anxiety, stress, resentment and all of that for me my whole life since I had my first one. I’m just so over it and I can’t deal with anymore.

[OpenClose]

Naw I feel similarly. I feel like relationships have become notoriously hard to start for our generation. And in several of my relationships, a breakup felt like less of a loss and more of a breath of fresh air. Like, no more drama. I get to decorate the place how *I* want it. I don't feel pressured to "be a man". etc.

Mind you, most of my relationships, while short-lived, actually haven't had a lot of this. But I also don't like being expected to be the one to walk across the room and make my feelings known. Like, a woman's first impression of a man is skeptical at best, but hostile at worst. Like, how are you supposed to present yourself when you feel like your interest is already an intrusion? And then it turns into a bit of resentment that you know SHE doesn't have to go through the same thing. So it's all just... drama.

I haven't given up on relationships, but I'm definitely quite picky now. She has to already seem quite receptive or I just don't bother. I don't need the negativity of some chick being like "what makes you think you've earned MY attention? Prove yourself." I don't have to prove shit to you.

So my latest relationships started either from friends, or I dated my brother's ex who was pretty clearly into me. Or one girl I knew from High School. We didn't really "know" each other, but we recognized each other so we still said hi. We ended up getting into a conversation about chimp vs bonobo behavior and it took off... until she moved to Brazil.

[Asker]

I’m sorry. All of mine were short lived too. It is super difficult, and I hate this generation. It’s not for me and it makes me think it probably would’ve been a lot better and easier in my grandparents time but I wasn’t even thought of yet. No one wants anything serious, long term and meaningful like I do it seems. They’d rather be all sweet and lovey dovey in the beginning just for me to go through hell and their masks come off. And because they only see me as a sex object it makes me think “am I only physically/sexually attractive and nothing deeper like my heart, soul and personality?” I know I have a really good, pure, loving heart

[Surely]

If you feel that you need to take a break. That is Okay! Everyone probably should take one at some point in life.
But during that break maybe you should reevaluate your friends and where you hang out. Maybe there just isn’t the type of guys in those places that you are looking for?

[Asker]

Thank you

[Surely]

Thank you and good luck!

[SueShe]

If you feel that you need to give up dating or men in general, then by all means do it.

It is solely your choice and you must base it on your previous and past experiences. I presume that most of them were bad otherwise you would not have come up with such a drastic decision.

Give yourself time to think in peace about what caused your decision. There is no need to hurry because quick decisions are usually bad ones.

Quality relations are becoming increasingly difficult because a great number of people are actually very selfish and are less concerned about the wellbeing of their partner.

Take a few years time out and concentrate on what really makes you happy. There is never an urge to be in a relation. If being single works for you, then by all means do it.

[Asker]

Thank you. I agree and they were bad. They don’t know how to treat me, they don’t deserve me and they wanna use me for sex as if I’m an object and they treat me like trash. I’ve been through it all too many times

[Asker]

And I hate these modern times. People are super selfish and they’d rather have a good time over a good thing, they don’t wanna do what it takes to make it work, and it’s all just not for me

[SueShe]

Unfortunately, it is true that a great number of people are just out there to take advantage. However, that does not mean that everyone does it.

I would say that you should take a time out but not cut yourself from the outside world. Why don't you join a club or take up a hobby where you can meet people with the same interests as you do. You may find someone that not only shares you interests but also likes you for whom you are.

There is no need to jump in another relation if your gut feeling does not tell you you are safe both emotionally and physically. Good luck.

[Sweety2087]

I felt this way after I dumped my last relationship. I haven't dated since and its been more than 3 years. Well I wasn't wrong about my ex and my other relationships. I found about narcissism 3 years ago and I started to understand it more. I have had at least 5 men try to talk to me and I've had atheist 3 crushes. This is when I knew i still wanted a relationship. I want a relationship but not with a narcissist. Its more difficult to find a guy that isn't a narcissist but it is possible. My last was a Christian and even he was a narcissist and many people are. There are a lot of us especially who aren't narcissists.

[Asker]

I agree. It is hard to find someone who is real, genuine and not a narcissist. And I’ve been learning more and more about narcissism for 2 years now and I realize too many people are like that. Even my dad is a narcissist and he’s a relative

[Sweety2087]

I'm a Christian and believe that narcissists are getting exposed more than before. I still believe the good in others but were living in the age of narcissism. I do believe as more narcissism is known about more people will either try to change or continue being narcissists. Most narcissists don't change because they feel the world owes them something they didn't have in childhood. My dad is a narcissist too. I love him because his childhood wasn't good either. Unfortunately he's not open with his feelings and he's older now maybe he'll change. We all just need to believe that there are people who aren't narcissists. If you and I exist that aren't narcissists then there have to be more people just like you and I.

[Asker]

That’s true. And my dad is Christian and narcissistic too. And thank you. I hope you get everything you desire and need

[Ronni69]

Never give up, THE ONE is out there somewhere. And if you completely give up you’ll never find him. Take a break and stop looking. It’s crazy and weird but when you stop looking for something it always finds away to pop up in your face. Just do you and see what happens. You never know where he may be. He could be the guy you bump into in the grocery store, or the guy at a coffee shop that drops all of his change on the floor. Lol. He could even be the guy that drives the car you accidentally hit in a fender bender. You never know. But he will be there one day, maybe soon, maybe later but when you find him you will know.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Ronni69]

You are very welcome. ☺️ Good luck.

[my_name_is__]

That's totally fine. If you don't feel like dating right now don't do it. But don't say you'll never date again. Maybe someday you will want to do it again. Than that's also fine. Just do what feels right.

[Asker]

Thank you

[PrettyPriya]

That is your choice. I wouldn't hang that stereotype on all men because of some bad experiences. There are certainly good ones to be found.

However, no one is forcing you to date or be in a relationship. That is completely a personal decision.

[Asker]

It just feels like there aren’t any good ones that would want me, treat me right and deserve me. It seems like they all treat me like trash, lie, cheat, hurt me, stress me tf out, etc

[Asker]

And they only wanna use me for sex

[PrettyPriya]

I understand the frustration. It really just sounds like you are meeting the wrong guys and often. The problem is you never know what they are going to be like until you open up. Unfortunately, it hasn't worked out.

Maybe take a break from dating for a bit and focus on yourself. Who knows... perhaps love will fall in your lap when you aren't even expecting it.

Point is, there is nothing wrong with you wanting to just be single. That is a perfectly acceptable decision.

[Asker]

Thank you

[PrettyPriya]

You're welcome and hang in there. Focus on yourself and be happy. Good luck!

[Account]

All I can say is that it is reasonable. If you feel like giving up, give up.

[Hairylegs222]

Same for me exactly. Adding in your list are disappointments. Never give up though. There's that person for you out there. It is frustrating getting there but it will be worth it. I won't give up finding that one woman for me 🙂

[Asker]

Thank you. And yes lots of disappointments. And I hope you find them

[Asker]

It also helps when you’re not alone with something

[Anonymous]

You can just have a break for a while.

Sounds to me that your just asking Wether it's Morally right, Personally I don't think it's right to ignore every Guy who might like you just because you have had bad experiences with other Guys.
I have had bad experiences with the opposite Sex but I'm not going to Give up on them and become Gay, That's just stupid and pointless.

[Asker]

Yeah I can and that’s probably what I need. I definitely won’t even consider the same sex though. I can just be single and focus on myself and my life and work on what I need to

[Opinion Owner]

You definitely have the right to ignore People who are rude to you but I just think it's rude and stupid to ignore People who are just being nice to you, It can make you look like a Bitch that's all.

[Asker]

I don’t ignore people who are nice to me. If they’re genuinely nice to me then I’ll give it a shot. It just depends on their motives

[Asker]

Honestly there’s nothing I want more in life than someone who truly/genuinely loves me, deserves me and treats me right

[Opinion Owner]

Well, That's what we all want.

[Asker]

Yeah, we’re all only human

[Tyrael]

Entirely up to you if it's good or not. It's not required of you.

[Asker]

It seems like they only wanna take advantage of me and use me for sex. I have a really good heart and it appears that no one deserves me and wants to treat me right

[RebeccaBI2000]

I will give up on men. I could easily do that. Especially the random ones who just change out of the blue and do not tell me straight to the truth

[Asker]

Oh yeah me too definitely! I’ve dealt with that too many times already

[Wise4myage]

I say good in your situation, so stop dating for a while and enjoy being single.

[KingofCups]

Stay alone your whole life. No one is forcing you to go on dates. Although it's sad to hear so many young people take this position. Change your attitude and outlook and chances are you'll attract higher quality people into your life.

[boggboss]

So dont at the end of the day u are the only 1 effected it u prefer to be alone be alone lol

[Slim57]

So because of those men you dated, the rest of the men, who could be your dream man, don't get a chance?

[Asker]

I have to be super careful and I’m really guarding my heart

[Asker]

I really want my dream man though

[Tellme]

I think that’s very sad. I’m sorry. It seems you haven’t met the right guys.

[Anonymous]

Neutral. You do not harm or help anybody but yourself.

[Diodoro]

Neutral, because it only hurts you

[Anonymous]

It's good for us. One less damaged person out there creating toxic situations is always a step in the right direction.

[Asker]

I’m not at all for these modern days. Everyone wants to pick a good time over a good thing.. all this hookup and casual bs

[Iron_Man]

It’s bad just take a time out for a while

[888theGreat]

Go older. We are better than immature younger guys

[Snakeyes7]

Neutral, I've felt like that many times.

[Ryfyle]

You got personal problems you need to sort out.

[TsAubreyKate]

If you feel like that then you are the problem

[MasonAlucardthethird]

Good

[tponderingundead]

pretty reasonable.

[Anonymous]

It's a good thing.