Do friends ruin relationships?

[Crazycookie23]

A lot of people have been back and forth with this one.

With me personally during my last relationship, my ex partner weren't able to have the healthiest relationship due to a number of things, but one of the biggest issues I faced with him was him telling his friends (both and female friends) every detail of our relationship and even going as far as trash talking me to them.

This caused his friends to constantly speak negatively about our relationship and would always say things to him like "are you still with her?" or "have you broken up with her yet".

His guy friends would always try to persuade him and get him to hang out with them in attempts to get him to hook up with other women behind my back, and he tend to be very flirty with his female friends but when I would approach him about it, he would gaslight me she brush it off as if I was being crazy and that it was nothing to be worried about.

What do you all think? Guys does this make you scared to date girls with guy friends or too many friends in general? Girls, do you avoid guys with too many female friends?

Yes

No

[Xoxocutekitty]

Some friendships aren't healthy, aren't sustainable, and/or are oppositional to a stable long term relationship.

In terms of venting, there isn't really anything you can do. Being on the wrong side of the vent is never a fun or dignified place to be, but it's out of your control. You can however, criticize his friends for supporting the dissolution of a relationship, instead of telling him that while his specific claims are valid (maybe you did act like hot trash for a minute or two- it happens), there are always things he can do to improve his own relationship.

His friends are loyal, but perhaps they are not the peanut gallery you need to maintain a long term relationship.

Side story: i was buying a house with my boyfriend and his best friend took that time to get on his high horse about how he thought mortgages were bs. Now, thats not what you want to hear when you're already neck deep into the process. Are we still friends with them? Yes. Did we avoid them until the house was signed sealed, keys in hand (1 month), also yes. Now 8 months later, that guys girlfriend is on his case about buying a house and it's funny to watch the tables turn. He's asking us for advice now.

Moral of the story, some people can only understand situations from how they'd react to it now. Situations are situations. But leave the decisions up to the person in the situation. You can't make his friends unsolicited comments change, but you can reaffirm this moral to your boyfriend and let him assess the quality and relativity of the advice he surrounds himself with. He might decide he can do better, he might develop a thicker skin. And that's growth.

[Crazycookie23]

I was never got trash in that relationship sweetie...
My ex was the type of person that got mad at me because I didn't let him get away with treating me the way he wanted to treat me til this day, he can't keep a woman because of that same bullshit🤣

[dustybiker]

Your partner should come first. Friends can only ruin things if one or the other allows it to happen.

[jasco]

Never get advice from single friends when in a relationship because if that man/women is attractive to them, he/she will want to break y'all up so he/she can have a chance. what's more likely tho is that your friends just don't like that person your dating and theirfore they will say things that are bad about him/her. Honestly go to your married or long term relationship friends. Make sure not to throw to much info at them, just enough for them to get the general picture and understanding of what's going on

[NathanDavis]

nope... have never let it happen to me|

I would never let my friends interfere with my relationships...

and I would never let my partners to interfere with my friendships...

also, for both... I do pick them well as I am selective, none of them are drama queens or any of this... lol

[skytatoe]

Nononono that's him ruining his relationship. His friends just believed his sob story.

It's not 'friends ruining relationships', that's just the guy in the relationship ruining it by inappropriately trashtalking the relationship to anyone who will listen.

[IMuser]

Golden rule of relationships: do not involve others (until absolutely necessary) If you do, you are not mature enough to have a relationship

[Anonymous]

You answered your own question. Women are actually the worst at this, in my opinion.

[Crazycookie23]

It's called wanting different opinions on the matter

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, some friends are not friends.

[Xtendable]

Sounds like a difficult position for you to be in, especially considering that if you said something, that would exacerbate the problem and support what he was saying. Sorry that you went through that

[RebeccaBI2000]

Friends can ruin things. Especially if giving them too much information. He needs to choose.

[MountAverage]

Only true for extremely immature people.

[noohair]

A gentleman keeps his mouth shut.