Is it good to keep a mystery in the relationship and have a full busy life to avoid getting tired of each other?

[Anonymous]

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

If that how you want the relationship to be, sure. It just sounds complicated and immature.

What about if/when you two decide you want to live together or get married? Your life and relationship won’t be a mystery at all, and you two will most definitely get tired of each other if you already had your relationship pretty distant.


You can live a full busy life easily. Just get a job, friends, and hobbies. But at the end of the day, when you’re in a relationship, you want to be around your partner, and if you truly value the relationship and your partner, you wouldn’t want to keep the relationship a mystery and avoid being with them.


Even if you keep yourself busy, that doesn’t mean you won’t get tired of your partner. Purposely keeping busy to avoid being/talking with your partner, and “keeping a mystery” in the relationship sounds quite childish, in my very honest opinion.

[Asker]

The last guy I was with preferred it a mystery and would call me cling even if I messaged once

[Asker]

Probably just a jerk

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Big time jerk!!!
Trust me, I was kinda in a relationship like that. He called me clingy and didn’t even want me to text him. Just a jerk…!

[Asker]

Oh no 😢 not nice at all!! I'm thinking I might hold off for someone better

[Emiliamazing]

If you were referring to keeping things slightly mysterious, perhaps that can refer to surprise plans together that you both end up truly enjoying. If you would prefer parts of your life to remain somewhat anonymous or mysterious, I think that might be a negative in most individuals eyes, at least if they are looking for a long-term or serious relationship.
Impromptu dates doing something neither of you had ever thought about and other forms of surprise or mystery can be a lot of fun, but keeping a shadow of secrecy doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun in my book.

[Emiliamazing]

Thanks for the MHO, much appreciated!

[slatyb]

Yes. 24/7 togetherness is exhausting for most people. It's intolerable when one partner prevents the other from participating in activities alone.

[chefsam]

It’s good to keep the relationship interesting but being too busy can definitely affect the relationship. You gotta find balance