How can you keep a relationship exciting, interesting, and internal?

Question

I find it so difficult to get along with someone for so long time and I really can't deal with problems I always end up quitting the person for maybe trivial reasons...

Sarahr123 · Accepted Answer

I have had the same issue. Perhaps you haven’t met any people of substance yet. You are still very young and have many years ahead of you to find people you actually may want to keep around. It is probably more of a blessing. Maybe you’re good at reading people and sense they’re not trustworthy. Or perhaps you’re above average intelligence and none of the people you’ve known so far are enough of an intellectual challenge to be able to have meaningful conversations with which will stimulate you intellectually.

On the other hand it could also be an underlying medical problem. Perhaps you have a personality disorder such as borderline personality disorder which can cause symptoms such as sabotaging healthy and meaningful relationships. You’ll have bouts of extreme anger followed by extreme happiness or sadness and you just can’t control them. They’re random but probably have things that trigger and set you off. This can be caused by a chemical change in the brain or a traumatic and abusive childhood or both environmental and biological factors. If mental illness runs in your family then this could be a cause. You could also have depression alongside this. When a person suffers with borderline disorder they think that people will abandon them even if everything is perfectly fine in the relationship so they self-sabotage. Depression further pushes people away because people who have depression tend to want to remain alone and don’t have the energy to meet and spend time with people. It can be a chore even to get out of bed.

Try to understand your thoughts and behaviour and get to the bottom of it. If it is a health problem, please do see a medical professional soon.

PinkMichae · Accepted Answer

Maybe no one has been important enough for you to fight for the relationship.

gmanji · Accepted Answer

I personally think to keep a relationship internal means to be honest and vulnerable with the people in your life in any relationship. Friends, family, romance.

Being vulnerable means being brave enough to tell others about the story of your life. Not just the good parts of your story, but the bad parts too. The parts we're embarrassed to talk about. The parts that people might judge us for. The parts that make us feel like we're broken.

It can be scary to share a piece of ourselves only for them to just not accept us. To throw us in the trash and say "Next person please!" So we play it safe and just talk about music, memes, food, events. Things that don't really matter when it comes to creating lifelong bonds with each other.

It can be uncomfortable to overshare with someone you're not as close with, but when you think about it, it's not something we've really tried. Some people might have bad judgment on you or even run away, but it can be a good way to weed people out. These people weren't meant to be a part of your life anyway, at least not an important part. Then there are those few who stay and listen to your story the whole way through, good parts and bad parts, and still want to know more. They want to stay for the next chapters in your life. They accept your goodness and your faults all the same. Those people resonate with you so much that it makes them share a bit of themselves in return. All of a sudden, you appreciate all the good and bad that they have to offer as well. And that is one way a meaningful and internal relationship can be formed, one that is built to last.

MasseurDeMojo · Accepted Answer

Everybody gets into a relationship, and later wants to get out. A relationship will always have ups and downs; there will be times when you are all lovey dovey, and other times you will not want to be around each other. Through it all, you are to be the best of friends; always learning about what the other person desires, and then working with that to help build the relationship stronger. The problems occur, because both are only giving 50 percent to the relationship. When you are willing to give 100 percent each into the relationship; you find that couples tend to have less drama, and more love and desire to be with each other for ever. The key to a great relationship is constant communication; if you are not talking to each other about everything, then expect your relationship to be filled with drama. The sun should never go down on your wrath; talk everything out, and come to an agreement before the sun goes down, and you are sleeping. Yo do not want things to marinate, and turn something insignificant, into the reason why you are getting a divorce.

Relationships are not easy. There will always be rough patches, with lots of drama, and anger. How one survives in spite of the drama, anger, and rough patches, is talking things over, listening to gain a greater understanding of the other persons point of view,; then actually finding common ground, in order to resolve the conflict, and make you relationship bond stronger.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I would say to keep yourself busy and look for peace and not for stimulation and excitement cause no guy no matter how hot can stand on a pedestal forever, there will always be a breaking point.

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

Have goals that are separate from the relationships. Nothing worse than when couples only focus on each other and don’t focus on things outside of their relationship that matter. Me and my boyfriend only see each other 2-3 times a week and honestly it makes us miss each other a lot. Even when living together, do your own thing, don’t be up each other’s asses all the time, and just live life.

msbrightness · Answer

I like the 'internal' part.
There are two things there - one, the moment you verbalise it to a friend, they will talk, judge, scheme and otherwise hijack your feelings for their own devices (this even applies to some extent towards the person you are in a relationship with, depending on how you address them/talk to them - in your own voice or in the voice of someone's opinion),
Two - there is always at least a decent chance that someone else will seem a better, or an easier, deal - soon after you tie the knot, so to speak (because you ended up falling for someone while in-effort, someone else xould seem appealing while at rest).
On top of it, a whole bunch of self assigned match makers out there will very consciously send you someone just to invalidate your choices (because if only you paid them or adhered to their gospel you'd get that bliss 😉)

ohshee · Answer

I can tell you exactly how are you ready for this but if you're ready for this you have this stick with it for 30 days you're my girlfriend for 30 days I'm your boyfriend for 30 days at the end of the 30 days I will tell you exactly why it's hard for you to keep a boyfriend no rules no limits is it a deal this gives you a chance to learn something about you and gives me a chance to learn something about me do you take the challenge

DaveToo · Answer

Well, let's see. You're 18. That's not a put down by the way. I was once and grew up with a bunch of other 18-year-olds. I had two of my own, both female, that was 18 once.

That said, you have dealt with parents or other people of authority so having to deal with someone else that might come across as an authority figure, is off-putting. Just sit back, relax, and pick up pen and paper. Yes, those ancient artifacts from long long ago. Start writing your pros and cons about your, (all too brief), relationships. Then take a day off and go back to it with fresh eyes.

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Have a strong desire and passion to succeed in life, become a better person, forge new relationships, travel. Someone who is always positive. I could list myriad things that you should do, but my greatest advice is to be strong, content within yourself. Being Humble is a must. Humor is great. If you can laugh at yourself, that’s huge. Everything else will come naturally. You will know what to do. I’ll give one tip. Go to one of those bed and breakfasts nestled up in the mountains. Nature is great.

jshm2 · Answer

That is your weakness and insecurity. None can really help you but you in that regard.

You just need to stop being a coward, and learn some social skills. You'll not get a job, let alone stay employed, if your engagement game is hella weak.

It may be an abusive childhood, weak parenting, or lack of mental development that is root. But it's more towards therapy than enneagram methinks.

chrissykerdock · Answer

give him blowjobs it will help in a lot of ways... say your having a fight and he asks you to give him head suddenly you won't be mad anymore i promise you that and it will lift your mood... plus if he's hard for you and enjoying your lips it's definitely a turn on... it's never boring sucking someone's cock so it will be an interesting relationship

DizzyDesii · Answer

I feel you on that girl. I really dont know how to keep things alive because I’m a routine person and i’m not that spontaneous nor into experimenting. I like what i like and well if i find someone who already likes what i like then it makes things easier because no one has to change who they are. We’re both content continuously doing what we do as long as we do it together

Anonymous · Answer

Women and men today are narcistic... Toxic! They both want to be put on pedistals. Listen to movies, facebook fantasies.. Everyone is shitlisted if they dont please them.. No ones perfect, perfect is a fantasy! Change within. Have a new dream that meets reality.. Close eyes meditate on every fantasy you can let go of, what is reality and fantasy. Post questions here.. Mature from answers.. Change your vision of life.. Meditate on each new idea and "negitive outcome you'll accept", most people stay emotionally immature their whole life.. Be mindfull of reality and fantasy.. It starts within your choices..

sensible27 · Answer

Might be beca you don't feel that person really understands you.. or you might see them as a replaceable commodity. I think it's about finding that someone who excites you, gives you new prespectives, maybe makeslifejustthatlittlebitworth living, that special someone.. maybe

rjroy3 · Answer

Don't get into a relationship until you're ready for the commitment. That's pretty much it. If you're the one leaving for trivial reasons then that means it is a You problem that needs to be addressed

rodeschaap · Answer

Relationships won't be exciting forever. You will have to deal deal problems when you decide that you want a long-term relationship. You simply deal with it, remember why you love them and try to do fun things together when you can.

zohs345 · Answer

First in my opinion you should at least know what make your relationship exciting. As far as I see you or anyone else has a lapse of moment from time to time. But to make your relationship exciting and interesting then find ways to find some activities

Leavesbound · Answer

At 18 you have not had nearly enough relationship practice. Improving these things usually is gradual and takes years. Try a few more relationships. You'll get the hang of it in a few years.

Andres77 · Answer

You're young. You'll learn Patience and maybe as you get older you'll be with more mature people who have resolved more of their personal issues. Not all, but more of them.

whatdoyouwantt · Answer

Well if you suit together, relationship will be exciting itself... if you need to force it then it’s not the right one... you might be wasting time

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Pick the right guy. A relationships success rate comes down to picking a person with values you agree with. On the first date i express my values and expectations so that im not wasting my precious time

exitseven · Answer

Relationships have phases. It is not always possible to maintain the excitement on a day by day basis.  Sometimes people just drift apart over time.

bobrosss · Answer

You're still 18 you're gonna lose interest sooner or later, teenage girls are really like rollercoasters😂

yesitcanhappen · Answer

You can find someone who share similar interests. Things like travelling, hiking, going to movies, etc.

Iron_Man · Answer

I take my girl to Europe and keep her entertained and happy

allaboutyou2 · Answer

By falling in love with that person every single day.

ayomanwya · Answer

Treat your relationship like it’s the first day you got in one with your partner, don’t be around each other 24/7 or don’t call each other 24/7, surprise one another

Thedivinechic · Answer

By reminding your partner you feel deeply for them everyday.

loveslongnails · Answer

You're only 18 ... how can you say "always end up quitting the person" ? How often is "always"? How many relationships have you quit, for trivial reasons, in your young life?

Maspolomas · Answer

I’m not sure how to help I’ve been with my girlfriend for 26 years now. I honestly don’t know how it got this far

TobyMercury1 · Answer

Make sure you're with the right guy and you both love each other, then keeping the relationship exciting won't be a problem

Asianguy123 · Answer

maybe get a hobby that you can do it together? travel some place exotic? make a business plan together?

Anonymous · Answer

the generation coming up even though they are Drama by themselves they can't deal with drama pure hypocrisy

TheFlak38 · Answer

just give him regularly blow jobs. He will treat you like a Goddess.

Anonymous · Answer

That interesting. How long do your relationships typically last? What are some of the reasons you leave that you think are trivial? And what are the problems you can't deal with?

Anonymous · Answer

you should talk to a head doctor to find out why you are like this, otherwise your future is doomed to failure and heartbreak

Anonymous · Answer

Can't do anything about that, it's in a woman's nature to be hypergamous

Supernormal · Answer

Pray for what you want. How bout that

Anonymous · Answer

... by keeping it short and moving on to the next one.

Gabbledegak · Answer

Do something you haven't done as much as possible.

JamieLoves · Answer

Wrong choices. You need challenges.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

Always try new things

jimmy2 · Answer

Ohhh honey life will bless you

Anonymous · Answer

give him good blowjobs

Paulychicago10 · Answer

Do new things

abhi75757 · Answer

Its from both side

sixtyeightplusone · Answer

anal

How can you keep a relationship exciting, interesting, and internal?

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