Is it okay to live in a secret relationship?

[bjork]

I really don't get it why people keep their relationships secret. Have you evet experienced such a relationship? Was it your or your partner's choice to keep it secret?

[drummer]

It's like something straight out of a drama series, isn't it? Whether it's okay or not, well, that's a bit of a complex question. It really depends on the context and the reasons behind keeping it under wraps.

The Excitement Factor: Let's be real, there's something undeniably thrilling about a secret romance. It can feel pretty special and even intensify the bond between you two.

But Why the Secrecy?: This is the biggie. Are we talking Romeo and Juliet style family feuds, or is it because one or both of you are in another commitment? If it's something like cultural or family disapproval, that's one thing. But if it's about sneaking around because of existing relationships or responsibilities, that's a whole different ethical ballpark.

The Stress Factor: Keeping a relationship secret can be super stressful. Dodging questions, hiding social media evidence, lying about your whereabouts – it's like being a spy in your own life.

Impact on the Relationship: Sometimes, being in a secret relationship can put a strain on the bond. It might hinder your relationship from growing naturally. You miss out on doing normal couple things like hanging out with friends or family together. It's like you're stuck in this perpetual 'honeymoon' phase without ever really getting to see how your relationship handles the real world.

The Long-term Plan: What's the endgame here? Are you planning to go public eventually, or is this a forever-secret kind of deal? If there's no plan to eventually come out into the open, you might want to think about what that means for the future of your relationship.

Emotional Well-being: Constant secrecy can be emotionally draining. There's the fear of being found out, the guilt (if applicable), and the frustration of not being able to be open about your feelings for each other.

In short, whether it's okay to be in a secret relationship really depends on your situation. If it's a temporary thing due to external factors like family or societal pressures, and if both parties are genuinely okay with it, then it might work out. But if it's about hiding and deceit, especially at the expense of others, that's where the ethical waters get murky.

[wysiwyg2525]

No because feeling will always get hurt. If your hiding now then your entire life will be fake and some will get hurt in the end. Stop liver a second be honest with eachother and face the world together. But it looks like you or bothered are cheating on a boyfriend or girlfriend so good luck on this.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you have a relationship and didn't even know about it until you're being pushed down the aisle by your friends/family and find yourself married. And you look at each other and say, "Dude, I just wanted someone to share the rent with."

Especially with women, everybody's going to have an opinion about setting her up. It sounds like a historical novel plot, but it still happens... and because we're brought up groomed to be wives and mothers without any thought given to OUR wants, we learn to roll over and take it and let everyone else decide our lives for us.

And sometimes, you wake up and say, "This is bullshit. This is not who I am, and I'm not 'traditional' in any sense, so why am I letting other people live my life for me?"

So you stop seeking approval from other people about how you're pleasing THEM in YOUR relationship and do what you want for yourself and your partner.

My partner and I really don't give a shit what other people think about our relationship, because it works for us. But as soon as I go into details, everyone's got an opinion about how we're not following the "rules."

[RoseySarah]

It's more the excitement 😉 for women!

My sister had two! One we kinda knew about... She married divorced and one we pretended to not know about.

The first was a toxic guy we all hated very bad "secret relationship" we ignored after speaking our minds.

The other was with a baby daddy who she latter married and is still married. She loves the excitement of hiding him and we played along.

All having net him at other times apart from her.

Really not usually worth it but some people need a thrill.

As for a cheating relationship well every one will agree those are so bad even with an arraigned marriage!

[coachTanthony]

When they are married or committed to someone else it needs to stay secret.

[CalmUntilAbused]

It's a potential red flag regarding infidelity/promiscuity. If the side that proposed it decides to cheat on or leave the other side for someone else, they will be spared the label of "cheater" among the mutual friends of the original pair.

[SotiCoto]

I never kept relationships secret, but I never applied any effort to talk about them either. One of my exes got annoyed and thought I was trying to hide her because I didn't brag about her... and I tried to explain that relationship-flexing is douchey. It seems to just be a cultural difference or something.

[LostSouls_]

Sounds very unhealthy. If for whatever reason someone feels the need to keep their relationship a secret, then they know they shouldn’t be with that person.

[AmeerX]

A relationship should not be kept secret. It's always best to make it public as soon as possible. And marriage and engagement within 3-6 months should be practiced. If someone is not ready for engagement in 6 months-12 months it's really not worth pursuing. And not introducing your boyfriend or partner to family is a big red flag

[Joshydavid25]

Nah, it's kinda weird.. You don't need to broadcast it, but keeping it secret means you know something is up with the relationship, or that you are keeping it secret for a reason. A reason the partner wouldn't want to know.

[Unit1]

I mean it's kinda none of people's business anyway. Especially if you have overbearing or toxic parents. People commonly believe that it's their business to judge and tear you apart with your relationship.

[NathanDavis]

I wouldn't even know how to do that in the first place... lol

[ProbablyClueless]

I would absolutely hate that. Even if the relationship is otherwise totally moral. The fact it is being kept a secret is just too suspicious.

[exitseven]

Lots of people keep relationships secret because they do not want their spouses to find out

[DextroShade]

It's a secret because the man won't claim her. This is usually because she is just a sidepiece.

[linka_pat307]

I have had relationship that my parents didn't know but it ain't good

[trellbrown84]

I wouldn't want anybody knowing about my relationships, because if I were hypothetically to get into a relationship, society would say something about that too

[KittygosMeoWW]

I’m no one’s secret lol that’s embarrassing

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends on both people... I have done it for various reasons in the past

[milyjohn]

It varies from state to state.

[SphynxUK]

If it’s their choice, they are hiding something.

[DreamLife7]

What do u think stupid? You're 40 asking us

[NeverGiveUp69]

If no one finds out

[Anonymous]

No, too much stress in my opinion.