this happens at your age as the "chicken" wants to leave the roost and it doesn't match the parents rules. It's 20x the power when it isn't allowed. Don't believe me, think about how fun it would be to get drunk... it's fun because it's illegal. There's reasons it's illegal.. people are idiots when they drink and hurt others. Anyways.
I remember 14. I was stupid as F and so were most of my friends. We knew nothing about life... give it at least another 10 years. Your brain hasn't developed yet... I'm sorry the hormones turned on, they do, just deal with it... you aren't ready for real life yet.
If you have decent parents that care about you, go to your parents, tell them what you've been doing and you want to be punished for breaking their rules but not too bad. maybe clean the house for 6 months and no video games.
alternately, make a youtube series about it, make $. put it in your college or illegitimate offspring fund. Kids are really expensive. you know the % frequency of dumb ass 14 yr old boys sticking around once the girls pregnant don't you? LOW... don't murder the baby either... that's wrong.
As a fully grown adult it feels weird to see 14 y/o date but it's nothing new lol
I get why your parents would want to keep out out of boy stuff at this age. I was kinda like you at 14 except that I wasn't dating but there was a guy who used to sneak into my room.
My advice as a grown-up who forgot she was once a wildchild: Don't date. Break up and focus on your studies. Dating at this age will make you regret it a lot. You'll get deceived, go through times you might not grown up enough to handle and you might regret doing dumb stuff later on. Plus you're only 14, there's plenty of time and boys.
My advice as the adult who sometimes listens to her inner wildchild: You'll have to be smart. There's no other way around it. Just be extremely smart. Don't let the guy take away the focus on more important things. He shouldn't be a priority. But being a good kid doesn't mean you can't have some fun. Just know your limits and violate them a little but not too much. You'll be surprised what you can achieve lol. It's dangerous and dumb but it's like a once in a lifetime thing. You just have to get your priorities straight, be a mastermind and know your limits.
Going behind your parents back is never a good thing. If you happen to get pregnant the you know what is going to hit the fan. I guess if you can basically "cheat" on your parents who else are you going to cheat on in the future? All you are doing is damaging your credibility with people, especially your parents when they find out. And believe me, they eventually will.
Learn to stand up for yourself and ask them to compromise. IE, you'll always be home on time when you say you will, and you'll meet him in public places etc.
If they can see you are being a young adult about it, they might come around and accept their girl is growing up. Unless of course they are asshats who think they can stop you from dating. (That never works)
The problem is, you've gone behind their back so now they might not trust you. so be careful how long you say you've dated.
Opinion
39Opinion
u Why do they not want you dating?
Your parents are right to be strict about dating at your age because at age 14, dating is really not what should be on top of your priority list.
Considering that you are a minor and that you are still going to school, your priorities should be your education rather than boys. Dating involves all kinds of problems, the first one being the dangers that you are exposing yourself when you are alone with that boy.
I would suggest that you finish your education first and that you concentrate on what is really important. Boys at that age only have one thing in mind and that should be a red flag to you. Your parents have only your interest in mind when they are being strict about dating.
I've known girls to invite their friends with benefits to their parents house as a friend and usually he comes dressed in a shirt and tie lol i honestly think you should invite him round in the same way and have them gel with him.
That's just how it is. It's exciting. When will parents learn this? It will happen at that age and you can't stop it. My parents were so strict but at 14 I was sucking off half the senior year in an ally behind a dumpster. Didn't really have the effect they hoped for.
They're gonna find out eventually. You'd be better off just telling them. Just introduce them to your boyfriend and invite him over a lot, in the daytime. Let them get to know him and let him gain their trust.
Who knows? They might even come to like him and give you their full blessing.
Does your boyfriend know? I think you should try and tell your parents, speak to them and introduce him to them. I mean, it also depends how old you are
I mean, it sounds like you are already doing what you really want to do. What's to say? I would just add, you are young and parents are the parents for a reason. They do know more and better for you sometimes. It does not hurt to hear them out and soak up the knowledge.
I went through that when I was in my teen years. My mom was your typical strict Hispanic mother that didn’t let me date. I got anxious and had a secret relationships because I liked guys but my mom didn’t let me. I advise you don’t do it. It stresses you out and once it gets serious you realize you can’t actually have a real relationship and it crushes you.
Back in the days a lot of people were dating when they were 14. I think there is nothing wrong with it unless the boy is much older. Why waiting for ‘the one’ when you are 20 or 30? Perhaps you will never meet someone again. I think there should be no limit
Just listen to your parents. Any good parent would be strict at your age- you're 14. This won't be the guy you're going to marry, so it's not really worth all this trouble.
Regaress on what anyone says though, you're going to do it anyway and learn from your own mistakes. I really hope you just dont end up pregnant or something.
I don't think it's obvious but it is straight forward. Integrity, integrity, integrity. It's about doing the right thing. And of course that depends on what you consider to be right. If you described this situation as a problem, then I'm guessing you think it's not the right thing to do. So there you go. Either unleash the secret and tell whoever it is you haven't told or think you should tell, or stop getting into secret relationships.
well this is advice that you may like but parents will not, i say if it has been kept from them so far than keep doing what your doing at the moment. unless this is truly bothering you then keep it a secret. but you should know that your not the only one who has done this so your not alone. and even if they find out for me i would be upset but kids do make their own choices all the time.
I started dating at 14, both our parents knew but we were active in after school things like sports and band so it wasn't like they could stop anything.
Eventually they'll know but you don't have to be forward about it, and just keep things as-is, like if it goes until you get to 15 it'll even be easier. You don't even have to tell them how long unless they ask either.
You’re 14 .. you need to let an adult know for your own safety reasons.
well somehow you’ve survived 11 months. good for you but there’s a reason parents do what they do. i had a secret relationship and when i got caught, my parents were understanding (i was almost disowned at first but then they calmed down) and asked if i see this in the long run. i said maybe, but the guy i was with didn't. he practically just tried to save his own ass and i was left heartbroken. so make sure this guy is worth all the lies and secrecy before you continue hiding it
You are 14 - truth be told, that relationship will most probably vanquish and not survive the tooth of time, but still - tell them if it's really serious. They probably know already, parents are observative.
You really should end it, because the stress you must be feeling isn't healthy.
Is your boyfriend your age? If he is, you can do the Romeo and Juliet thing and just not tell them. If he’s significantly older, I would advise telling an adult you trust for your own safety.
They will find out.
You can control how they do it, if you tell them, they might react better, then if they will find out other ways.
Obviously, I should mention, that at your age you should be concentrating on your studies and future, not finding fastest way how to get welfare money and no future.
Introduce him as a friend, have him get closer to your parents. If they like him, it's all good.
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