I know my girlfriend keeps secrets from me. What should I do?

Question

Mostly her family secrets. Her cousin is ill and their family is keeping it as a secret. Even she is not ready to tell me what his illness is. I don't really really wanna know what his problem is.. But, As we are in a serious relationship, looking for long term, I wonder why she keeps secrets from me that doesn't affect our relationship. The only secrets i keep are for the sake of our relationship.

Alaistair · Accepted Answer

Let me get this straight you are keeping secrets from her because you believe it's for the good of the relationship, I wonder what would she have to say about that?
And about her cousin's illness its not secret he is not well its pretty much out in the open. What the sickness is about is not really what you should be concerned about. It's a personal preference that she has chosen not to tell you what details are about her cousin, respect her decision and behave like an adult, you are of an adult age aren't you? You'll are in serious relationship so focus on supporting her where she needs it don't over step just because you want to help doesn't mean that she has to let you help her. I assume you would want to be in a relationship with a person and not some damsel in distress right?

Edanurus · Accepted Answer

If it doesn't affect your relationship then it really has nothing to do with you.

Now if its affecting her then it is your problem but you don't have to know the details to support her. There are many ways to be a supportive partner and I think that words are the least important.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Maybe she's been asked not to tell anyone specifics about her cousins' illness. It sounds like she's just trying to respect his privacy, which is an honorable trait. If something happened to you and you asked her not to tell anyone any details, wouldn't you want her to respect that? Her cousins' illness doesn't affect her, you or your relationship, so I personally don't think it's that big of a deal.

Marilynjuana · Accepted Answer

Personally I would respect it if it were simply about the family secret and nothing else. I still hold quite a few family secrets myself, for a good reason, so I can sympathise.

Agape93 · Answer

Get over it. Everyone has secrets and are entitled to keep them that way.

Nawlins34 · Answer

You're being hypocritical with you expectations right now.

It sounds like you've actually confronted her regarding this issue and she held her ground. It does appear they are family secrets for the time being.

She keeps secrets from you that doesn't affect her relationship because she's principled.

If you can hide secrets from her and sleep at night, you can manage the opposite.

Otherwise, end the relationship.

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

People are different. Even though I'm very comfortable around my bestie and she knows a lot of stuff, I actually PREFER to have some secrets.

She could also not be used to be sharing everything even though you're together.
Give her time, ask her about it maybe, just try to be nice about it.

Anonymous · Answer

Those are not her secrets to reveal. They are her family's... and sorry to note that you seem to have it wrong, the secrets that may affect the relationship are precisely the ones you should share between you two.

CurvyCandice · Answer

let there be some secrets you do not have ownership over her, stop being possessive.

Anonymous · Answer

She should be able to have her privacy. Don’t invade her space because other people’s business is not your to know. She is protecting the privacy of someone else, and you should just respect that. I once dated a man who wanted to know about my family and I didn’t want him to know their business. I loved him and I wanted him to meet them but their personal life was not his business to know

Weasly · Answer

If it doesn't impact the relationship, what need is there for her to tell you? Keeping g secrets that impact the relationship is the bigger deal in my opinion?

boggboss · Answer

Simply shows how trust worthy she is that she is not prepared to give secrets out

slatyb · Answer

You should be patient. When she feels it is safe, she will be more open. You make her feel safe by accepting whatever she tells you without judging her or anyone else.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

I think if it doesn't affect or pertain to your relationship, then why does it matter if she doesn't tell you? Plus, if it's about her cousin, she might feel it is not her secret to share.

PeterAyre · Answer

Haha the only secrets you keep are for the sake of your relationship 🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous · Answer

Get a big bottle of mouthwash and get used to kissing her ass and eating her shit. My ex-wife did things like this. Her family was on a higher level than I was, I was always second fiddle to her family. I kissed a lot of ass being with her. What is so bad about the family secrets and lying, is that the lying will get worst and move to other areas of your lives and relationship. She will start lying about bank accounts, money, friends, and even other men and cheating. This is a red flag.

Anonymous · Answer

you keep secrets from her for the sake of your relationship but don’t like the fact that she won’t tell you want the illness is? what ur expecting is very unfair when you’re doing the same.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Talk to her about it; come to an understanding (give and take) on it. Keep the communication honest and open. Trust her and be honest; and be sure that she treats you the same.

winterfox10 · Answer

Dude... just respect that she will tell you when she's ready to tell you. You don't need to know, so don't ask.

nerobyrne · Answer

If you ever meet someone who doesn't keep secrets, they're just good enough that you don't know it. So nothing, basically.

Silverio_Stieger · Answer

You should do nothing about it. Except continue to keep your own secrets from her. Trust (and respect) it's a matter of give it, not demand it.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

If its her family business then you don't need to know that. Respect that.

mindNsoul · Answer

That's double standards!

TheFlak38 · Answer

dumpah now and dumpah fast.

In_Trance · Answer

You put up with it or you move on

OddBeMe · Answer

Her life. Just be a rock.

natalie33345 · Answer

Reach back like a pimp n slap the hoe

Iron_Man · Answer

Call her out on it

Yads_Is_Back · Answer

Dump the chick

SavageDaddy · Answer

Get over it. Everyone has secrets.

jimmy2 · Answer

Well that will change

Anonymous · Answer

waterboard her

I know my girlfriend keeps secrets from me. What should I do?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said