Do you think you are allowed to have secrets in a relationship?

[humanearth]

Updates

+1 y

Too many great answers, anyone that is not at master level and replies (see below) the fastest gets the MHO

I'll pick one Girl and I Boy

Update:
I'll take an MHO

[Guy13]

Room to function freely and possess private thoughts is not leading a secret life, however, if one acts upon those private thoughts then one should consider the effect on the other party. In such cases…
If there is trust then the desire not to misstep or unnecessarily put other party at Risk should motivate one to share those thoughts and their outworking.
And in the same spirit, if party asks “where you heading or what’s up?” this is not a violation of another’s Person.

Phones and all electronic devices passwords should be available to all Parties. If one is not comfortable when one leaves their phone accessible and forgotten heading out to COSTCO then that’s a secret that is of a wrong sort.

[humanearth]

Phone passwords?

[Guy13]

Email, phone, iPad, what’s up, Insta, snap, face and whatever else. All Open or whatever the word is… No Private electronic movement for partner.

I’m not talking gps tracking, apps secretly installed or any other crazy narcissist or sociopathic stuff.

[humanearth]

I been married for 30 years, I never ask my wife for passwords and she never asked for mine. That's called trust

[Juxtapose]

That doesn't fly with me, I have all kinds of private conversations on my phone and people would really not appreciate their secrets getting out.

[Guy13]

Trust is offering them and eliminating an insecurity and leaving one open to the one they trust.

[Guy13]

@Juxtapose To me, you’re a fool then. Those should be encrypted, mult-layered protected, and the fact that you leave peers or clients liability and personal information open to that sort of access is beyond irresponsible

[Juxtapose]

You do realize my phone has a password, right? Why do I need encryption when someone would need to take my phone off of my person and then get my password?

[humanearth]

@Juxtapose we dont own a cellphone, So thats one less thing to worry about

[SnowedIn]

Absolutely yes. And the what's on that list of secrets will differ from relationship to relationship. Secrets sometimes preserve harmony and hurt nothing/no one.

[humanearth]

Best answer I never expected

[SnowedIn]

thank you kind sir!

[SnowedIn]

Fun update!

[humanearth]

One Boy for MHO

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[jennifer_bloom]

I believe humans belong to God and not their romantic partner, their partner is just borrowing them while they are on earth.

[TrueConfection]

I don't think there can be a blanket rule for this question.

[humanearth]

Never heard of the blanket rule before. What does it mean

[TrueConfection]

It just means one size fits all. All yes or all no.

[TrueConfection]

Thank you for the MHO? 😋

[AviatorTom]

Of course, there are always some secrets that you don't share with your partner. So long as it's not somethign your partner should know about you, that's perfectly okay.

Example: You cheated on your college final exam. Okay if still a secret.

Example: You gambled away this week's grocery money. Not good to keep it a secret.

[OlderAndWiser]

Who makes the rules for the relationship?

[Chazmatazz269]

Of course! It’s difficult to maintain self when you share everything. I would suggest “impossible”, but maybe someone has pulled it off. The key isn’t full disclosure so much as complete honesty. You don’t have to tell everything, but you must be entirely honest with anything and everything you do share, at all costs.
The truth will never cost you more than a lie.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Absolutely yes.

I have my secrets and she has hers - we know that and we accept it. Sharing 100% of everything would not only be counterproductive, but even put the other in danger. So for our sake and the sake of our children, to preserve harmony and our marriage, we agree to not tell each other everything.

[CateM]

To an extent, yes. If this secret is something small and embarrassing that happened while their partner wasn't around, that's fine, but I'd be pissed if they lied about something big like having a child and not telling me

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I guess everyone has secrets.

I am guilty of being too honest in my previous relationship, as I think my EX liked it more when I was mysterious.

[RobT312]

Sure, I’m guessing everyone has secrets. As long as they are little things and not crazy ones such as cheating, or crimes…lol, then it’s ok

[Msputiton]

Yes.

Like somethings are not so easy to tell. And if the secret has 0 impact on the relationship. Why not

[IveGotNoName]

Small meaningless ones, yes, we're still our own person.

[alcorriher]

truly depends on the couple and the type of secrets, but i would prefer him be open and honest with me.

[sunflower44]

Yes ,, if he knew everything about me he would get bored, but then again not a secret girlfriend or something like that just little secrets

[NathanDavis]

Yes.

and if you want an even better relationship, you would have the willingness to share those in due time...

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I think so. Does your man or woman seriously need to know every little single thing you ever did? No. It's not necessary.

[TaureanBull81]

Absolutely! There are certainly which you don't have to share with an SO. They don't need to know everything about you otherwise that would just be controlling.

[LiamJHayden]

No think to it. I am allowed. If she doesn't like it she can go away.

[Luopio27]

Depends if the secret is hiding something highly illegal or cheating.

[exitseven]

Everyone has secrets. You cannot have secrets that will effect the other person or the relationship.

[ArrowheadSW]

Most people have something in their past that they'd rather not share with others.

[Anonymous]

That's a recipe for disaster. If you both want to experiment, do it as a team. Partners in crime.

[HaveNoName]

I have one obvious secret. If my wife finds out I have a GAG account, she will ask for a divorce. 😕

[Paul09]

Line a secret password? Hell yes. Or even a personal secret.

[KrakenAttackin]

Not if you want your real relationship to survive.

[dustybiker]

Not secrets. Mystery is okay though.

[Jaximus-Lion]

Define a secret?

[humanearth]

Little or a big secret anykind

Like my biggest secret for years was my crossdressing

[FilmGuy93]

privacy is not the same as keeping secrets

[CuriousMufuxka]

Allowed? No. Going to have anyway.. Yes!

[Anonymous]

Yes, I dont share my side chicks.