My boyfriends friends hate me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend (22m) me (22 F) just had to have a great conversation because his friends told him they didn’t like my personality, and that my dynamic just doesn’t fit there group, I don’t try hard enough to get to know them, I’m too quiet, and I don’t bring anything exciting to the group so no one’s gonna miss me if I’m not there. I’ve met them 2-4 times in the span of our 1 year relationship. And my boyfriend understands what they mean because they feel if I’m around my boyfriend doesn’t act like his normal self, and they can’t be their normal selfs so why would they want me there. I don’t think I’ve ever been this upset by something before, I’m not the kinda person who cares what people think of me however that’s actually getting to know me.

Updates

+1 y

I’m wondering if I should really be upset by this, or make an effort even to be myself if I ever do see them?

[Mofunfour20]

You're asking strangers if you should be upset? If you can't rationalize how you should behave and react for yourself then you're gonna fail a lot at life. You need a therapist, there's nothing we can do on this one. You can't expect other people to know what's best for you, that's for you to know

[oh_k789]

It's transparent that you have no wish to know his friends better, or socially integrate with them more. Which is at least as legitimate of anything on your side.

The issue then becomes, what's your boyfriend's viewpoint on the issue? (What may happen between he and you due to this issue.)

[Gordyshore]

You are dating your boyfriend and not his friends. Often times men and women think their partner has to relate to their friends, and the truth is they don't. When you got into a relationship with him; you didn't sign up to date his boys.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Sorry to hear that, but what’s your question? How can we help? Do you need advice?

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

You have every right to be upset by this, but there’s nothing you can do to really “change” who you are. I think you should talk to your boyfriends first and foremost about how you’re feeling about this. I think it’s important.
You could make an effort. Try and make an effort in being engaged in conversation.

[crmoore]

I don't actually have any advice for you, but this is very likely to be the case with me, the girl I end up with, and my friends. So just know this isn't a bad thing, it's just how it is sometimes with conflicting social dynamics.

[artstatues]

I don't understand what's the question, but I guess talk to your boyfriend about it

[Iron_Man]

That sounds like a Miss match but you’re not dating the group you’re dating the boyfriend

[PrettyPriya]

What is the question you'd like us to answer?

[Asker]

I don’t know if I should be upset by this…some people are telling me that It doesn’t matter what they think and I agree, but they didn’t even try to know me before forming an opinion. I just don’t know if I should even make an effort when I do see them for them to get to know me anymore

[PrettyPriya]

@Cupcakes11 Well, you have to look at it this way, you have some choices. You can talk to your boyfriend about why they think that and try to make a change around his friends, or you can tell him you are who you are and that is too bad they don't like the way you act in the group.

You shouldn't be expected to change the type of person you are. However, you could make some adjustments like trying to get more involved in conversation. Now, they may have formed the opinion and won't budge.

I would talk to him about this in a positive way and see if there isn't a reasonable resolution, including him communicating to his friends that you aren't trying to be standoffish but that is your personality when in a group.