Boyfriends friends hate me so much. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I got into an argument with my boyfriend of two years and for new years eve we had plans to go to a party with his friends. I told him i didn't feel like going anymore but that he could go. He said "no I am going to come over so that we can fix things." I felt bad about doing that so I surprised him by showing up on his doorstep saying "lets just forget the fight and have fun with friends for the new years." However, when we got to his friends house. He saw me and said "dude, she's not welcomed here." I was so embarrassed. We left, and he sent them a message calling them "fu***** pricks. He took me out to a bar and did try to make up for it. I asked why they behaved that way; and he said he vented to them about how we have been arguing a lot lately. Later on, he asked me to respond to a text; and i saw another message from his other friend whom i liked a lot saying "BROO STOP DONT LEAVE WITH HER! DONT BE STUPID." I read earlier messages with him that said "brooo you got thisss. Dont fall for the enemy." I asked my boyfriend what is this? He said I don't know my other friends must of told him about our fight. I didn't really believe him. It looks to me that all of my boyfriends friends want him to dump me, and i can't for the life of me understand why. Yes we had a fight, but I have also been a great girlfriend; and I've known these people for TWO YEARS. Yes i said awful mean things, but he said mean things too! i dont know what to do because how can you be with someone when their friends hate you? and i also dont know if i should be mad at my boyfriend?

[sejla]

I don't think this is too uncommon when people vent to their friends. it happens with women too. I had a friend who vented about her husband. I didn't realize but it started to affect how I treated him. I was at their house one time and he said something like go get that to his wife and I said do it yourself or something. He looked at me and basically asked why I was treating him that way and then she said something. I got thrown under the bus by my then female friend. What she had been telling affected how I perceived him.

Your boyfriend can either find a therapist to talk to instead of his friends or he can tell his friends not to treat you poorly or maybe your relationship is winding down. Maybe the two of you aren't a good fit right now.. Go see a therapist and see if there is something you could be doing different.

Also, who men surround themselves can be negative or positive. A guy's friend can be the ones who give him good advice and if the guy is wrong they will tell him hey dude you are being stupid. The other type of friends will say hey dude why do you put up with that woman and you are too good for her no matter if the guy is right or wrong. A man's friend circle is a very big part of his life.

[Anonymous]

This is partly his fault for being immature about it and partly yours for awful things you said.

Its a 2 year relationship. And tbh, his friends reaction sort of gives the impression that it was not the first time. Maybe you have had some small small issues here and there that they didn't like. And when this happened, they were like "there it is. The moment we all dreaded will come. She is showing her true colors".

And you may know then for 2 years, they know their friend longer. And it's same as in family, not all of his family members are gonna adore you. But you thinking that he is expendable enough to just leave because his friends don't approve of you is alarming.

I won't wanna be with someone who doesn't wanna be with me as much as I wanna be with them. Your current state of mind says something opposite.

[AllGirlsAreBeautiful]

Change boyfriend if he is influenced by his friend

[Kelviiiiiiiiiiin]

Have sex with him