Is it cheating if I talk to another guy while I have a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

So I have a boyfriend and I really love him, and I have never cheated on him, but recently a guy started to text me, we initially talked about politics and stuff like that and just shared something about our personal lives, but later on, he told me he likes me etc, I told him that I consider him as a friend, but we still talk, I never consider him anything more than a friend as I love my boyfriend, but I'm feeling guilty these days, I didn't tell about this to my boyfriend because I'm scared if he will lose his trust on me, I don't want to cheat on him ever and I don't want him to lose his trust, am I cheating on my boyfriend?

[ohshee]

Not at the moment your not but I think your starting to have a deep connection an type of emotional connection with this guy on the phone or on text you and you're starting to feel a little guilty about it I can tell you this
This is going to happen to you probably a lot in life there's always going to be somebody that you find interesting that you get along with and you become very close I have a lot of friends that are girls did art that way with me I mean we do a lot of things together but I'm also single and we don't have sex or anything like that we do flirt a little bit or I guess I should say we become smart asses to each other in a very sexual type of way
I have been single for the last past year year-and-a-half and I talked to girls in this and that but this is what always happens I will find the girl that I'm very interested in I will start dating her and that's when all these other girls start coming around and I have to say sorry but I'm in a relationship now my friends are my friends we will always be friends and my girlfriend will have to understand that and once she gets to know me completely she will also know that she has nothing to worry about did I am loyal and only hers

But I hear what you're saying we have all gone through it I don't think that you're cheating I think that you have a friend a close friend a good friend that you guys can talk about anything about and that is a very beautiful thing

And you don't quite have that with your boyfriend not at the depth and level that you do with this other guy that's why you feel like you're cheating

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this, you literally put my situation into words, yes, my boyfriend is quite busy these days (however that doesn't mean I'd take that as an opportunity to cheat on him), so the last week and the one before it, this guy has been constantly texting me and I also happen to share what I'm upto etc, while I only just see him as a friend , I don't have any feelings towards this guy, I love him only and only as a friend and I've made it very clear to him, I love my boyfriend I don't want to cheat on him. But I've been feeling guilty because I didn't tell about this guy to my boyfriend (because I'm scared what he would think). This thought has been constantly haunting me and I don't know what to do, I was thinking about blocking this guy but he's very nice to me and he agreed to be my friend as well when I I him that I am not really interested to be anything more than friends. Most of the people here says that I'm cheating but I'm really not. I was really confused and your answer really helped me. Thanks a lot

[SlothySlob]

Depends on what and how the two of you chat.
Depends what kind of relationship you have with your boyfriend (trust issues, etc.)
Both of you need to understand that either of you can have any kind of friend. Opposite sex, naturally flirtatious, a mind constantly in the gutter... these kinds of people exist. You need to know your boundary, you must know your boyfriend's boundary, respect each other's boundary.

You have two options, realistically. You can tell your boyfriend and show what kind of a relationship you have with this guy, or be quiet and wallow in regret. Eventually your boyfriend will know about this.

[Raphaëlle]

Tell your boyfriend about this because it's better to be honest from the start. If your friend likes you, and you've told him that you don't then it should be fine. But don't encourage him in any way.

[Asker]

Yes I never encouraged him, because I made it clear that we can only be friends. Yes I'm thinking about telling my boyfriend about this guy.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

It’s cheating if you do something behind your partners back that can cause distrust or is crossing boundaries. Tell your boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

I'd have to know you to be able to answer that. I mean you acknowledge that the guy admitted he likes you. You at least assume that's a precursor to him asking you out and you replied that you think of him "as a friend" so you did make it clear your stance. But seemingly knowing he has deeper interest in you you're still talking to the guy. And you feel guilty enough to not to tell your boyfriend about it.
So to me it's pretty clear. You like his attention. You're doing what your gender likes to call "emotional cheating". You don't want to actually cheat, but you want to continue to bask in this guys attention.
So in summary what does your heart tell you?

[spartan55]

To answer your question ask yourself how you would feel if your boyfriend were doing the same thing to you.
A few other things: who is the guy? how do you know him? why did he have your number? The instant that guy told he liked you he should have been cut off. Spare me the 'friends' nonsense too. You know he likes yet you still talk to him. Not cool.

[NZGirl07]

I think talking to the guy in the first place is a little strange, but after he told you he liked you you should have cut it off. Be honest with your boyfriend, relationship are about transparency and full trust.

[Asker]

I actually cut it off, I told him that I can only be a friend because I love someone.

[In_Trance]

Depends what your intentions are. Does your boyfriend know this guy?
Could your boyfriend listen in on a conversation and have no issue with it/

[Asker]

No he doesn't know.
My boyfriend is quite possessive about me. So I'm not sure how he will react.

[In_Trance]

I think that tells you all you need to know

[Asker]

Please tell me wgat you think, I just need some advice

[In_Trance]

I think you need to stop talking to other guys.
Put yourself in your boyfriend shoes; how would you feel if he was talking to another girl. She tells him she likes him.
The fact that you keep talking tells him he still has a chance.

[Asker]

Okay thank you. You're right. I didn't want to give up on him because I only see him as a friend.

[In_Trance]

good luck

[billmunch]

Personally, I would be okay if me SO has sex with other guys, so just talking is nothing.

[Anonymous]

Consider the love that the other guy can offer you. cheating isn't such a big deal yk. unless you get caught.

[Danny_dan92]

If the guy is clearly trynna get in your pants? Yeah, I think so

[Anonymous]

You're feeling guilty for a reason. Think about it.

[Guy__]

What's scary about letting boyfriend know?

[Asker]

Maybe he will think I'm cheating.

[Guy__]

No, it'll mean the opposite. If you cheated you'd never tell him.

[Asker]

I've not cheated, this guy tried to tell me that he likes me etc but I shut him down and I told him that I just want to be his friend. I have not cheated on my boyfriend.

[Guy__]

I know, you already said that. So you shouldn't be as scared as if you cheated.

[Asker]

I don't know what you mean. But thanks anyway

[Guy__]

If needed show your boyfriend screenshots

[Guy__]

Of the texts you're receiving

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm now thinking about telling him. Screenshots are a lot because I've talked to him quite long but most of its about politics, religion, etc.

[Guy__]

Whatever works, there is 0 need for fear.

[Asker]

Thank you for your time

[Wise4myage]

So you gave this guy your number? Wtf?

[Asker]

Yes. But my intention was not to cheat

[Wise4myage]

Rigghht.

[Asker]

Hmm?

[Wise4myage]

I don't believe you, and I bet your boyfriend wouldn't either.

[Asker]

Judging a lot, lol. Alright.

[Zenit93]

Drop that relationship. It’s clearly a threat.

[JoyGirl]

Tell your bf…

[SignedAutographs]

Yes, it is