Boyfriend has commitment issues or does he just not like me?

[Anonymous]

So after being together for 7 months my boyfriend which I say loosely has not ever officially asked me out. I came over last night to express my concern and how I haven’t felt cared about lately. He told me that he didn’t know if he could be with me because my insecurities are too much for him. He said he’s going home for the summer and that he won’t see me, I offered to visit and he just shrugged. He told me he has issues and he’s not capable of feeling love or anything for anyone. So then I tried to leave when he begged me to stay and told me he could learn to love. This has me conflicted. I know if he didn’t care he would of let me leave and he told me he can feel things for me but how can I believe that? I love him and want it to work but how can I be with someone who is emotionless. I know everyone expresses themselves differently and if something ever did happen he would be shattered. I just don’t know what to do.

[BraveRiver]

Walk away. I did this in my earlier life, I didn’t want a relationship and I also didn’t want to hurt someone. I’d say what I wanted and when it wasn’t accepted I’d backpedal to make someone else feel better thinking I was being nice …. In reality I was making it worse and creating drama.

Later in life I realized to accept what it is. I enjoyed the relationship for what it was, when/if things changed and we were no longer on the same page it was time to move on and keep it clean. No fault of anyone, just in different places in life looking for different things.

Enjoy what it is on mutual understanding, if your needs change and the others haven’t accept it, smile, be thankful for the good experience and move on.

Timing in relationships is just as important as connection.

[Honesttguy]

His manipulating you let that be clear. Make decision of what you want, cus he won't. The end, any more questions?

[PrettyPriya]

He doesn't know what he wants. Sounds like he is conveniently wanting you when you leave but doesn't care to commit when you are there.

Honestly, it is a sign of immaturity from your description. If me, I would cut ties with this one. Just ask yourself one question: will this ever change? The answer is going to be no and you will be fighting this issue another 7 months from now.

[Asker]

That’s exactly how I feel. It’s not like he talks to other women so I guess in a sense he is committed to me but something is holding him back from asking. He’ll talk about getting married and having kids when we are older but won’t ask me to be his girlfriend

[PrettyPriya]

I feel for you. I'm sure you put forth the effort and care and got nothing in return. This is one I would personally move on from. That isn't easy to do, but I don't see what you have to gain if he can't make the simple commitment to be exclusive after 7 months.

I guess it comes back to asking yourself questions. Like, why can't he? What possibly does he have to lose by saying you are his girlfriend? Those are tough to answer/justify.

[WhitneySnow]

He has real problems expressing his feelings. Maybe you guys should get counseling.

[Pyrofox]

What a effing narcistic thing to say to you. It takes you leaving for him to give a damn. Kick him to the road and find someone who will actually love you.

[spartan55]

He sounds like a wishy washy slug. You can do better.

[lofii]

Don't get too comfortable

https://www.youtube.com/embed/wPhs_tPENDQ

[DARKCLOUD1945X]

Say bye bye you're looking at pure trouble sound like he is a little unstable watch your back

[Wise4myage]

My guess is he has commitment issues, so why waste any more time on him?

[VoteForLarryHussey]

This guy seems to have low testosterone. T is the hormone that brings people together.

[Iron_Man]

What are you going to do

[Jltakk]

How long have you known this guy?