Is it awkward to invite your boyfriend/girlfriend as a +1 to wedding?

[Anonymous]

Is it awkward to invite your boyfriend/girlfriend as a +1 to wedding if invitation states that you can bring significant other?

One of my cousins invited me to his wedding. From what I heard, they were married during COVID time, have a wedding ceremony coming up. I had met his wife once over a "catch up" dinner, but neither of them have met my boyfriend. It means that it will be the day when my uncle, aunt, and all my other cousins will meet my boyfriend.

With my particular situation, and generally speaking, is it awkward to bring a boyfriend to a wedding?

I don't know if people expect that the person who attends a wedding with a boyfriend/girlfriend means they will have their own wedding too in the future? And does it mean that I will have to invite the people who invited me to their weddings when I get marry?

Updates

+1 y

To clarify, my question was, if I it would be awkward to bring my boyfriend, or to NOT bring him and go by myself? Since I suppose not everyone who has an SO brings him/her? Thank you.

Updates

+1 y

Also: If you bring an SO to a wedding, does it mean that everyone who's met him/her at the wedding expect you two to get married in the future? Since relationship can be unpredictable. People can say they love and want to marry each other, but I only have control over my actions.

[Lliam]

It's perfectly fine. You're overthinking this.

You're allowed to have a boyfriend and to even invite him to family functions. I did that with girlfriends all the time, beginning at age 16. It's nice to have a date with you. Plus, it shows that you are growing up and aren't gay.

People can think what they want. Naturally there are those who want you to eventually get married, and there may even be jokes or speculation about when you and the guy are going to tie the knot. But the idea of them assuming that you're going to marry a guy just because he's your date is ridiculous. That's your business, not theirs. As you said, you can't predict the future.

[Asker]

I see. I understand what you said, and that makes sense.

[Twalli]

I don't think you need to invite anyone you don't want to, to your wedding. It's your wedding, and, ultimately, your own choice. My girlfriend invited me as her +1 to her cousin's wedding. They got married on December 31, 2019 and I had only met her cousin and his wife once before the wedding. Funnily enough they were the only couple I know of to have been married in 2 years and 2 decades in under 24 hours.

[Asker]

I think your situation with your girlfriend inviting you to her cousin's wedding was similar to mine (except I'm in her situation) so I think it is fine to invite my boyfriend to my cousin's wedding 🤔

[Twalli]

It is. It doesn't even matter if he lasts. There are people who have dating profiles for a wedding date.

[Asker]

Oh wow I didn't know people do that... The invitation did say "significant other" though... I could probably ask my sister and a nice guy I know if they would want to attend the wedding together 😄

[Dburns1268]

I guess it depends if he wants to go and if he feels comfortable. I really think u r overthinking what people will think. I have a HUGE family and never, not even once, have I expected my cousins to marry the person they brought. Anyway, who gives a flying fuck what they think!! Go and enjoy!!!

[Emiliamazing]

I went to several weddings with the man who is now my husband, as his girlfriend. Not a big deal. We both have been to weddings with our previous significant others we obviously didn’t marry. Go and enjoy yourself and be happy. That’s what weddings are all about :-)

[Asker]

Thank you!! I feel that I make sense and I'm understood by reading your sentences after the first.

That's what I need to hear from a person, so I know that the situation I'm worried about, could and does happen, and it would be no big deal.

[Emiliamazing]

There is always this aura of weddings that makes you feel like the relationship you’re in or the date that you are breathing is a little more special, but it in no way means that you were planning on marrying them. You’re there to celebrate those who are choosing to get married. I can’t recall a wedding that I ever disliked going to are being part of. I’m pretty sure my hubby always enjoyed them as well. We just enjoyed ours the most :-)

[Asker]

But there were weddings which you attended with another man who was not your husband in the present right? It's normal to bring an SO who may or may not end up being the person you married to?

I'm asking because I know how I think and what I want, but I can't control another person's mind and actions. He can say that he loves me and I can tell, but nobody knows what will happen in a year or two.

[Emiliamazing]

Sorry for the gray area. I haven’t ever been to a wedding with anyone but my husband since we’ve been married. I’ve been to weddings prior to ever meeting him with other dates.

[Emiliamazing]

There is definitely no reason for anyone to think that your date to a wedding is going to be who you marry though.

[Asker]

Yes, I mean before you were married to your husband and were in a relationship with him, you had attended weddings with your ex boyfriend (s)?

I just thought that your reply regarding how you enjoyed the weddings you have attended with your husband, turned your initial response the opposite. I thought you did answer my concern initially, but was confused by your second response after your initial one.

[Emiliamazing]

Totally took dates to other weddings prior to ever meeting the man who became my husband

[Whatthefluff]

I wouldn't overthink it. You're allowed to bring a guest.

[DaveJord]

"invitation states that you can bring significant other"

No I do not think it should be awkward sense the invitation said you could, but depending on if they are paying by the plate for guests and ask for you to RSVP, if they did not ask for you to RSVP then you should be fine. Still if you have any doubts then you should just ask your cousin if its okay and go from there.

[Asker]

How would I ask my cousin if it'll be awkward for him to meet my boyfriend? I think that would make it very very awkward... 🙈

[Asker]

It's a general statement that's sent to everyone, since my sister told me that invitation said that she could bring significant other (from what I know, she doesn't have one, or not a serious one, or I just don't know) but the statement is still on her invitation.

[DaveJord]

Well if you are not ready to introduce your boyfriend to the family and you feel weird just asking your cousin about it then I would assume your not in a good place to bring your boyfriend with you. You sound to self conscious about it and it would be a bad thing to expose your boyfriend to if you can't relax about it.

[Asker]

But what kind of question would I ask my cousin? "Should I bring my boyfriend to meet your family?" I think that would be pretty awkward if I'm already asking whether it would be awkward for my boyfriend to meet my relatives (including this cousin whom this question would be asked).

[Asker]

It's not because I'm not "ready" to introduce my boyfriend to my relatives. It's that this will be the first time they will all meet and be introduced, at one of my cousin's wedding.

I'm not very close to my cousins. We used to talk more when we lived together 10 years ago (temporarily), but once we move out we pretty much talked when our families saw each other at special occasions. I do text my cousins to congratulate them when I saw their posts on social media for graduations, wish them happy birthday, etc, but any interpersonal relation is two-way. Sometimes things between parents get involved, people have different personalities, etc. Some people are close to their cousins, or siblings, some are not.

I think out of all my cousins, I'm closeR to this one, but overall I'm not close to my cousins like some people are. I don't know if letting them, my uncle and aunt meet my boyfriend at a wedding would be awkward, or it's totally normal.

[DaveJord]

I would just ask if it is okay to bring a +1 with you and not make it about him being a boyfriend or anything and keep everything casual while your there with him and the family.

There is absolutely nothing awkward about wanting to bring a +1 to a wedding.

[Asker]

Yes I understand people can bring +1 if the invitation openly stated so, but my question is, of it's fine and totally normal to bring a boyfriend/girlfriend to a wedding as a plus one, or just not being and go alone, as from my research online, it seems that people are not "obligated" to bring their partners as +1 but I do want to attend my cousin's wedding with my boyfriend. I only want to make sure that's acceptable, with no potential expectations from others who will have met my boyfriend at the wedding.

Again, if I ended up marrying my current boyfriend, great, but a relationship involves two people, so at any point in time both people could love each other and are committed to building a future together, but nobody knows what would happen next year. I don't want my relatives to think he must be the one who will have with me our own wedding, because we attend a wedding (if that even makes sense?)

[DaveJord]

Yes its acceptable

[KrisPW]

No, there were no immediate expectations of a future marriage when I have brought my +1. But I admit that any boyfriend I was taking to a family event would be someone that I could see myself marrying some day. But there was no awkwardness or expectations from others.

[peedy]

No thats what you suppose to do, your family and friends do that shit on purpose so they can see/ meet who your are dating and than they bombard you with :so when are you two getting married"
Its one big damn conspiracy lol lol lol

[Asker]

I have thought of the same, that it's about my relatives seeing whom I'm in a relationship with 😄 but when my cousin sent the invitation (images) he included in text to my sister (as she had told me, not that I asked) that she could bring her significant other, and she doesn't have one now (as far as I know, unless I'm missing out on info 😄) so I don't know if that was a general statement, or just to my sister and me.

[Asker]

Yes and I could see the "When are you two getting married" question being asked.

[one1wild00]

Take him with you the only thing I'd recommend is to have a discussion with your boyfriend of agreed upon good answers prepared for the inevitable questions that will undoubtedly be asked. examples: How long have you been together? are you planning on getting married? when are you having kids? This is my________? etc.

[MysteriousDarkness]

You got an invitation to your cousin's wedding and it says +1. You have a boyfriend so there is your +1. Nothing awkward about it.
You are making it a way bigger issue than it is. If you don't bring your boyfriend it could possibly make him feel like he's not good enough. Boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance/fiancée (did not know the person was engaged) are a typical plus one. Get over your worries and just take him with you to the wedding.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I shouldn't be awkward at all. You were asked to bring a plus one and you are fulfilling that request. You could break up a day after, or you could end up spending 50 years with the guy.. Who knows?

Hope you both have a great time.

[NotYourCinderella]

Why would this be awkward? Going to a wedding where the couple says bringing your partner is okay is fine. Enjoy the day.

[kinggeorge007]

It depends on the culture and how close are you to the wedding couple, how well the boyfriend/girlfriend knows your family. There are so many variables.

[Asker]

Yes, I agree. That's why I thought the way I did, if it would be awkward 🤔

[Asker]

My boyfriend isn't there to meet my "family" though. My sister who's going to the wedding, and I have not been very close to our cousins like some people are, so we're not like "family" but more relatives, since we're not that close, I don't tell my cousins whenever I'm in a relationship, just as they don't tell us when they're in relationships or break up, or graduate from a program or with a degree. I find out via social media.

Last year I contacted my cousins from this relative family, since most of them are in healthcare. I asked them if they needed COVID vaccines since my job were providing them (I'm a healthcare worker). Months after that, my cousin contacted me to "catch up." That was when I saw this cousin (who's having this wedding ceremony) and his wife (they had married a few months prior) over a dinner. It was a relative catch up so I didn't bring my boyfriend to that meal.

[kinggeorge007]

From what you've said I take it as it's not really a very close connection and the family isn't familiar with your boyfriend either. I think bringing him would be a bit over the top action. So I'd be cautious about it. I don't know how your culture sees it though.

[Asker]

My uncle and aunt were not born in the U. S. but 4 of my cousins all were. I know one of my cousins (female) had a boyfriend whom they did not end up being together after a few years, so I assume it should be "normal" that being in a relationship does not automatically mean that a couple is marrying soon

[Asker]

I mean based on the history of this cousin, I assume it should be known by my relatives that's how relationship is. A relationship is a relationship. Two people can be madly in love but the next day can go separate ways.

If it was my parents, that would be different, but my boyfriend had met my mom and one sister (my dad is not local) and that's another long story not related to this topic (haha).

[Asker]

Sorry, it looks like GaG doesn't allow me to select more Most Helpful Opinions after the system had selected some. I would've selected you as one of the MHOs.

[kinggeorge007]

Hey it's alright. Saying that itself made me feel better. So have you made decision?

[SmokyOne]

I think I'd be kinda upset if I didn't at least get asked to go 🙃
The thought brought back a few insecurities I had thought I'd moved passed. Awesome. Lol

[Asker]

Let the past be the past. I want to attend my cousin's wedding with my boyfriend. I just wanted to make sure that it would be appropriate.

[IveGotNoName]

Nah, I'm bringing my boyfriend to a wedding soon. He has met most of my family, but certainly not everyone I know at the wedding and it won't be awkward because the focus will be far from us.

[Razp_Sorbet]

No it's fine if you're comfortable with that being how everyone meets him. As for the rest I think you're over thinking it a tad. I don't think there will be any expectations.

[Emilyis]

NO did that a few times when I was in college and my soon to be husband was my +1.

[Asker]

But with your situation, you are marrying the man you attended other people's weddings with. My question is, would it be awkward to bring boyfriend to a wedding, period, with no indication of whether he will become a fiance or husband.

[Emilyis]

My answer would still be no. I honestly don't know any girl who would want to go to a wedding as a single. I would want someone to dance with and have a table partner that I could engage in conversation.

[Asker]

Umm, my sister will be there, so I won't be "alone" if I was to go without my boyfriend, and my reason for wanting to bring him is because I want him to attend this special occasion with me, and want to show him off a little (not like getting everyone's attention, but just to "show him off" by having his presence with me). I just don't want my relatives to think that we are definitely marrying since we attend somebody else's wedding together (if that's even a thing?)

[annabananna]

No, that’s usually who people with a boyfriend will bring to a wedding as their plus one. What is making you think it’s be awkward?

[Asker]

I didn't mean that I will bring another person. I was asking if I should go without my boyfriend as a plus one?

[annabananna]

I think it would be nice to have him there for it.

[Asker]

I agree. I would like my boyfriend to attend this special occasion with me. I feel honored to be invited to my cousin's wedding, since we're not really close cousins like some people are to theirs, and I can imagine that when I get married, I wouldn't invite just anybody and everybody, so I feel that it's an honor to be invited to someone's wedding.

[SnakeBoop]

no. if the invitation says a plus one, then you can bring a plus one.
sort of duh?

[SnakeBoop]

No to your update. Just no.

[boggboss]

U are doing some crazy overthinking just invite your partner

[Fireguy17]

Nope, I've gone, great food, dancing, and you are a couple of drunk people away from a good night's entertainment.

[WhitneySnow]

It would not be awkward. You should bring him. Most people who go to weddings bring their SO.

[Drumlin2001]

If I were dating someone and they didn't ask me, without good reason, I would find it really odd.

[Anonymous]

No, that's fine. There are no set rules. If in doubt ask your cousin.

[Asker]

Ask my cousin if it would be awkward to bring my boyfriend to meet him and his family (my uncle, aunt and other cousins)? I feel that would be more awkward 😄

[Opinion Owner]

I meant you can ask if it is ok you invite someone they never met before.. I know a few people who will not like that. If he thinks it is fine then it should not be awkward, at least not for him and his wife, and that is afterall the most important people at the event. Maybe they will even make time to get to meet your boyfriend if the wedding is not so soon.