He respects me too much for sex?

[Anonymous]

so I’ve been friends with this guy for 5 years, we’ve always been really close/ like best friends/ but also flirty/ sexual chemistry flows etc. We have spoke a lot previously about us having sex, and he didn’t want too. Skip forwArd a few more months and we ended up alone, we kissed etc and nearly ended up sleeping together but he stopped. He’s always said he respects me too much to have sex with me, he didn’t have a normal childhood regarding sex, and has always seen sex as a dirty thing. He has a particular type of girl he would sleep with, someone not very attractive, over weight, not very pretty. He says he knows they aren’t attractive but he has sex with them once, then will rarely speak to them again. I’m worried he doesn’t find me attractive as I’m the opposite, not overly pretty but I do get a lot of attention. He’s always said I’m more of a long term thing than a one night thing, but he won’t allow anything to happen between us. Anyway, he says it’s not becus he doesn’t want too, he just respects me more than them, but I’m just so confused. I’m not sure if I’m what he wants or not.

[SueShe]

You should actually be happy that there is a man that respects a woman enough not to have sex with. This is something that is so rare nowadays that anyone that is in a relation with a person like that should appreciate that rarity.

Now, according to your bio, you are in the age group 45+ and sex should not really be a priority when meeting new people. You have passed the age where sex plays such an important role.

One can be very happy without sex. You can hold hands, kiss and cuddle. Those are moments that are just as precious and they are much less risky in terms of transmission of venereal diseases.

Enjoy the time while it lasts.

[MatteBlaxk]

Looks tricky. I don't even know which way to go with this one. Maybe he's looking for a long term relationship with ya? Or* he's not not interested. I mean, if he has one night stands with others, why not you? That's if you're okay with it? It's best if you ask him.

[Asker]

He says he doesn’t want a relationship at present; and neither do I. Even though we are pretty much in one without the sex, it’s still sexual
Just nothing physically happening. I said I’m ok with a one night thing, and that I want it. But he says he doesn’t want to feel like he’s used me, and says he values our friendship over sex, and me as a friend means more to him than sex as sex means nothing. It’s all very confusing for me, and we are very close and affectionate but he won’t have sex with me

[MatteBlaxk]

Hmm.. not really sure what to say about that. Maybe he does value friendship over sex. I mean, it feels weird when you around someone you had sex with tbh. I mean, no relationship nothing but you guys hook up. Feels awkward.

[Asker]

Yeh that’s exactly what he says, how can we talk as normal tomorrow after we’ve had sex. I dunno, I could. I think maybe he’s not interested in me like that, and just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings :/

[MatteBlaxk]

I guess he's a good guy. I mean after sex, it's weird cause I'd dip too. Lol. And they get hurt if I ghost em. That's how it works when one suddenly starts catching feelings after a one night stand.

[boggboss]

U pretty much said it he has a negative association with sex and probobly attaches it to people clearly u want more then just sex so how about u speak up

[slatyb]

TL;DR He likes you but he's not sexually attracted to you.

[Twalli]

He doesn't want to settle down yet. If he likes you he doesn't want to be with you until he is ready to settle down.

[Anonymous]

Everybody's different. Some guys don't want a girlfriend so they just think sex is like watching tv and will sleep with women because they can. Some guys want a girlfriend so they don't have sex unless they are in a committed relationship first

[jjj101010]

Maybe he has fetishes and doesn’t want u to be degraded.

[Asker]

I think those kind of girls, he has a certain type of emotionless sex with. He says he won’t kiss them etc, then pretty much leaves soon after. I don’t think he’s used to, or comfortable having meaningful sex. He doesn’t know how to put affection into sex. So I guess we are hitting a brick wall lol.

[jjj101010]

Happy to chat if u want, I have had sex with a friend

[Wise4myage]

Sounds like he is being honest, so I say move on.

[SueShe]

you would prefer him to be dishonest?

[Wise4myage]

@SueShe No, of course not.