Why is he gentle with me with sex?

[Anonymous]

He has told me in the past he went full out leash and spanking. He has only lightly choked me and pulled my hair a little he barely spanks and is overall very gentle. I don’t get it

[NamerOfStars]

Because he doesn't want to hurt you, and probably thinks you're not into the rough stuff. Being into spanking and choking and whatnot doesn't mean you're a psychopath; it means you have a kink. If you want to try something more... vehement, let him know. If he's experienced with it, he'll probably want to start lightly and move up slowly, since he knows how both flesh and feelings can be hurt, and doesn't want that.

[spartan55]

Have you asked to be a little more rough?

[Asker]

I asked him to smack my ass. I have a bigger one do most guys have and he likes my ass. He did it maybe 4 times in a year

[spartan55]

So to tell him you want more. Wtf do you expect him to read your mind?

[Asker]

I did why are you swearing at me lmao we have healthy communication he just chooses to be gentle

[spartan55]

It's a phrase, I wasn't swearing at you.
You told him to spank your ass once and you feel that should be enough? How much have you truly discussed it with him?

[Asker]

It wasn’t only once it was a few times during sex and once I said he’s allowed to spank me outside of sex since he likes my ass

[spartan55]

Okay, whatever you have told him hasn't produced the result you want. You have 2 choices the way I see it. Either talk to him to him about it, and be clear/specific what you like, and what you want. OR do nothing and hope he gets some mind reading skills.
**if you do go the discussion route I highly recommend having it out of the bedroom and not during sex** Good luck!

[paradiseonearth93]

That’s just a guy having sex?

[SamFromFL]

You haven’t earned his trust

[Asker]

That’s a fair assessment

[SamFromFL]

Subs need to show their doms they can consistently follow them and what they say

[Asker]

I wouldn’t say he’s that far into it tho. They just used the leash he can be dominant but I wouldn’t say he’s exactly worthy of the Dom title and I don’t know if he wants it. Meaning he experiments but doesn’t label him self as a love for bdsm but isn't opposed to it either.

[SamFromFL]

He may have exaggerated about his past. If you asked for punishment and he isn’t granting your desires then he will need more encouragement and teasing

[Asker]

Well his passed ex liked it he’s the type to do what a woman pleases if that’s what they are into.

[SamFromFL]

What is your safe word?

[SamFromFL]

Because if you don’t have one then he will not push your boundaries

[Asker]

Oooooo that’s very true

[SamFromFL]

Ha ha, didn’t consider that did ya?

[In_Trance]

Is he a pussy?

[Asker]

I don't know his roommate said it’s cause he actually likes me ( not romantically but respect wise) but I don’t know how true that is

[In_Trance]

Well... good luck