Why do you think couples start to disrespect each other? Is it inevitable?

[Kkstarzz96]

I'm respectful with people I don't know but naturally with people I am close to, I might do something that is considered lazily caring for them it's not that I don't or I ignore them completely but I can be a brat for lack of a better word. If I don't get my way with them I might cry because I'm upset and forget how they might feel in those moments, and of course anyone would feel like they're not in the right relationship with me but I don't know how you would avoid this. I don't want to agree on everything or have exactly the same interests cause that would be typical and feel like they just live to please me but I also don't want to not show I'm upset if I truly am and still let them know that I care and I'm just a human. Guys go on to date other girls but I don't really know what could be different. Other than like, she may not even have time to disrespect him because he is not a priority to her. I will make time, but expect my mood to be different if we're talking all the time for so many months, eventually I'll go through something and would like support or want to do something together and expect him to be there because it'll be nice for us to be a couple in public not just alone all the time. I don't know what do you think

[ChrisOfTheAlienRace]

Relationships are definitely a learning experience.
Sometimes we don't realize how much of an impact our disagreements, and the way we handle them can affect the relationship long-term. If you lose your temper or say hurtful things in the heat of the moment it doesn't really ever get forgiven.
We all hang on to those insults and it can lead to both people resenting each other.
I understand now that relationships are more fragile than we think. They can only take so many arguments. It's very important to pick your battles carefully, and learn how to let most stuff go, as well as communicate better.

[Kkstarzz96]

I don't really remember too many things especially what I said, in a good way as well. People will tell me hilarious things I said or did but I don't remember but I believe them cause it sounds like me, once I let out a feeling, I have also let it go. I calm down very easily once I open up, it's when I'm not encouraged to say how I feel that things get very desperate for me. I would like my boyfriend or husband to feel like a safe place to be myself, and I've dated guys who are okay with my sense of humor, well 1, it was very nice, but the crying and the paragraphs of my concerns I think after so many times he lost hope that I was ever going to be emotionally stable. But I don't know cause I doubt someone can be the same mood for a long time, I do change my moods cause I experience new things and my feelings change. I also don't like to cry and have word vomit, but thats how I connect to people on a deeper level. I thought if we have sex then it should balance out, but not quite. So there lies my question, you can't outsex an emotionally messy relationship, so how do I avoid the mess of my feelings when I'm literally only talking to a guy cause I like the way he makes me feel

[ChrisOfTheAlienRace]

I was actually in a two year relationship with a woman who seemed very similar to your situation.
At first I loved that she needed my emotional support so much. I loved feeling needed and she was the opposite of my ex-wife who was always very closed off and secretive.
Over time I have to admit that I became very exhausted by her everyday work issues and crying, and always seeing the glass as half empty, rather than half full.
I started to feel frustrated like I was her emotional sponge that she would dump her problems on. She would put everything on me and bring me down constantly.
I think it's important to understand that venting to people regularly might feel good to you, but in reality they will start to get annoyed. Especially if they were having a good day, then all of the sudden they hear from you, and it's more of the same negativity. They want to be supportive, and be there for you when you're really in need, but if you do that too often they will eventually tire of it.
I hope I'm not offending you, I'm just trying to help you see it from the perspective of someone who gets tired of absorbing the problems of others. Empathy is a beautiful quality to find in a partner, but you don't want to over burden them because they will feel your pain, your frustrations and stress until they can't take it anymore.

[Kkstarzz96]

I felt that. The worst part is when I go to therapy, I only talk about the good things in my life. It's like a curse to have your emotions invested in someone that now you trust them the way I did, and I agree it does suck. Like I want to work on it but it will take a lot of time. I never talked about anything negative when I was a kid, it was when I hit puberty i saw the fault in everything, and it's hard to imagine that I once didn't see it that way. It's clearly a perspective though, I know it's not actual reality. I don't even follow the world's issues, it's just personal silly things. Omg one time I was about to have sex with someone, and I hadn't had sex in a long time and I started balling my eyes out and he said we don't have to if you don't want to and I'm sobbing shaking my head no I want to I just need a minute and it was like, the best sex I've ever had lmao. That's my thought process, if you listen to her, she will want to perform as a thank you. It's so twisted ugh

[ChrisOfTheAlienRace]

Yeah that woman I was with was very sexual as well, and it's possible that she used that as a currency to keep me listening to her.
I did love her, but I could tell that she enjoyed complaining to a certain degree. It was almost like a bad habit that she had formed because it got her attention possibly?
There's nothing wrong with being overly emotional like you, it's actually quite endearing, and way better than being with someone who's heartless.
However, you just gotta make an effort to think more positively about your everyday life if possible.
Positivity can be attractive, that's all I know.

[ChrisOfTheAlienRace]

Thanks for MHO, I hope the best for you. 🙂

[Lliam]

I suppose there can be many reasons why couples start to disrespect each other, but it's NOT inevitable. My wife and I have been married now for over 25 years and still love and respect each other more than ever. I know many couples like that who have been married much longer.

[genericname85]

relationships have conflicts. maybe it can get heated too sometimes. but if there's a clear lack of respect, i think that's a clear sign that they're not meant for another.

[worldscolide]

I have no idea.. Sometimes people grow apart. Sometimes neither partner put the work in.. I refuse to be like that with my wife.

[Kkstarzz96]

I would put in the work but that's also a problem guys do not like to say what I need to do they just distance themselves as if I can't be saved even if we've dated for a long time they would rather keep dating new people

[worldscolide]

I've seen what you're talking about.. Often times a man will in the beginning talk about what he needs, until it falls on deaf ears, or worse he is attacked for it.. Same thing happens to women though, some guys just do not care about how the other half is doing.

[Kkstarzz96]

I dont remember attacking someone for sharing their feelings with me but I do remember getting upset cause I would share my feelings and I felt like it was a waste of breath, I would tell people and theyd ask so what did say when you said that and I'm like it's as if I said nothing it's like he was ignoring me as I'm in front of him talking. I feel like they don't stand for anything, whatever goes for them they're neutral to everything just to avoid opening up or dealing with the problem. You said it perfectly though, I don't really know guys who are actively concerned with their partners well being. I like to believe I am but I think I see a problem and they don't so according to them, that area in their life is fine and I'm just starting things.

[slatyb]

If it's going to happen it will happen soon.