In love with my cousin. Should I tell her?

[Anonymous]

I am very close with my (female) cousin. it started when I was around 14 or 15 and she's 19. we would always be together and at one point we had a reunion and we were very sweet to each other. other relatives are noticing so we stopped it. I don't really mind since I don't view it as taboo. if you read around. the bible doesn't really say that it is forbidden. I think even isaac married his cousin and a bunch of other people including charles darwin. the problem with a bad pregnancy is only 2% higher than usual but its in our culture I guess that it is taboo. well anyway, I don't know if I should tell her I love her.theres only 1 girl I would marry right now and that is her. but I guess she sees it as taboo and I don't wanna ruin everything because we just got close again. we would hold hands when no one is around. id kiss her on the cheek but she wouldn't kiss me Because she's very conservative. but she holds me when we walk and we are back to being sweet again. but I don't know how to tell if she sees me only as a little brother or could she see me as something more. should I tell her even though I thinkk that she views it as taboo just to let her know how I feel?

Updates

+1 y

btw I'm 21 now and she's going to be 25...

[Anonymous]

You are both adults and although she's conserative I think she would still be understanding.

You said you would be ready to marry her which is a huge step and you should not even be thinking about that really because you two never actually dated so you don't know what she's like as a girlfriend.

Considering you're going to be thinking about this anyway I think it would be wise to be honest with her about your feelings with her.

Do NOT shock her with the ' I love you and I want to marry you ! ' stuff... that will for sure freak her out, independant of her being conservative or not.. ask her if she would consider being more than cousins with you, perhaps you could start seeing each other as more than that. She could answer ' no, we absolutely cannot because it is against my morals' - at that point you would say: ' I understand ' and you give her space and respect.

If she agrees to seeing you as more than a cousin then you could proceed with bettering your relationship as such but do NOT break down in front of her if she decides to remain ' just cousinly ' with you because that is when things get creepy.

And of course I advise you to stay away from her if she says she doesn't want to be in a relationship of some sort with you at least for a while in order for you to forget about her and stop seeing her that way.

[Animal_Girl]

You say she's conservative, thinks that it's taboo to be with your cousin, and doesn't show any signs of her feeling the same way, like kissing you? I'd advise you not to say anything. It's more than just a random girl, it's your cousin - if she doesn't feel the same way, and from what you described she doesn't, it might get out to your family, and that might be a hard thing to get over - you or her.

My advice is to try to find a girlfriend who isn't a member of your family. If you really must tell her, try testing the water first, like asking what she thinks of places that make it illegal for cousins to marry, or did she know Charles Darwin married his cousin. See how she reacts. If it's negative, leave it alone. If it's positive, you might think about showing her your feelings. But I don't know if it's the best idea.

[Asker]

her answer was negative abt that. she is conservative after all but hopin that if she knew my feelings she might change her mind. highly unlikely but can't help it. and it feels like she likes me also with holding my hand kiss on the cheek and laying her head on my shoulder.always sittin beside me and stuff. but when we talk about it, it seems like she dsnt like it because of the culture we grew up in. but I don't know if there's a chance that she sees my point of view

[WashingtonLoveWizard]

Don't do it.

As a general rule, if you were to make a baby with someone and it is going to look like Quasimodo; it is a bad relationship in some way.

[Asker]

well as I've said the risk towards that is 2% higher than the normal couple. if she was willing to take the risk I will too, you know?

[moloz]

Man, I can only speculate how much trouble such a relationship would bring. If you say she's conservative, even more so.

[Asker]

true I guess I just have to suck it up

[Ibrake4rappers]

i mean if you really feel for her I say go for it. But dude, could you imagine the consequences of such a relationship? I think in some places its illegal to marry your cousin

[Asker]

consequences don't bother me since I'm willing to risk a bad pregnancy with only 2% higher rtisk rate. that ain't much to be able to spend your life with someone you love. with family members I don't really mind what they think as long as its for love id fight for anything. if there's no road then id pave one for the both of us if ever a relationship comes out of it. I doubt that she would think like me or feel the same love as I do. but why does she have to be so sweet to me and only me.

[Asker]

she never had a boyfriend and she has never held another guy's hand or kissed them or let them hold her. why does she have to hold my hand, lay her head on my shoulder and stuff like that if it meant nothing...uhhh I hate it

[AltTech]

She's your cousin, I wouldn't pursue it and I wouldn't say anything. Its far more than just taboo.

[Asker]

i guesss so its just hard to bottle something up. I've come across girlfriends and such that asked me abt marriage and I wouldn't marry any of them in a heartbeat but with my cousin I would here and now. especially I want to help her to get her papers. than just being stuck with petitioning for citizenship. that is only if she feels the same way for me... but I gues now that's out of the question

[Anonymous]

You’ve gotta face this and just talk w her.

Say something like, “Hey, it so nice that we’re close again, and I want to ask you how you feel about it.”
And then hear what she says, and judge her interest in you and take it from there.

[Happy_59]

Is she really pretty