Pregnant and boyfriend doesn’t want to work?

[Jessicajones4]

Hi I’m 5 months pregnant and my boyfriend isn’t working or looking. I brought it up and he says he’s just chilling and for me not to worry he’s going to look. But I don’t see him looking. We stay in the house all the time and he says it’s because I’m pregnant and don’t feel well. I’m getting sick of it because we live together and he doesn’t help with anything financially. Which means I can’t save and don’t have any money for myself. I need things like new clothes and when I brought it up his response was so it’s my fault? Got upset and left.

Updates

+1 y

He has two other children from a previous relationship so he’s aware of what having a child entails.

[WindAtMyBack]

He's lying about looking for work. Maybe he applied for a job on occasion, but he's not seriously looking.

I could blame you for having sex with someone you should have known well enough to know if he'd be responsible. I could even blame you for getting pregnant.

But what good does pointing fingers do? It doesn't do any good at all. You are pregnant. So what now?

Ideally you should try to make it work with him. I have to address this to you because he's not here, and you are. Pointing fingers at him doesn't do any good. You can only control your own actions, not his.

I don't have a good answer. Ideally this should not have happened, but it did. The only answer I can give is to TRY to make it work with him. Try to talk with him calmly and rationally. Try to appeal to his sense of responsibility WITHOUT blaming and pointing fingers.

This is not a time to be confrontational. Maybe he will come around. But if you are confrontational it will more likely drive him away.

[Jessicajones4]

Your right he’s not seriously looking , when we first met he was out of work for an accident on the job , he’s fine now though and hasn’t gone back , but yes I do need to be calm which I have a problem with and does drive him away , I want to make it work I’m just frustrated and extremely emotional right now.

[WindAtMyBack]

I got my girlfriend pregnant. Neither one of us were ready for it. Not even close.

I was not ready to be a father. I was not emotionally ready to deal with being a father. I was not emotionally mature enough to deal with her and what she was going through. Both of us were basically in a panic.

My 65 year old self is able to look back at it objectively. My 25 year old self was not able to do that, and I would not expect him to.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say to you. I suppose I'm saying I've been there, or at least close enough. I'm also saying that I do not expect my 25 year old self to be the same as my 65 year old self - and neither should you.

It's perfectly normal for you to be emotional. That's not a fault. It might get in the way, but it's not a fault. :)

He's emotional too. In a different way than you are, but still emotional about something he has no experience dealing with.

Hold your head up. You ARE strong enough. You WILL come through this, just like millions have come through it in the past.

[Jessicajones4]

❤️Thank you for your encouragement

[ImNoOne111]

Tell him to quit this bullshit and act like a man. You are pregnant and you are working? For fucks sake! You gotta be resting right now. Besides, he needs to work, even if he is rich, why? Because the child needs to learn hardworkship from him, not you. Seriously the guy got me quite mad, he really needs to get the fuck up and find a job

[Jessicajones4]

Yes I’m working

[SueShe]

Unfortunately, your future does not look bright at all.

If he does not want to work now when you need the financial help the most, he is not going to work later either and will always find an excuse not to work. He will end living off the hooks of society and the tax payer will have to finance his laziness.

It is none of my business but you are much better off without him because you will have enough on your hands when your baby is born without having to support another baby and his laziness.

Not only is he a burden to you but his failure to act as a responsible person will also impact on the future of your child.

[Jessicajones4]

Thank you just wanted to hear from and outside source

[SueShe]

Hope that a miracle takes place and he sees the light. All the best for you and your (future) baby :-)

[Jessicajones4]

Lol @mircle and thanks

[dustybiker]

You’re allowing it. Why are you supporting him?
If he had to support himself he’d have some idea the effort it will take to pay for his child in addition. Make him get his own place as a learning experience.

[dustybiker]

If anything you’ll get him out early. You don’t need two children.

[jammcm]

Read what you just said. You are supporting him while he "chilling". I know it is hard being pregnant but unless YOU make a change nothing will change. Move on or just keep chilling with your dead beat boyfriend. Hope you have a better life. Give that baby a hug for me when it comes my friend.

[Seinna]

I'm afriad the only help you'll get from him is alimony... my guess though is he doesn't even pay it for his other kids. That's why women need to be extremely careful and selective of who they chose to have sex with.

[jshm2]

You got knocked up by a lazy deadbeat and are starting to realise why most go single mom.

It's bad enough the baby is leeching off you to grow, but your partner is basically doing the same.

[exitseven]

Get an attorney and make sure he pays child support after you boot his lazy ass out the door.

[nawtee_me]

Sounds like a deadbeat dad to me... Cut your losses and find someone else. You deserve better...

[jahaims]

Should have picked a better father for your child. Not much you can do unless you get him to change his perspective and mature.

[Anonymous]

Abort!
Its A recipe for a disaster! Nothing good will come out of it.

[Anonymous]

he busted all kinds deep inside you. You got his baby. Im sure you’ll do fine.

[Anonymous]

Cut your lossses and claim ailmony if he don't pay they'll take his kidney away

[JoyGirl]

He sounds like a bad apple. 😅

[JoyGirl]

It won’t work if he doesn’t want to communicate and work things out.
You need to prioritize you and your baby, rn.

[weirdoweirdo]

I hope it's not his kid...

[Jessicajones4]

It is

[weirdoweirdo]

Im sorry then. All I can say is that he won't magically become better when or if that child is born. So make your decision carefully. He doesn't seem like a stand up man. You'll probably be burdened with all the heavy lifting and caring of the baby.

[Jessicajones4]

Thanks for the input

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you're pregnant with his child.

[Anonymous]

In the words of Bill Engvall " Here's your sign".

[Telekinetic-Potato]

What a loser

[Iron_Man]

He better

[Jessicajones4]

I’m trying to be patient but my patience is running thin

[Iron_Man]

I’m so sorry to hear that