Is pure passionate love total BS?

[Anonymous]

You really think they were the love of your life, your soulmate, etc. Then it turns out, they were using you (for years) the whole time.

All of the sudden, all that passionate love you had for them turns into hatred. You find them so disgusting that you wish they got run over by a car. In your eyes, they became an ugly monster. If you can go from one extreme feeling to other then is pure passionate love BS?

I'm reading there has to be more compassionate love and it's slowly built, not just passionate love that fades.

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

Then once you start disliking or hating them, you realize you had nothing in common with that person, no common interest, no real common goals, no nothing... but stupid passion.

[JHNS98]

How would I know? I don't even know what [romantic] love is in the first place.

[Asker]

It usually starts off as attraction and then you start fantasizing about them too much. It's not real though. It's just chemicals in the brain.

[JHNS98]

You're describing infatuation, not love. I have experienced infatuation many times before, but I don't know if I've ever been in love. Besides, what does "real" mean?

[Asker]

yes and many people confused infatuation and lust for love. Remove that and the relationship is the equivalent of building a house with straws and sticks that get destroyed any time. Then you realize you shared nothing in common with them, have no timeframe established for important things besides passion and it's a dead-end going nowhere.

[Subarugirl]

It’s just hormone, love is a choice, infatuation and lust are chemical

[Asker]

yeah and then once someone is fully awaken from those chemicals... you feel like laughing at yourself and thinking ''omg, how did I wasted too much time on this stupid person; we had absolutely nothing in common the whole time, not even interesting topics to talk about''

[Subarugirl]

Those chemical are actually really important in establishing romantic relationships

[Asker]

What's the use of ''the butterflies in your stomach and passionate love'' if the person never wanted a family with you (even lied about wanting it)? All that ''you're my soulmate, my love of my life'' thing... all that time wasted only to led to a bad break-up after finding out they were using you.

[Asker]

What's the use of that if you're not going to settle down and have kids with them as they promised?

[Subarugirl]

That’s called lying and manipulation

[Asker]

Because of them... it makes people not believe in soulmates anymore. Instead, either they enjoy being single or start looking for a companion that shares similar interests and common goals... and isn't going to fall again for that ''I love you'' lovebombing liar.

[Subarugirl]

lol that’s like saying you got stung by a bee and now you want to get rid of all of them

[LazerBean]

Love is something that you have to feed.

[Asker]

Yes but it would have to be built through hard work too, not just by lust and passion.