So just being madly in love isn't enough?

[Danielle93]

I think most of us would like to believe that a successful relationship is base on being in love (giving, receiving and exchanging limerance) but is that really enough?

If so, then wouldn't everyone in love be having kids with them? Wouldn't the saying ''If you really love them'' then you would commit to them, have kids with them'' apply? Or if they were the ''love of your life'' as you claimed, wouldn't they be your life partner until death? After all the love of your life (since the words ''of my life'' are included) is literally translate to an actual life partner you want to have kids and grow old with.

Yet there are many stories of people in love and keep saying ''oh he/she's the love of my life'' but yet they break up, never had kids nor marry them. So being madly in love (head over heels) isn't enough right? You can have love, respect but no commitment nor compatibilities and those relationships end too. What do you think?

Updates

9 mo

Compatibility... if someone wants to travel around the world with a partner but no kids while the other person wants a family... that relationship is going to fail.

Updates

9 mo

Then no amount of being in love and exchanging feelings is going to solve that lack of compatibility.

[BoobSlayer]

Boobslayer is a man who loves boobs, Judy Garland, and talking about himself in third person. For him, it is quite clear that being madly in love is not enough. While being in love certainly brings joy and fulfillment, it is essential to have more than just strong feelings for someone or something. Love alone cannot sustain a relationship or fulfill one's desires in life.

In the realm of intimate relationships, simply being madly in love with someone does not guarantee a successful and fulfilling partnership. While the initial attraction, the allure of the bodacious honkers and bazoombas, can be strong, sustaining a meaningful relationship requires more than just physical attraction. It necessitates trust, respect, communication, and understanding. It requires a deep connection that goes beyond the fiery biscuits and cantaloupes that initially caught our attention.

Love is a multifaceted concept that extends beyond romantic relationships. In the broader scope of life, being madly in love with something, like the enchanting allure of Judy Garland's voice, does not necessarily guarantee success or happiness. It is essential to have passion, dedication, and hard work to achieve one's goals and aspirations. A mere infatuation with a particular pursuit, like talking about oneself in third person or obsessing over one's own boom booms, cannot substitute for dedication and the drive to succeed.

Moreover, being infatuated or madly in love with oneself, constantly seeking validation and admiration, is also not enough to find contentment and true fulfillment. While self-love is crucial for personal growth and well-being, being solely fixated on one's own jugs or milkers can lead to a shallow and narcissistic existence. It is necessary to cultivate empathy, kindness, and genuine connections with others to create a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Being madly in love alone cannot sustain one's happiness or well-being, as life is a complex tapestry of experiences and emotions. It is essential to have a purpose, passions, and interests that extend beyond the allure of vibrant chesticles and tantalizing coconuts. True fulfillment comes from a sense of purpose, personal growth, and contributing positively to the world around us.

ㅤWhile love brings immense joy and excitement, it must be accompanied by trust, respect, communication, dedication, and genuine connections with others. Life requires more than just an infatuation with the allure of enticing boobies and melons; it necessitates purpose, growth, and the pursuit of meaningful experiences. So, dear friends, let us not be content with mere passion and attraction, but strive for deeper connections and a purposeful existence.

[Inbox]

As someone whose relationship just ended 2 days ago, I can say (even before this girl), that love conquers a lot, but not everything - she’s the first girl I’ve ever fallen in love with and in addition everything in my heart was telling me she’s the one. Long story short, she didn’t want to have children anymore and I do. I didn’t get a chance to counter any of her concerns because I was in shock lol, but most of her concerns weren’t about me, but just her past experiences with children. I hold no grudge because I can’t blame her. I will have to see her soon (week or so) and I’ll try to calm her fears, but if she still sticks to her guns, we will have to go our separate ways. When I look back at everything, I have zero regrets since she is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met and I’ve never been so happy in my life over the past year. Love conquers most, but not everything - at the same time however, if we do say our final goodbyes, maybe one of us will crack, but we’re both strong minded people, so I’m not getting on it!

[Inbox]

*betting on it!

[thatshydork]

First off, not all couples want kids. Also, not all couples see value in spending money on getting married. They figure that moving in together is enough and never tie the knot. Not all couples have the resources for either of those things. You don’t have to want kids or want to get married to be madly in love. Yes, if one wants kids or to get married but the other doesn’t that’s something that they need to talk about and make a decision on together but that choice is theirs to make.

Secondly, yes, being madly in love is not all that it takes for relationships to succeed. It takes love, patience, communication, trust, and loyalty.

[sheikalana]

No, Love isn't enough. Respect, loyal, commitment are much more important. You can be in love with someone but have poor boundaries/values that's obviously not going to work.

[caring__1]

Hormones determine love, not compatibility. There is no right or wrong when it comes to what people seek from a relationship, but it's important there is clear, open, honest communication from the start, and both are on the same page. Love can't be measured by children; it's measured by the connection between two people.

At my age, I have no interest in having more children, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't value a special connection. At your age, you may find the focus to be too much on children, due to your biological clock. I remember being at that stage, when I was approaching 40 and didn't want my kids to be more than 40 years younger than me (My son is just shy of 40 years younger than me.). I ended up settling, even though I could see the significant red flags very quickly. Don't let your desire for kids blind you from seeing compatibility with a partner. Hopefully, you want more than just a sperm donor.

[Danielle93]

Yet if there is communication but both want different things in life, no amount of feelings and shares bonding is going to solve that difference if it's indeed something that can't reach a compromise.

[Danielle93]

Hormones isn't real love but rather chemical and lust.

[caring__1]

You're correct, so see what actually exists rather than just what you want or expect to see.

[OlderAndWiser]

Love is an absolutely essential ingredient but it is not enough by itself. You must like your partner, trust and respect them, and feel lust for them. And they must feel the same way about you. Sometimes, you can love someone without feeling any of those other things.

[MrOracle]

No. That's never been enough in real life - that whole concept is mere fantasy/fairy tale.

What ACTUALLY matters as far as maintaining a relationship long-term is having similar/compatible morals, values, and life goals. That's why many generations of arranged marriages were successful - parents would get together and vet the other entire family for their morals, values, and life goals, and if they were in alignment, they would hook up their kids with the goal being marriage. Love wasn't even a factor, though love was usually (though not always) the result.

[Inbox]

As an Indian American, we do a lot of arranged marriages, but was love truly the result or was it you came to love them over time?

[MrOracle]

@Inbox That's what I'm talking about - when people's morals, values, and life-goals are compatible, it's not difficult for the vast majority to fall in love with each other after some time together. I'm not saying it happens 100% of the time, but it's a pretty high percentage. But the idea that marriage was based on romantic love is a very 20th Century concept - one that came from Hollywood rather than from reality - and it's certainly NOT traditionally a major factor in marriage.

[DarkWinterNights]

It’s a combination of a lot of factors in my opinion. Primarily, people fundamentally don’t understand the difference between “Love” and “Lust”, and also have this weird misconception that a good marriage is all rainbows and sunshine and your partner should complete you and make you happy. You’re partner should be a huge part of your life, but you have to be a complete mature adult with and without them. Also social media is a cancer and all the advice online has devolved into: “They <minor martial problem> you, divorce them, you can do better. They don’t deserve you.”

[Finchie40]

No , Love is enough , when you learn to love yourself and accept yourself as a person that is Love , when you can truly learn to love yourself you can find someone that Loves you and themselves as well , The only thing that destroys love is selfishness , if you can not remove selfishness from yourself for someone else , you will never experience Love from somebody else , We are all imperfect people , we have all come from different paths of life , , so we are all incompatible people , so the only thing the breaks love and relationships apart is immaturity. Choosing to be selfish

[loveslongnails]

"Madly in love" never lasts for most marriages, but loving someone will.

Everything is about compatibility in a relationship when it comes to the key issues, children and a family being one of them. Where to live is another, religious beliefs another, even political persuasions still another. If one person wants to travel and not have kids or pets to deal with, and the other person wants all of that, they shouldn't have gotten INTO a relationship in the first place. That's the sort of stuff you determine before you get involved.

"If so, then wouldn't everyone in love be having kids with them?" No Danielle, not at all, and why a lot of people, particularly women, assume that is the ultimate expression of love, is beyond me. Many couples love each other and do not want to raise children for all kinds of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Limerance is temporary, lasting a couple months to a couple years. People erroneously call that love. Most people who say they're in love actually never were. They just think they were due to the effects of the hormones in thier brain. Real love comes from a deeper place of shared experiences, commitment and sacrifice. The reason why real love ends is 2 people grow apart. We are always changing, even in marriage. If you don't grow and change together you WILL grow apart.

[BigDog1989]

Thats why 75% of all marriages fail. They think they're madly in love, only to find out, ones likely cheating on the other

[TheSpaceGnome]

Love is enough.
Love requires mental compatibility and sexual attraction (in this context).
I want marriage, but I don't want to grow old or have kids, I'd rather keep my youth/health and be childless while married.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I don't know anyone over the age of like 20 that seriously thinks "all we need is love."

[KrakenAttackin]

Because too many people don't know the difference between lust and love.

[Nikki1989]

Love is essential, but it is only the starting point.

[Christoff92]

No. But getting into other aspects that relate to being madly in love makes a difference.

[jahaims]

Life isn't a Disney movie. Most people know this. Sounds like you are just learning.

[LazerBean]

Nope, it's not enough.

[Danielle93]

True and people are so naive

[MissBoogus]

It’s been enough in our relationship?

[Danielle93]

But do you actually want to commit and grow old with him, spending the rest of your life with him? Are you compatible, have similar goals, etc?

[MissBoogus]

Yes .

[Danielle93]

Then it's more than just being in love to have the relationship progressing.

[MissBoogus]

I’m not sure what you mean

[Andres77]

Absolutely not. It’s idiotic