Lost the “Spark” after a fight with boyfriend/girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend recently had ig maybe our biggest fight so far. I’ve said I’m sorry. But I’m still so mad. And I can tell he’s still mad at me, and he’s never apologized for things he said like he usually does. He said so many things that hurt me that it just makes me so mad/upset. So much so that I just don’t feel like I could manage the words I love you right now. And I can tell he feels the same way. And I don’t know what to do.. I feel like space would be good. But he doesn’t want me to back away but yet he doesn’t really want to talk to me either.

Any past experiences or simile incidents?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

When two people argue it’s usually the fault of both of them.

You hurt each other, you hurt him and he hurt you too. No need to have a race about who hurt first… Seems like maybe he’s a bit stubborn and he, too, feels hurt.

I would probably go and say sorry for hurting him, there’s nothing wrong with saying sorry. Even if he hurt me too, it doesn’t change the fact that I made him feel bad as well. But you already said “sorry” right? Maybe he felt it’s not genuine and you’re still mad at him?

You can tell him why you acted the way you acted, explain your feelings to him, don’t judge him but show him your point.

Use the words “I told you this because I felt like this… “ Don’t try to say “You’re wrong!”, because we are all right in our hearts, the misunderstandings happen because we couldn’t tell another person clearly what is in our heart.

Tell him you didn’t want to hurt him. And that you hurt if he hurts. Hug him, even if he doesn’t hug back.

Then wait for it. He’ll come and apologize to you too, he will also explain how he felt and why he said what he said.

[Anonymous]

If you need space then take it. He shouldn’t be allowed to dictate how you respond to his poor behavior, and vice versa. You are your own person.

[DaveJord]

Yup loads of past experiences with this type of thing with my ex-wife. It was the most toxic and unforgiving relationship I ever had. She would never say she was sorry and she would never forgive anything, or take any responsibility for any of her own actions or contribution to the arguments. She would just project negative vibs on me for days if not weeks, and act out sub consciously in all these passive aggressive ways. It became impossible to move on from any disagreement and that made ever other little thing that much worse.

In the end I divorced her, because I couldn't deal with it any more. I just felt like I was the only emotionally mature person in the relationship not trying to sabotage ever thing I or she did.

[Mikeysoda]

This is one of those situations where some space would be nice, like a week or two to sort things out. Then come back together and communicate about what you guys feel and think and where to proceed from there. Sometimes these things happen and theyvhelp the relationship grow. Sometimes they happen and they are deal-breakers and kill the relationship. Either way, you learn where the relationship is.

[sheikalana]

These are the ups and downs of a relationship. Give yourself some time and if you guys are meant to be you’ll get over it.

[spartan55]

It would help to know what the fight was about and what was said.

[genericname85]

well if you say things that you mean, then what's the point of saying sorry? what is it precisely that he's not sorry about?

[one1wild00]

Sounds like both of you need to go to your corners for awhile, then come back and have make-up sex.

[KrakenAttackin]

Eject. Who needs that shit.