Girls, what are the top 3 relationship lessons you’ve learned from dating/courting?

[dynamicyandere]

Guys, what about you? What would you say are the top 3 lessons you’ve learned from your relationships so far?

[Vickymoore9]

Number one is if a guy is controlling call that shit out aloud to him and dump his ass right there and then!
Always be honest to a guy when he asking questions don’t feel like you need to lie. Guys are just as smart as girls they can read a lie but many are to insecure to call it out. Make sure he doesn’t lie and call him out as well don’t ask questions your going to lose your shit over. I dated guys who asked how many guys I been with and told them. Then the guy freaks out but that’s not a bad thing you just dump him immediately. Then you know he going to be a insecure asshole who going to freak out about everything. It’s best to know what you getting into and out of it as soon as possible not to waste your time. Watch how he reacts with people like waiters and waitresses is he kind does he tip? How does he treat his family and friends and especially if he has children is he involved as a dad. I hadn’t dated a guy we liked each other didn’t know him much just though friends. I had no idea he had a daughter and a son I asked him how old and when last time he seen them. I could tell he didn’t give a fuck about his children could remember last time a few years he said. I asked where they lived not even a 20 minute drive from us where he lived. I was thinking dirt bag piece of shit as he was finishing talking. I told him I wanted to do some other things today and needed to got right then. Obviously he knew I didn’t like his answers he made a comment about he pays child support. I laughed saying that’s the law right they take away your drivers license. I didn’t want to tell him more I didn’t want to attack him for what choices he makes. I just didn’t want to associate with that douche bag lol.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I don't know nowadays... I hear controlling from a chick now and it's not the stereotype of a mean man being mean anymore... it's a chick that just wants to sleep around and her dude just doesn't like that. I do think a dude should recognize a chick that just wants to sleep around and accept it for what it is instead of cutting off all his own options for her and getting mad about all the random dudes that keep popping in the picture. I mean as a dude you'll just be seen as controlling... trying to keep her from fucking other dudes. Just my opinion when I hear those words.

[Vickymoore9]

@D_Bone_Steak Both are capable of anything and choice of leaving and staying is there’s. This issues is people trying to change people forcing it when it’s clear. This low self esteem issue goes both ways as well not understanding to move on and let it go. I’ve always been a very strong person when I wanted to be single and mingle I was always honest. Like with my long term boyfriend and every guy I’ve dated cheating isn’t in my DNA. When I commit it’s loyalty 100% and expected when that’s broken I have his shit on the porch while he still crying apologizing.

[D_Bone_Steak]

That's what I think... be willing to leave. My own butthurt sentiments come from being told one thing (I'm yours 100% type stuff) and then her doing another thing despite the promises, in the past. It goes both ways because I know dickheads do that type of bullshit to chicks as well.

[Vickymoore9]

@D_Bone_Steak people just need the back bone to walk the fuck away and don’t look back. I think having been an only child and very spoiled I always got my way. While I know some things like my dad not calling me on my bullshit didn’t help. The fact was I don’t take shit from anyone and everyone reads it as that shit glows about me. I scare away guys who want to control women if they try I call that fucker out lol. So I know this being who I am has helped not having those abusive relationships. I’m still friends with most guys I dated they was good guys it just didn’t work out.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Yeah, you sound complicated to deal with. Maybe a good time if it was my turn, but damn... just being honest here... I wouldn't want to deal with it for any extended amount of time. I would take rejection as an act of kindness. --->I'm just speaking hypothetically here and not being your simp. Only talking about how you sound to me... I didn't even look at your little profile picture thingie. Just 100% honest, you sound difficult.

[Vickymoore9]

@D_Bone_Steak FAIR ENOUGH I’m sure you knew saying it I’ve been told that before lol. My boyfriend is so opposite of me doesn’t argue let me go off then smiles and asking me if I’m done lol. My dad always tells me to dial it down all the time and be nice lol. I’m confrontational at times or most times when challenged lol. My boss will tell me to go to my desk and chill out when I argue with him lol

[D_Bone_Steak]

Your poor boyfriend. Try to go easy on him.

[Vickymoore9]

@D_Bone_Steak I’m not mean to him lol we get along great actually unlike most couple we have same hobbies and interest. We hang out like best friends on our days off doing stuff all time together unlike most you know what I mean in your relationship right!

[D_Bone_Steak]

Sharing hobbies and interests are important. When I say friends first, I really mean like actually share some interests and don't try to build a relationship on sexual attraction alone.

[Vickymoore9]

@D_Bone_Steak exactly we was actually friends for a few years before even dating both into kayaking. For me it was like I didn’t want to date him because he was so fun I didn’t want to ruin it. He was the same way either of us ever trying to get with the other. He asked me about one of my friends who just got single jealously suddenly hit me. Even though we never even done anything pretty much I made the first move then and kissed him. We have a strong foundation before we started dating so it’s been perfect since.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Damn, that sounds beautiful. Shared hobby and all... It really makes me feel sorry for dudes that just throw themselves at random chicks that have nothing in common with them. If they just hold out and do what they love... that chick will be there. But no, 95% of the time, they throw themselves at some random chick that only likes shopping, eating, and more shopping and eating... maybe watching romance movies almost like it's porn or Starbucks like their special.

You may be difficult as a person to deal with... but those shared interests would kind of make dealing with shit tests worth it. Take note ladies... just having tits and ass might get you laid but that doesn't build an entire relationship that's healthy.

[Xoxocutekitty]

1) call out bs early, often, and firmly because people will say anything to continue wasting your time.

2) if you want someone to change, reward good behavior without punishing bad behavior. Repeat.

3. Say thank you to your partner everyday. Get creative.
_ 'Thank you for mowing the lawn.'
_ 'This meal looks great, thanks'
_ 'thanks for talking about this stuff, it means a lot that you're willing to do this with me.'

[JamesDiaz11]

Top 3 Lessons:
1. Don't pursue if they're not reciprocating- If they're not texting back, engaging in conversation, etc. then it's frivolous to try to plan things; it's like pulling teeth, and will only end in you spending time/ money when they're not receptive.
2. Have a phone conversation before meeting in real life (if this is a dating app situation)- to see if you can actually hold a convo; saves a ton of time/ money dating someone who is a dud.
3. Don't cheat- This may seem easy, but when you get a lot of female attention, you start getting bored in the relationship, and you're in a low it can be tempting. Give the relationship a solid chance, and have the ability to work things out, which is impossible if you betray her/ him. They'll never see you the same, and the more you do it the more desensitized you get to doing it again in the future.

This is why it's such a legitimate question to ask someone if they've cheated (in the same way you'd ask if someone hooked up, had threesomes, etc.) because if you've already crossed that line it's SO DAMN EASY to cross it again- you don't feel bad until you have to look at your person's eyes and know they're gone.

[inquisitivequeen]

1. friendship is important. Being a friend will come in handy on those days when you aren’t feeling each other.
2. Having open communication and being able to talk to each other about anything and everything is very important, because if you can’t communicate with each other but start confiding in someone else, that can start to tear apart a relationship
3. It’s ok to be wrong, be able to admit that, and both apologize when wrong then you can keep the companionship together and not worry about holding on to bitterness and anger, and holding grudges that could slowly make the relationship dwindle

[LilyoftheLake]

1. Connection is key, not just chemistry.
2. Don't try to force yourself to be attracted to someone. You are or you aren't (or you will be, but it will happen naturally)
3. Don't be careful with your heart. Give and give, don't be afraid to lose.

[Rei13]

Probably repeating some but here we go

1. Both personality and attraction are important when it comes to compatibility. Anyone who says differently is lying. I would place slight more importance on the personality portion however

2. How does he treat his mother? How does he talk about/treat exes? Service workers? These, while general, can be pretty big indicators of how he will treat you.

3. Does he support you and push you to be the best version of yourself? If you try to make a positive change in your life (going to the gym for example) is he doing it with you? Helping? Or does he expect you to make changes for him, not yourself, and doesn’t make any attempt to better himself? Is he only concerned with himself and not you? You don’t want to try to put all of your energy in a guy who doesn’t care about you

[mermaidcancermoon]

1. Date for personality compatibility not just attraction

2. The emotional feelings have to be mutual. Some people get so caught in liking someone that they dont realize the other person doesn't feel the same.

3. If theyre not willing to communicate, compromise, and comfort in a healthy way... theyre not the right partner.

[FictionalCharacter]

1) guys don’t like to be approached by girls (yes, I have read comments online that guys LoVe to be approached by girls. I’ve tried it in public places and guys always turn their heads or walk away from me)

2) guys ask more questions about income than women and also pass more judgment on income than women (No women have EVER judged another person about their status and income. Only men)

3) Guys are more critical and look down on others than women

[ChrisMaster69]

Effective communication built on respect, trust, honesty and consent.

emotional connection and compatibility win over physical attraction.

Life is not fair and shit happens, be adults and talk over problems.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Talk out your problems as fast as possible, appreciate what you have and let him know you do, communicate to eachother what you want so you both understand eachother.

[NZGirl07]

1) Actions matter much more than words
2) You have to be attracted to someone from the beginning you can't force it
3) Openly communicate about everything

[Subarugirl]

Establish and maintain healthy boundaries
Trust and communication should be the foundation of your relationship
The way your significant talks about and treats others will eventually be the way they will treat you, so just keep that in mind.

[IJhonnyI]

Don't get into a relationship fast, don't give females 100% until given it first or at the same time, and 3 never let your thoughts get the best of you 💯

[MrCon10t]

1. DO NOT put your partner on that pedestal in your mind.
2. Hope is not an infinite resource. If you are with someone who doesn’t poor back into you, you’ll wind up empty inside.


3. Your time, money, effort and affection are all precious resources. Don’t just hand them out to anyone who will take them.

[Anonymous]

- know your love language and expectations and clearly lay them out on the table when starting to get serious with someone
- be wary of people who get attached too quick or someone who’s clearly not over their ex
- avoid anyone who acts passive aggressive or someone who gets triggered by literally anything

[LazerBean]

1. Don't count on people changing
2. If they don't have the same values, direction in life, or expectations out of the relationship and life, move on early.
3. Believe what you see, not what they say.

[EmyyWolf]

All Men Want Only Sex
Love Doesn’t Exist
You Only Live Once

[serious]

Never had any relationship. I have always been single.

[Literalbillionaire17]

1. Have your own, you can be replaced
2. Watch how he treats his mother (not every guy is like this but if he treats his mother good he will treat you good)
3. Be adventurous

[TacosRAwesome]

- avoid love bombers- avoid people who judge your interests (eg if I like basic ass pop music, then don't tell me your intellectual shit is better)- find someone with inspiring interests

[Jamesshinobi]

1) Happiness comes from within
2) woman and men are not even close to the same and thats ok.
3) if you never rely on a woman, she can not let you down.

[Jamesshinobi]

I tell my Daughters (13, 10, 2)
1 you train everyone how to treat you by what you accept from them.
2 you are responsible for your own safety at all times. i dont care if you are holding my hand you are not safe so look out.
3 never turn down a friend, a fight, or a beer. (this is how i was raised by my simple father and i dont have any sons) not relationship advice per say but if you apply these to all aspects of life you will be surprised how well they work.

[Redstang88]

1) Some girls are just too broken
2) The ones that aren’t want nothing to do with me
3) See #1