Have you ever wondered if you're not good enough for anyone and how did you deal with it?

Question

I’ve had so many bad experiences in the past with being used , abused , and just blatantly disrespected by friends , boyfriends , etc and it’s hard to not blame myself sometimes even though I gave all those people my everything since day 1. How do I get past the feeling of self blame.

Sonorous · Accepted Answer

I think the key to getting past self-blame is to remind yourself that people's perceptions of you shouldn't unquestionably define you. Especially if you don't even know them. Because all people can be misguided &/or wrong. And ultimately, they don't & won't ever know the true us. They only have their interpretation of the us that we show them.

So we must ask ourselves if someone really deserves us. If they deserve our love, our hate, our stressing over them, etc. Because when we really define people's level of importance to be relative to the kinds of people they are, then I believe we're steps closer to greater inner harmony. It will allow us to only place their perceptions of us very highly when we decide that they actually deserve it. When they consistently & genuinely do have our best interests at heart.

And if they prove unworthy or things just don't work out, then we've gotta really force ourselves to have a very level-headed approach. Focus on what's in our control & be okay with what isn't. Because when we let go, we make space for better things.

glennos89 · Accepted Answer

Stop lying to yourself!

You said that you gave it your all...

So how can it be your fault then?
Did he gave it all aswell?

A relationship failure should never be blamed on you or your partner. Sometimes they simply just don't work!

When a relationship fails you can't blame it on yourself and neither on your partner! It means that your souls aren't a perfect match so you guys are definitely not meant to be together then!

Stop blaming yourself and stop lying to yourself to convince you otherwise! Learn from the mistakes that were made and embrace the positive things you got out lf it and move on with your life without regrets.

Things happen for a reason and no one will stay forever in your life so try to accept that!

EvilAngel114 · Accepted Answer

I think it would benefit you to take a step back and step away from everyone and everything for a few days. Take the time to do some self reflecting and realize you are more than enough and you need to know your worth. Stop giving 100% of yourself to people that aren't giving that same type of energy back to you. Figure out what you want, what kind of friendships/relationships you want and don’t settle for anything less than that. You have to know what you want and deserve to know when it’s time to walk away from toxic relationships. And if those people get mad oh well, they to stop taking advantage of your kindness.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

You are more than good enough. Never ever let anyone else’s opinion change your perception of yourself. The greatest gift you can give yourself is respect! If you respect yourself, then you love yourself, flaws and all and that’s okay! We are not perfect! Whoever said they’re better than everyone else is also fighting their own battle. Hugs for you and yes people have made me feel and told me I’m not good enough but that’s okay. That’s their opinion! What makes them think they’re good enough for me?

AmanoYin · Answer

You need time to yourself...

You need time for introspection... self love... like actually relearning how to love yourself if you think you're not good enough. Go to a therapist if you can, otherwise you're going to have to filter through a lot of bs. Take time to yourself... months maybe. Maybe now l more. Stay healthy, keep a good friend group.

Anyways. If they are dating you, they think you're they're equal. Don't look up or down to people. Don't look down on yourself. It's the opposite of narcissism... you need balance. You are good enough. . But you have to realize it first. This might take work. Good luck.

Lucy68 · Answer

Let's see all my exes that have abused me whether it was mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically, and sexually are apparently all now married. The last 3 who abused me I was also engaged to as well and I had to break off the engagement, the last one I had go cause he got another girl pregnant and long story on that one. So yes I do feel like I'm not good enough for anyone and I do believe I'm the problem in the relationships. But eventually someone is going to come into your life and make you think otherwise and you'll feel happy and blessed that they're in your life. And with their help you'll slowly start seeing that you deserve better and that you are a good person. So I honestly feel you trust me, and don't worry you'll get through it. There will be days but you'll get through it. And eventually you'll be happy and see happiness again. And when they happens just enjoy the happiness.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

you have no reasone to trust me but please do. you are good enough. the people that make you feel this way are not. please leave them all. you will find someplace nicer with nicer people if you leave.

"I always wonder why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth, then I ask myself the same question."
Harun Yahya

Anonymous · Answer

You think you’re not good enough for someone but you have had an abundance of relationships—it is just that people have treated you poorly.

You’ll be fine. You’re young and a woman. You can meet someone any time you want. It’s just a crap shoot on whether they will treat you good.

You could always think you’re not good enough and not even be able to get a date. But then I guess that really would make one not good enough. Hmmm.

Good luck on finding a guy who treats you with respect, kindness, and love.

dynamicyandere · Answer

The thing that has comforted me is my focus on bettering myself. Becoming the best version of myself is something I strive towards every day. Improving myself gives me hope and confidence and a growing sense of self-worth.

As for ‘friends’ and exes that disrespected me, I learned to let them go and surround myself with positive and supportive people that are good for my mental health and personal growth.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I have never felt like I wasn't good enough.

As for how you get past the feeling of self blame? It';s simple.. think about it...

You have been everything to these people, and have been used and abused.. You have just picked arseholes for boyfriends / friends.

All that is wrong is, your radar for picking up on the wrong type of person is completely out of alignment.

SiberFox · Answer

Make sure you have healthy boundaries, one of the most important things you can do for your psyche is knowing where to draw the line and not cross it. This is a sign of self-respect, if you don't respect yourself you'll disrespect yourself and put yourself in a world of hurt.

ruhab · Answer

Many times. I just discourage myself which is not a good option and then cry a little which works really well.

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Answer

Too many times to count. I usually just have a breakdown about it and then stuff all the feelings back inside of the box I keep them in.

Rebecka33 · Answer

Yes many times with guys in general felt I wasn't good enough compared to other girls. A couple guys have accepted me though but most guys in person our mean to me.

VV3ZZY · Answer

Yeah. Like I feel sorry for myself. And want someone to talk to me and make me feel better. But there's nobody who cares it feels like. But I care.. I'm here for you

Staximus · Answer

Just stand up for yourself and don't accept bad treatment. If somebody is bad to you, tell them to go fuck off into the sunset.

Crankor · Answer

Nope, if I did wonder that, then I'd know I would never get along with that person and would have no interest to.

baserunner611 · Answer

You are beautiful smart and incredible

RuthlessAggression · Answer

Yeah

JohnK123 · Answer

Sometimes I guess

jahaims · Answer

Nope.

Have you ever wondered if you're not good enough for anyone and how did you deal with it?

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