Ever thought that you’re not good enough for a relationship?

Question

I think that way all the time. I have nothing a man wants. And I have lots of red flags that will scare men off.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

Dear Sasha,

I think you are too hard on yourself.

You are a woman,

I am sure you are capable of a deep love,

being caring and loyal,

being attentive and relaxing,

bringing the sense of peace and home to someone in your future.

But before you do that, why don’t you look in the mirror,

Be still, try to relax for a moment and

explore yourself,

look at your cute eyes, lovely cheeks, beautiful nose, just look at yourself,

and accept who you see.

Love her,

care for her,

Be loyal to her,

Be forgiving to yourself,

Try to bring peace and sense of home to yourself,

Before we give all those things to another person in our lives, we need to look at ourselves and once and for all, accept our little flawed selves.

You’ve got a lot to offer to a man.

But before you can offer them to a man, you’ve got to find them in yourself and spoil yourself with those sweet little things you’d do for your loved ones.

You are enough,

you are more than enough,

Just sit down, put your hands down still, breathe deeply and feel every fiber of your alive female body.

Here you are,

young and alive, full with lots of love to give, start giving it to yourself today.

And if you don’t mind my suggestion, I think you’d look totally stylish with the bangs on your hair.

I know I myself would rock them too.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well obviously you’re scaring them off. I think it’s your behavior. You might be too obnoxious or come of as needy or weird. How to fix this. Speak with a therapist. Or ask a close female friend; if your behavior is normal or obnoxious or weird. Depends how honest that friend is. You need someone honest to tell you. Cause people nowadays are too nice. And won’t be honest with you to protect your feelings. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Maybe it’s also your looks. You’re not doing your hair or makeup correctly. The way you dress is not pleasant to look at. Obviously something is WRONG, wether that be your behavior or looks. Something is turning them off. 🤷🏻‍♀️

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

While there are some things that you can't change, there are still many things that you CAN change to reduce red flags and make yourself more attractive as a relationship partner. Will it be hard work? Almost certainly. Will you have to leave your comfort zone? Definitely? Might some of them take months or years to accomplish? Sure.

But it's a CHOICE to do that work and make those changes. No one can make you, but whether you do or not is going to have a significant impact on your outcomes.

It's also true that some of the things you can't change will reduce your "market value", meaning you won't be able to demand as much from the market as someone with a higher market value - just as I can't demand as much as Brad Pitt or Chris Hemsworth. You have to be realistic about your market value, even as you work to improve it (should you choose to).

If your demands don't match your market value, the market dictates that you probably won't be successful at finding a relationship, and if you are realistic with your demands with regards to your market value, then your chances of success are significantly better.

aceleon · Accepted Answer

not thinking i am sure of it, i am absolutly great for a hook up or a friends with benefits situation (if it involves exclusivity cause i'm not getting anyone's sloppy seconds) i also tend to make a good friend cuz even if i am rough around the ages and quite temperemental i'm loyal and bold i can fight till i die for a friend without blinking but i can never be a good boyfriend or husband cuz i am initially selfish and self-absorbed there is no US in a relationship with me there is only ace and his girl (s) to be absolutly frank the ideal relationship type for me would be a multiple bisexual girls who are also into each other thing let me do my manhood but when it comes to fragile and sensitive things, things that needs consideration, emphaty and understanding keep it in yourselves, i will gladly be the protector and the wall that you gain strenght from but i am absolutly no savior or knight in shining armor and ultimately not a NİCE GUY the best things i can offer to my lovers are passion and tough love i will probably be more of a father than a love interest.

Anonymous · Answer

I've seen a bunch of your posts on here all the time asking the same questions related to your insecurities for not having a partner, then make it sound like you're content with being single and you've got nothing to worry about just to mask up those insecurities.

Deep down you must really want that companionship, but it sounds like you think it must be you that's the problem. What do you consider your red flags? Have you ever dated anyone before and just haven't had luck, or is it that you feel that men just don't approach you/never seem interested and you always find yourself in the friendzone?

If you don't have any luck with men in your social circle irl, online dating is always an option if you're comfortable with trying that.

NathanDavis · Answer

I did once yes... when I was in high-school, and before I had any relationship at all, but I guess I was wrong...

and I was in fact, better at the time, and good enough to be in a relationship, but she... being an amazing person had a lot to do with it too

she wasn't in the "best shape" for a relationship either but we made it through, together... we completed one another, for a while

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Yeah, you do have a lot of really obvious insecurities that you project outwards, just from glancing over your questions and answers. I’m sure you’re handling it in your own way, but if your happiness with yourself and the world hinges on you being in a relationship, maybe you should give up on being in one and find happiness in other things.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Absolutely. I've felt that way with my boyfriend a number of times. Mind you, he's done absolutely nothing to make me feel small or unfit to date. Mine is more the feeling of not being enough for him with all he does for me. Like I don't deserve him. He does do everything in his power to make me feel. special, and he does.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Used to. Then I saw the people who were actually dating and realized if they could get into relationships than I sure as hell could. I’m just really picky and enjoy my own company these days.

If you are aware of your own shortcomings you can change them, regardless of what they are.

JacobJordan · Answer

when I was younger definitely I didn't like people which was a problem. i found most people annoying which was a problem. what I wanted seemed out of reach. So I stopped looking and said I am happy as is. a couple weeks after that I met the woman I would end up marrying and she checked everything I wanted and more. in turn she didn't really like people and also found most people to be annoying as well. ended up being absolutely perfect

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I just think you need to start trying to be the best you can be.. Slowly unlearn bad habits, look max the best you can, and try to gain a more healthy mindset.. I mean I feel you.. I feel like that sometimes, but you know it won't help and will only make you feel miserable.. Because you are really showing that you do want a relationship.. You are just afraid to get into it.. Your self esteem is down to dust.

Crankor · Answer

If you really feel that way, do you think there are things you could do to change some of those reasons? It could be just you being hard on yourself comparing to unrealistic expectations or maybe you do have a lot of red flags. So I'd say either focus on yourself to improve yourself or just let it be that someone else's red flag could be another's dream

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

Sometimes. I feel like I haven't blossomed enough just yet. Or in this case of blossoming, adulting. Of course, some of this I cannot control, so I only do what I can do. My adulting will go further in life as I continue to live.

exitseven · Answer

I used to feel this way. I got myself in shape and I get through college and got a good job. I worked on my personality too. Now if anyone ever thought I was not good enough I know that they are wrong. Be the best version of yourself.

Tim2nice · Answer

You have nice blonde hair, blue eyes and I’m assuming you have a pair of boobs and a vagina. These are the most desirable things a man could possibly want

bededazzle · Answer

yeah all the time. depression + anxious preoccupied attachment. don’t want to hang my problems on people, but it’s hard to stop it

katiesmuff · Answer

I never thought that, but I did think that I wasn't interested in a relationship for a very long time and very happy with that decision.

Monalisa77 · Answer

Yup which is why i dont understand why some men seem to like me

Boomchakalaca · Answer

Yes frequently bc im not his type. Or small comments about female actresses on tv.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I think I’m good enough yet sometimes undeserving

Staximus · Answer

Listen, half the women I know are crazy as hell. As long as you are good to a guy then he will stick around

boobliker · Answer

never even thought my mum said she not good enough for you

Anonymous · Answer

This is the same question 5th time, stop worrying Sasharoo!

Bad257 · Answer

Red flags !! What do you mean & what are this flags like what?

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah all the time unfortunately and I think this is why I’ve never been in a relationship. Not the best feeling

Anonymous · Answer

I also feel like her but I don’t feel like there’s a problem w that. So what does that mean?

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. I think you should seek some therapy.

sheikalana · Answer

Never had those thoughts.

nonyabeez-wax · Answer

Define what you think red flags are?

collie22 · Answer

It's anger issues I have problems with

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Nope. I'm perfect.

bowenw · Answer

I think you are being very hard on yourself.

BobbieBoy666 · Answer

Yes always

ThrillSeeker01 · Answer

Sometimes

dudeinohio · Answer

Never thought that.

Willoughby23 · Answer

Im not tbh

riverrat3 · Answer

You are good enough

DixienormousW · Answer

things like what?

Ever thought that you’re not good enough for a relationship?

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