I'M EXHAUSTED! HELP?

[Anonymous]

So... many guys confessed their feelings for me recently and many of them were actually good and had pure intentions and feelings but I rejected each and every cause i don't want to be in a relationship... but I still carry that guilt of breaking so many hearts, also it just annoys me how almost every guy I talk to falls for me and then I can't look at them in the same way anymore! I want people to stop this and be just friends. How can I stop people from falling for me?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I suggest talking to a therapist to help you build healthy emotional boundaries. The kind of guilt you're describing sounds like it has some deep roots that could benefit from having help to untangle.

That said, though, I'd suggest looking at it a different way. You know you're not interested in a relationship, and you're sticking to your guns.

That's powerful.

You're drawing your boundary and going your own pace. And hopefully, the boys you're rejecting will see this and learn they can do that, too.

You're not breaking any hearts, no matter what they tell you. If someone's heart is broken by a (normal, humane) rejection, that's on THEM, not on you. Rejection is part of dating and love. Not everyone will want to date, or date the asker in particular.

That's fine. That's a lesson everyone has to learn.

But don't let this experience exhaust you. What do you do to recharge? When do you take that time for yourself? How do you defend it?

You are not doing anything wrong, and you do not need to feel guilty.

[BarryLiverstone]

Frankly stop feeling guilty about their emotions. They have control over them and you have control over yours. As long as you have clear boundaries and are not leading them on then you are not breaking hearts. Did you date any of these guys?

[Asker]

No i didn't date any of them

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh why not?

[Asker]

Well I currently want to fully concentrate on my studies as I have an important entrance exam to crack so I wouldn't be able to give enough time to any guy

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s practical. But after the exam you might have some time right?

[Asker]

Well if I crack the exam I'll become a med student and I'll have more to study so it's gonna be a tight schedule... I don't know maybe I'll get time but I'd prefer using it as me (self care) time rather than having cheesy talks with someone.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ha ha no one really likes cheesy talks anyway yk

[Asker]

lol yeah... wbu are u dating anyone currently?

[BarryLiverstone]

Seems like a private q. Feel free to follow me and I’ll let you know

[Asker]

lol okay

[behnam1999]

Don't feel guilty. You don't have to get into a relationship when you don't feel like it. It is necessary for those guys to understand it and move on to someone else to get what they want.

[athlete_7]

U can't smh. 😂 i know one girl whome i feel for she also told she rejected many guys. U can't do that when u are gorgeous. Just try to make girl freinds and try to avoid talking to guys lol

[SAMI_DABBAB]

You shouldn't feel guilty, when someone confesses they should take on the risk, you're doing well protecting yourself