Does a relationship pick up where it left off when you get back together or do you restart?

[Anonymous]

My fiance and I split up last year over a few silly issues, and he took the ring back, we got back together recently but he hasn't returned the ring and I asked him about it and he said we have to build back up to that, we are just dating right now not engaged, but I said we are the same people we always were and our relationship should just pick up where it was before, who is in the right?

[Emiliamazing]

I should hope that you would address whatever issues caused the rift when you initially broke up. If you don’t talk about anything, it’s going to feel like he’s holding that ring back in hopes of you making changes he dictates.
I agree that you should start slow when returning to relationship, but if you were engaged, that means you were deep enough into the relationship to be talking issues out.

[DCooper]

Generally it starts off with both parties expecting a clean slate from the other, while both keeping a keen eye out for red flags with regard to things they had against the other when they broke up. in my opinion this is why it rarely goes better the second time around.

[admles]

No, I don't think it just "unpauses", I think you have to get back into the same state as you were before, it probably won't take as long as it did, but you need to develop trust and closeness again.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

If no cheating was involved then you get back to where you were.