Am I being petty?

[newuser1999]

My boyfriend went to uni (he's finished that now) and 1 of his uni friends has asked him down for his birthday (boyfriend will have to stay there as its 4 hours away) anyway the invite never extended to me (nor did it last year) we've been together nearly 3 years now and are buying are own place together. So I'm a little annoyed that the invite didn't extend to me (other girls will be at his fiends birthday), so I've said that if the boyfriend invites friends over when we live together I don't want this friend invited over (or staying) being as 2 years in a row I haven't been asked. Just wondering if that's being a bit too petty or not?
Also the house we are buying together I have put a bigger deposit down and will be paying the same amount of the mortgage (so technically I own more of the house)
Sorry for the long

[Gent207]

So why are you not friends with your boyfriend'sfemale friends? Never mind their lack of effort, what about your efforts? You had 3 years to get close to his friends and invite yourself over to parties.
Your exclusion tells me you have had problems with these friends and may be they don't approve of you.
Why? My guess is a mix of you, them being themselves and your boyfriend not helping smooth things along. I'd go so far to guess your boyfriend has been taking smack about you to them.

[newuser1999]

It's a male friend, and they live 4 hours away, they've never come up to where we live to visit, it's only been 3 times the boyfriend has been invited down and me on none of them, I'm hardly gonna invite myself am I? We haven't lived together yet so haven't had a chance for a proper get together, but this friend lives on his own and I don't get invited so.
On top of that I'm generally just a shy person and like being left a lone and have bad anxiety, it's the boyfriend that jumps around wanting us to all get along yet makes no effort of me even being able to meet them (I'm not the hosting type put it that way)
And this friend in particular from what I've seen and heard I don't have the highest opinion of, but tbh I don't like many people in general, to me he comes across as a cocky arrogant know it all

[Gent207]

Well then in that case this sounds like a clusterfuck of personalities. So why bother complaining about it?

[newuser1999]

Cause then the boyfriend blames me

[boggboss]

Yes you are being petty I wouldn't be expected to to go to my girls friends bday part as I'm not there friend lol

[newuser1999]

But then why should he be expected to come around my house when he's not my friend lol? Same logic

[boggboss]

Its not your house its you and your partners it dont magger that u paid a higher deposit as u still both paid

[newuser1999]

Still my house too, so if I don't want him there, then I'm not having him there

[newuser1999]

And by your logic, he's not my friend so I don't need to have him there

[newuser1999]

Also to note the boyfriend got invited down for something else in April (so not this friends birthday) and he didn't invite me again, so I think he's just a dick lol

[boggboss]

Again he is your boyfriend friend he dont have to invite you the same way your boyfriend dont have to be incited to your friends events that your invited too I'm not sure why that's so hard for u to understand this is a level of petty and childishness children have not adults lol

[newuser1999]

Yes but then that means he's not my friend so he doesn't doesn't to be invited round to my house. Its literally the same logic. Everyone who I know and myself included would invite my friends and their SO. Even if its my bfs house too, I have to agree to him coming over as it is also my house, its a joint decision and I do not agree to it

[boggboss]

No because your partner would want to invite him and he would vist your partner not you

[boggboss]

And yes its a joint decision but u will say no because you are being childish and saying u never invited me so u can't come

[newuser1999]

It's not childish, why would I want someone in my house that doesn't even want to meet me? They can meet half way or some bollocks, but he isn't coming into my house. I have no issue with any of his other friend coming over and staying as they haven't been like that

[boggboss]

So why even ask if you was being petty if u had already decided u simply didn't care lol you are being a child but meh that's fine as u are right it's your house also so u get a say meh my mistake I didn't realise u wanted validation to the question

[newuser1999]

Yes cause I'm sure you're perfect lol. But his friend clearly doesn't want to meet me, so he shouldn't expect to be able to come round our house

[boggboss]

I'm far from it I just have enough awareness to when I'm acting like a child and admiting to it over pretending I'm doing this for any other reason then being salty 😅

[newuser1999]

Well I admit I don't like people, and I do like being petty when someone pisses me off, I've met half way said he can visit but he's not staying at ours, that's fair and more than what his friend offered me being as neither of us know each other, I'm entitled to choose who stays in my house.

[boggboss]

Sure u are entitled to do and think what ya want no matter how childish or petty it is

[boggboss]

Out of curiosity do you have your own group of friends u spend time with away from your boyfriend

[newuser1999]

No cause all of the people I have befriended turned out to be assholes, and they don't like me calling them out on their bs.

[boggboss]

I thought as much either way fair enough

[newuser1999]

Put it this way, people annoy the shit out of me, as I haven't met 1 genuine person in life yet.

[boggboss]

So u claim to have not met 1 genuine person out off all the people in your life including your boyfriend yet u believe everyone else is the problom and not yourself meh I'm hardly auprised and it's why I knew u didn't yourself have friends

[Seinna]

It's rude he didn't invite you and strange of your boyfriend to go alone.

The only exception would be if it was a boys only party or if you two had some serious conflicts in the past. I don't think you're being petty and your boyfriend shouldn't let you be excluded. Anytime I invite my friends over, it's always them and their partners unless I just want to see the girls.

[newuser1999]

My thoughts exactly, girls will be there during the day/evening it'll only be a couple of boys staying at his place

[LazerBean]

Your boyfriend sounds like he has the spine of a limp noodle. That is a way bigger problem than not getting invited to his friends house.

[newuser1999]

Yeah put it this way his friends can't do no wrong. Put it this way he is/was friends with his ex girlfriend (who he pretty much obsessed over) and she kept saying she wanted to meet up with him (obviously I wasn't cool with that) so I did a compromise that he could meet her but only if I came too, then she doesn't show up and fakes being ill (I called it when it happened) but even then he can't see the wood for the trees and thinks that these friends do nothing wrong. But me saying I don't want his mle friend to stay over at ours cause I wasn't allowed over to his is bad

[LazerBean]

I don't know how you put up with that, I would have been gone immediately.

[newuser1999]

Cause I try to be understanding. Yet I'm the bad guy for not wanting this male friend to stay at ours, the friend isn't bad for not inviting me "as its his birthday and house"

[LazerBean]

The purpose of dating is not to find a guy who you semi like and try to fix him and be understanding, its to find someone who isn't really fucking annoying and doesn't need to be fixed. Once you start dating with that in mind, your life will be a lot more happy and your relationships will be a lot more successful.

[newuser1999]

Well I thought he wouldn't be so obsessed with his friends. Do you think I'm wrong in this situation? I know I'm not perfect but it really pisses me off lol

[LazerBean]

I don't think you're wrong in this situation, but I do think you are wrong for being with a guy who allows it. Anywhere me or my husband is invited, the other one is also invited. Unless it is specified that is a boys / girls only trip, which does not happen very often and we usually don't go to anyway.

[newuser1999]

As far as I'm aware it's only guys staying at the house but girls will be there the rest of the time when doing other things

[LazerBean]

Right, so not a boys trip at all.

[newuser1999]

Exactly, but the boyfriend can't see my point

[Staximus]

If you don't know the guy, he is probably not going to invite you. If you do know him, it's a dickhead move on his part.

[newuser1999]

But then wouldn't the same apply that I don't want him at my house cause I don't know?

[Staximus]

Why doesn't your boyfriend just take you with him?

[newuser1999]

Cause I wasn't invited and it's his friends house

[Staximus]

Is your boyfriend going to sleep on the couch or there's nowhere for you to sleep? Why don't you go with him and get a hotel room down there? If you don't know the guy, how is he going to know to invite you? Your boyfriend should have said he's bringing you or something if you wanted to go. Just forget about this nonsense

[newuser1999]

Cause the boyfriend is chicken, he won't say boo to any of his friends. He just makes the excuse there's nowhere for me to sleep buy I'm just not invited to any of it (so couldn't even get a hotel room)
And for that reason I don't want him coming to my house

[Staximus]

And you're going to buy a house with this nutless wonder? Good luck haha

[newuser1999]

Pretty much lol. Youd think if he was such a good friend he'd want to meet his friends girlfriend (myself and all my friends would want to get to know the others SO)

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it sucks that he didn't invite you, but don't make a huge deal out of it.

[newuser1999]

I bet he'd think I'd be a dick if I did the same

[Opinion Owner]

Your probably right.