Are relationships really worth all the trouble?

[Anonymous]

🤕

I know it's pretty clear that relationships are hard, being someone's girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/hubby is difficult, heck even just finding the right soul who is compatible with you is hard so why do we bother with trying to find partners and why do we stay in relationships when they are so hard? Being alone is so much easier, and it can be fulfilling and beneficial, so why is it that most people avoid being single if that's the case?
I mean why stay in a relationship and put up with things like...
💔partners annoying habits and traits
💔the arguments/fights you have with them
💔coming up with date/vacation ideas and paying for those things
💔putting up with your partners friends/family
💔coming up with ideas to keep things interesting with your partner
💔their exes
💔their mood swings
💔their emotional baggage
💔their insecurities and so forth 🤕

😴🛌

#Selflove and Selfdating.

Updates

+1 y

I am not discouraging anyone from being in a relationship, All I am saying is that being in a relationship is hard work and that being single is easier than being in a relationship, but I suppose most of you did answer my question so thanks for that.

I am not discouraging anyone from being in a relationship, everyone should be allowed to do what ever the heck they want with their lives !.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Premise is off.

Being in a relationship isn't hard, it's easy, it's being single thats hard.

However being in a relationship with someone you don't like, is much harder than being single.

1. partners annoying habits and traits (should not happen, if it does, wrong person)
2. the arguments/fights you have with them (also should not happen, if it does, wrong person)
3. coming up with date/vacation ideas and paying for those things (split any bill you share 50/50)
4. putting up with your partners friends/family (that has no bearing, they should like the same kinds of people as you or it's the wrong person)
5. coming up with ideas to keep things interesting with your partner (you should have the same hobbies and interests, otherwise it won't work out)
6. their exes (people should not talk to their exes at all unless it's the other parent to their kids, and single parents are basically s. o. l. when it comes to dating anyone whos not also a single parent)
7. their mood swings (everyone has mood swings, the right person helps you feel better, not worse when it happens, just by being there)
8. their emotional baggage (everyone has this too, and the same rule applies)
9. their insecurities and so forth (again, same rule).

[Asker]

No one is perfect you'll have to compromise even if you find someone compatible with you, you will still have to compromise, no matter how much you love someone you will still argue/ disagree with them, their moodiness will be hard to bear with at times, their habits will annoy you sometimes, it's going to be hard and challenging to keep things interesting between the two of you at times, emotional baggage yes everyone has it and it sure can suck to deal with other peoples emotional baggage and insecurities... being alone is much easier than being in a relationship, the reason why people struggle to be alone and would rather work hard at being in a relationship, because all relationships are hard work is because they cannot cope with the downsides that come with being single and they pick the downsides of being in a relationship over the downsides of being single. The people who have coped with the dark sides of being single however are the happiest people, who work less hard because now all they ever have to focus on is themselves, and dealing with yourself is easier than dealing with another person because you can control yourself but you can never control others, you are predictable to yourself but others are unpredictable to you. also yes there are advantages to being in a relationship i know that but there are also advantages to being single. you just got to pick the best course for ya self i guess.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You're incorrect. Such curcumstances are the result of bad matches.

[Asker]

So you're telling me that you and your partner do all the things you listed above?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Any women I'd be with would share all my hobbies, views, interests, goals, gripes, etc, they would not be the type to take out their frustrations or discomforts on non guilty parties, and they would be laid back, sweet, kind, and bubbly.

They would be capable of civil scientific debate, and never be mad if wrong, they would be a female version of me, and as such, there wouldn't be any conflict, only comfort, there wouldn't be boredom, on'y relatability and shared hobbies, and there wouldn't be compromise, only a shared vision and mutual enjoyment.

[TheSpaceGnome]

only*

[TheSpaceGnome]

Real relationships only work if you are mentally similar.

[Asker]

I hear ya, I am not going to argue with your preferences. But I think you're missing my point which is that no matter how compatible a couple is and no matter how in love they are, they will still experience multiple challenges and difficulties within that relationship. Nothing in this world comes without any challenges or difficulties!.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Life always has difficulties, but neither of them will be the cause of eachother's difficulties if they are a match, and the relationship will make the difficulties easier to deal with than it is while single, not harder.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Basically, if its the right person, it becomes way easier to breeze through life, I would have far less problems, be comforted during problems, and solve problems faster.

[Asker]

I think relationships can be beneficial but they can be challenging and hard, I do not think it's possible to be in a relationship whereby there are no difficulties, y'all never disagree/ argue, y'all never get annoyed with each other... i don't think it's possible no matter how compatible and in love a couple is, but what is possible is being able to put in work as a couple to overcome the challenges that come your way, but still relationships are hard and challenging, they are a lot of hard work.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It's not impossible.

[TheSpaceGnome]

And I don't agree, being single is hard work, the right match is the easiest thing a person can do.

[RedStealthOperative]

Fact is, it can definitely be less stressful in many areas, with less concerns. However, I think life is much like flying an airplane. You may not always need a co-pilot, but having a good one can keep you sharp, focused, cover you when you need rest, alert you to things you may have missed, and even help make the flight easier than it would have been with just one.

I believe most people want to be in a relationship simply because they're afraid of growing to be old and lonely. Hats off to those who can and are satisfied going through life as a long wolf, though.

[Asker]

Beautifully put ...

[DizzyDesii]

Great memes haha. I mean I love to give my all in a relationship but i’d like to receive the same in return and its almost always one of us loving the other more. I want equal love for eachother. I agree though that I dont like sharing a bed nor the remote haha. I wouldn't live with someone until at least engaged and i’d prob sleep on the couch some nights just to have space to myself haha. Sure there would be a tv in every room but i know we’d try to force eachother to watch one anothers shows. I can't stand dealing with eachothers family members/friends. Sometimes i slick want to date an orphan 😂

[Asker]

Lol thank you, And I hear ya loud and clear😹

[LazerBean]

It's not hard provided you are good at dating and aren't an annoying person with an annoying family yourself.

[Asker]

Being good at dating is hard.

[Asker]

being good at anything takes hard work!.

[LazerBean]

I think it's only hard if you aren't asking enough questions, don't have a list of requirements, and are getting emotionally involved too fast.

[Asker]

I hear you my point however is that it is much easier to be alone/single than it is to ask the right questions, draw up a list of requirements, be good at dating, and not get emotionally involved too fast... But i get ya i really do.

[LazerBean]

I was happy single, but as married person I am living my dream life. I gained a lot without any real expense on my part at all. However I support people's decisions to stay single.

[Anonymous]

They can be, theoretically. Unfortunately I can’t bring myself to bother women after reading their hundreds, thousands of complaints about men and how awful they are for hitting on someone. Why confirm their biases, upset them when they only want to be left alone, or show that I’m just one more man shooting his shot with the hot girl. It’s all pretty pointless, frankly. All for what? Some mediocre sex and inevitably hurtful language from yet another abusive woman?

Sure, part of me would like to be in a relationship, but realistically I know that all I’m doing is running into a meat grinder, emotionally and mentally.

[Asker]

yes protect yourself and choose singlehood over a mediocre relationship that may cause you harm!. but if you do find a lovely gal hopefully you'll giver her a shoot sometimes life will surprise ya with a suitable partner whose worth it..

[HighValue]

Being single is easier, but if you could find a good partner it would lead to a more fulfilling and happy life.

Stay single if you want, but be sure that is what you want. After 30 you will lose most of your good options and there is no way back.

[Asker]

I am open to dying single, many have done it before it's nothing new and it's not that big of a deal, there are other things I plan on doing with my life and thank you for your honest words.

[FilmGuy93]

They certainly can be! Relationships can be a wonderful part of life, if you are in a good one.

[Asker]

But the point is relationships are harder than being single...

[FilmGuy93]

Everybody says that, but I honestly haven't found that to be the case in my own life.

[Asker]

do you agree with me on the fact that relationships can be hard and challenging at times?, if yes then It's safe to say that you chose to deal with the downsides of being in a relationship over the downsides of being single, because being single has it's downsides as well, however it is easier than being in a relationship because all single people ever have to focus on is themselves, and dealing with yourself is easier than dealing with another person because you can control yourself but you can never control others, you are predictable to yourself but others are unpredictable to you.

[FilmGuy93]

Oh, of course! Every relationship has its challenges. I just wouldn't say that the challenges of being in a relationship are any more difficult than the difficulties of being single.

[Asker]

I hear ya, the reason why being single is easier that being in a relationship is because you only ever have to put up with your own challenges not the challenges that come with being in a relationship also being single is less work than being in a relationship so that's why people say being single is easier. In terms of downsides, it depends on the person for others the downsides of being in a relationship are worse than the downsides of being single and to others its vice versa.

[Asker]

than.

[Curmudgeon]

The costs and risks have risen, and the benefits and returns have fallen. When something rewards less and pays off less, you get less of it.

[JustiReno]

Yes … sometimes I fuck up … sometimes she screws up , actually no she’s perfect in every way, but in the end it is growth towards a common goal

[crazy_momma]

Sometimes depending on the person

[Likes2drive]

Well I do like companionship and intimacy, also like to experience things with someone instead of by myself, obviously you have to take the good with bad at times so you compromise.

[Anonymous]

Half of your problem is your selection. But no, most relationships AREN'T worth it.
Most people today's problem is they're in relationships for the wrong reasons.
But when you're with the right person, YES relationships are VERY worth it.

[driven159]

I am glad I am old, and no one would be interested in me because it seems everyone is unhappy or immature or into themselves too much

[JohnK123]

Ya I think so
u just have to find the right person

[Jamie05rhs]

They are if you're with the right person. They aren't if you're with the wrong person.

[In_Trance]

That depends on your sense of value

[Anonymous]

They aren't

[Anonymous]

Definitely yes