Boyfriend touches himself pretty much every night. How to I get him to stop or at least slow down?

[Kittykay_45]

my boyfriend started touching himself in the middle of the night. he says he’s not doing it when I confronted him but I know he is I can feel him vibrating the bed and I can see the blankets moving. At first I thought that he would like it if I turned over and helped him but every time I turn over he turns over the opposite way. we still have sex it’s not as good as it used to be but we still have some every day. It’s gotten pretty one sided. Just about him. I feel like he spends more time getting home self warmed up and then just wants to end it with me. I don't know why to do. It’s really starting to affect me.

[OlderAndWiser]

This has the potential to bring an end to the relationship so you should have a conversation and make sure he understands the level of your dissatisfaction. And if he says something like, "If that's the way you feel, we can just break up right now!" then that is most likely what he wants to do.

You may never get a satisfactory explanation for why this has happened but it is very unlikely that it relates to your ability to satisfy him sexually.

[Kittykay_45]

I’ll try n talk to him again 😔

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck!

[Kittykay_45]

Thank you

[sage2021]

Why don't you make a video when he's doing that so you have proof that he IS doing that.
It's weird that this started all of a sudden. 🤔 Maybe he started taking pills to give him an erection and he likes the way it feels when HE is doing it.
I wouldn't let him wack off next to me, then roll over and ejaculate inside if you. If he's playing with himself, then he can clean up his own mess.
I just think this is totally fricken weird. I wouldn't want a guy that's doing that laying next to me and wacking off to even try to have sex with me - because he's not the same person anymore. He probably watches a lot of porn too.

[Kittykay_45]

Yea it deff weirds me out. N I get the having urges thing but like all the time? I don't know if he started taking pill. N it’s getting me to the point where I don’t want him to touch me either cause it Weird’s me out so much

[sage2021]

@Kittykay_45 yeh, after giving it some more thought - what he might be taking those erection pills earlier in the day to use with someone else, because they last for days, so maybe that's why all of a sudden he keeps getting erections. Also, if he is watching a lot of porn can make a guy not want to be with just one person anymore because it's too boring for them. A lot of relationships break up over this because he starts changing his M. O. with his woman. I have had to do research on this myself and it's true. Their brains like all the excitement of porn, then to be with just one woman just isn't enough for him. It is very very hurtful, and the woman blames herself because she thinks it's something she has done wrong, or he doesn't find her attractive, etc. When all along it's him, and he is the one that changed on you. I am like you, I wouldn't let him near me either. You are not just a deposit box for his bodily fluids - right. The whole thing makes me sick because it reminds me of what happened to me. All the lies, not wanting sex with me. Catching him on his cellphone in the bathroom with the door locked. Sometimes he would forget to lock the door and there he would be! I saw what he was doing! So, your bed will probably be very quiet like mine was with my back turned away from him. Yeh, as we women get older, we get wiser. Trust your guy lady.🌹

[Emilyis]

even litte boys touch themselves. My husband sleeps with himself in his all the time. Get over it. They just do it.

[Kittykay_45]

It’s not the roughing himself it’s the lying. And not letting me be involved. Like if it’s a private affair why do it next to me?

[Jamie05rhs]

Interesting. It sounds like an intimacy issue. He sounds like he hasn't completely opened up to you. He still feels safer alone than with you. You guys need to work on that. You need to spend more time together and talk more. Have deep conversations. Really get to know him on an intimate level (not sexual).

But first you need to decide that monogamy is really what you want and you are willing to commit to one person for the rest of your life. Don't tell him you love him if you don't mean it.

[Kittykay_45]

Yea maybe your right it’s worth a try. Umm we’ve been only with each other for 2 years. And have never cheated on anyone. So don’t assume that everyone wants to have many partners

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay; awesome!
That last part was just in general. Sorry; I wasn't referring to you specifically.

[Kittykay_45]

Thank you for the advise and it’s still Avery bold statement.

[Jamie05rhs]

You're welcome.

[kinggeorge007]

It sounds like he's missing something or he finds this way more entertaining. Some people think musterbating makes them last long on the immediate next time the have sex. Those may be the reason too because you said he does this and finishes with you.

[Kittykay_45]

Yea that might be it. But it just makes it weird when he turns away like he does. It makes me feel like he doesn’t want me

[jahaims]

Just be more direct and express to him how it makes you feel

[Kittykay_45]

I thought I was but he swears up and down he isn’t doing that.

[jahaims]

Call him on lying or get proof

[Kittykay_45]

I’ve tried calling him out n he says he’s not. N I’ve tried to get proof he just rolls over away from me. I don't know how else. Guys get wood in the morning so him just being hard isn’t enough

[jahaims]

Act like you are sleeping and wait for him to cum. Cum is your evidence. I also meant talk to him about how he is being a selfish lover and making it one sided

[Kittykay_45]

Yea I’ll think I’ll do that. I think I stir and he stops before he gets to the point. And if it’s the morning he’ll roll over for like 10 mins then roll over to me and try to start intercourse. I reciprocate cause I’m horny n want him to touch me but it’s like he spends all that time worry about himself that I’m left there being unsatisfied. I told him my needs aren’t being met but I feel like it went through one ear and not the other

[jahaims]

I mean he might be being a selfish asshole or there could be other things going on he feels to vulnerable to discuss. Try to go into it with an open mind and not making assumptions based on your feelings. Give him a chance to hear him out. Maybe even tell him something like I already told you how this is affecting me and it continues to happen so I want to know what's going on otherwise I just have to assume you are being selfish and are putting me on the back burner.

[Kittykay_45]

I’ve asked him about it. N was even trying to light hearted like these things happen but your keeping me up. And it does feel very selfish n makes me not want to let him touch me when he does try. But I’ll try talking to him again.

[jahaims]

Good luck

[Kittykay_45]

Thank you

[glassdunes]

At least it's not cheating. It honestly says nothing about you or what he thinks, it might just be addiction? Maybe he also wants to stop? Maybe

[Kittykay_45]

Yea I don’t think he’s cheating. N maybe and addiction? He’s been single for a long time

[Anonymous]

Male chastity belt.

[JohnK123]

LOL isn’t that like a torture toy tho

[kinkyoldman]

Do it for him. It's part of the girlfriend job discription.

[Kittykay_45]

I’ve tried he just rolls away from me

[kinkyoldman]

So! Roll him back and devour his junk.

[Kittykay_45]

I don’t want to touch him if he doesn’t want to be touched

[kinkyoldman]

Lick it. His brain will reset and won't let you stop

[Kittykay_45]

I don’t want to cause he hasn’t gone down on me in months

[noohair]

He is showing his true nature. I don't think that this is fixable as it has nothing to do with you. The decision is go or stay.

[Kittykay_45]

Yea that makes sense too

[Anonymous]

Yeah, he is weird. Find a better boyfriend. They exist.

[Kittykay_45]

😔 this sucks

[Opinion Owner]

Tell me all about it.
There is no magic trick to change it other than changing who you'll be a girlfriend to.

[Kittykay_45]

He’s still good in so many ways tho. It’s just this started happening a few months ago.

[Opinion Owner]

Think its gonna change? I doubt it.

[Kittykay_45]

I don't know 😔 i just have hope it can go back to the way it was before

[Opinion Owner]

I doubt it.
It's time to move on. Get used to it.

[loveslongnails]

Message me - I may have solution for you.

[Kittykay_45]

I tried I’m not a a high enough level yet

[loveslongnails]

follow me and I'll message you.

[Kittykay_45]

Done

[RuthlessAggression]

Chastity. You'd have to get him to want to put it on though. And hide the key

[wouterv]

Her me out put him in chastity keep the key now you have control over hoe orgasm

[Anonymous]

STOP wanting to know everything about his manhood. Leave him alone and let him be a "male/man" Jesus!!!

[Kittykay_45]

I don’t mind him doing that but why does it have to be very night waking me up?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Tell him how you feel about the situation

[Kittykay_45]

He keeps denying it’s even happening.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Kittykay_45 I was masturbating in my sleep so he could be doing that I never knew it was happening

[Kittykay_45]

Yea I thought that too but he snores and he stops when he’s doing it and I move to go near him to help or something and he just turns away

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Kittykay_45 Yeah could be hard to tell what's going on Lol

[Anonymous]

Get on top of him and ride him when he does it

[Kittykay_45]

I’ve tried to roll over n help but he just tolls away from me.

[JohnK123]

How is he vibrating the bed lmao

[Guy13]

Junmp on top of that junk.

[Guy13]

Blow job is better than hand…

💋 🍆

[Guy13]

This ain’t difficult. Whining and emotional negative response has to stop OR he’s going to find another place to Distribute.

[Kittykay_45]

How do I jump on top of it when he turns away from me? I give him blow jobs when ever he wants even tho he doesn’t return the favor? What else am I supposed to do?

[Guy13]

Firstly, you convey all this information in the space below the question. I have no clue. Best in it all ‼️

[Kittykay_45]

I said I’ve tried to help in the initial statement above and he rolls away. Can’t get clearer then that

[Guy13]

I’m done…read what you wrote to me. Compare it to what you wrote. Incomplete Data does not help others…. Best

[Kittykay_45]

Or learn how to read. I’ve literally be re stating the initial statement. If you can’t give good advise other then blow jobs maybe you should stick to the comment section on porn.

[In_Trance]

You can't

[Kittykay_45]

So there’s nothing I can do?