If you are married or living with a partner, what chores are yours exclusively?

[Lliam]

I wash and put away laundry and dishes. I don't wash my wife's cloths because she's particular. Emptying and taking out garbage is also my responsibility.
I pick up and keep things neat.

I do lots of other things, but these are my regular, exclusive tasks.

My wife and I hire a lady to come over for 2.5 to 3.5 hours every two weeks to vacuum, mop, dust and do lots of other cleaning. It winds up costing us around $100 per month and is well worth it.

Updates

+1 y

I forgot to add that I pick up and sort the mail. (Our mailbox is almost a mile away.)
I also balance the household checkbook and pay all the bills that come out of that account.

[Bob92220]

I used to live with someone I loved very much. These were my chores exclusively.
1. I paid the rent and food.
2. I paid all the utilities.
3. I had to vacuum and clean the entire place.
4. I had to do laundry.
5. I had to make bed every morning.
6. If she didn't feel like cooking I had to pay for dinner out. Which was frequent.

When I broke up with her it felt like a ton of weight was lifted from my shoulders.

[Lliam]

That's doesn't sound good at all.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah, a lot of people want to put all these burdens on their partner (because "I deserve it," and "he'll do it if he loves me.") But it's really not sustainable long-term.

[Bob92220]

@Jamie05rhs
That's exactly how she felt! She was an attractive young woman and she knew her worth. When we broke up she instantly got another boyfriend. I always wondered if he did all those things for her.

[Lliam]

Yeah, some people are like that. Some guys want June Cleaver wives, too.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Lliam Right!

[Jamie05rhs]

@Bob92220. I'm thankful that I had the privilege of observing cases like yours as an example of what to avoid.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, though!

[lightbulb27]

Lawn maintenance, pay bills.

beyond that, I'm house hubby and I do most of it, but she does some when she wants or can. maintain cars, consult on investments, cooking, cleaning, etc..

[midnightmoon05]

Your the best house husband love ❤️!! 😘

Me soooo lucky. I don’t like domesticated chores.. hehehee…
The list doesn’t end!!
1. Split wood
2. Snow plowing,
3. Up and down that hill with woods, leaves…
4. Gardening, watering
5. Hanging the flag
5. Fixing car
6. Fixing computer
7. Planning trips
8. Keepin the house clean daily
9. Cooking 2-3 meals
10. Laundry
11. Taking kids to school, sports games
12. Entertaining guests
13. Writing up leases
14. Maintenaning tenants stuff
And much much more … it’s like it’s never done. That’s why we deserves a vacation ❤️
…….

[lightbulb27]

@midnightmoon05 great list, I forget all that:)

[Apple1996]

Since im a stay at home mom I'm the main one who handles everything. My husband does a few small things like take down the trash, clean up the yard, sometimes cook but other then that all the real cleaning is my job.

[Bob92220]

Are you happy with that situation?

[Apple1996]

@Bob92220 yess cleaning makes me very happy and it actually bothers me if my husband tries to help. It works out for the best if he can just take the kids for a little bit so I can get chores done. When I have to clean with the kids screaming and running around it really sucks so he helps in that way

[jennifer_bloom]

I’m single but if I had a partner, I would wash dishes and mop and cook and do the laundry while the guy can take out the trash and mow the lawn and kill insects.

[Lliam]

Kill insects. 🤣 Good one.

[SecretsofKB]

Cleaning and laundry are my two chores that are exclusively mine. My girlfriend does the cooking and financial things.

[PeterLegg91]

Financial things as in getting your joint bills paid?

[PeterLegg91]

Financial things as in getting your joint bills paid

[Jamie05rhs]

I believe that every relationship is unique, and the two people in that relationship have the right to decide how they should divide their responsibilities.

However, I have to say that I don't agree with the concept of hiring someone else to clean one's house. Because I'm kind of a socialist, and I think that reinforces inequality and the division of classes. That's just my personal view, though!
(Don't take this personally, because it's not meant that way. What you and your wife do is none of my business.)

[Lliam]

In our case, it's mutually beneficial. There is no exploitation or classism involved. Our house cleaner was also our mail carrier for about 5 years. She's a young, country girl. A couple years ago, she put up a poster saying she was opening a cleaning business. I already knew her and had talked to many times, so my wife and I decided to give her a try. It turned out that she's a godsend.
My wife is self employed and so is our house cleaner.
We also pay people to help with the yard on occasion.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Lliam That's cool.

[Jamie05rhs]

My point is just that if rich people pay poor people to do chores for them, then it kind of sets the expectation that there always HAS to be a class of poor people in order to perpetuate the system. So real progressive change can never happen, because the status quo is entrenched in society.

(Again, that isn't personal. It's just a philosophical observation.)

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT What do you think?

[Lliam]

@Jamie05rhs. I hear what you're saying. In a perfect utopia, that would be true. But in our society, people need to work for a living. All jobs are a form of voluntary servitude. Some jobs are just better than others. Some employers are ass holes, too.

One thing I'll clarify is, my wife are nowhere close to rich. But we do have to hire people from time to time - plumber, electrician, auto mechanic, once a year yard care assistance, etc.
Self employed people, in particular, need clients.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Lliam Yeah; I know. "Rich" means different things to different people. It's all a matter of perspective.

[VIVANT]

I think it’s complicated. Jamie, I agree with you theoretically and I used to have this view full stop and I def think it is as things should be understood but three are facets. Many people need help disabled elderly even cleaning people have other people clean their place bc there no time! And, given there are so many shitty jobs in life atm it can be a real choice to a person to have this as employment esp if self business.

I think goals is society can meet these needs and even then there will be people choosing to do these jobs I think the compensation should be correlate with the labor and the contribution. I think the fact we see cleaners who are part of what makes our world run as lower tier is exempletive of how discriminatory the structure of society currently is. Until we have self operating machines cleaning , it will people. And in a dignified world cleaning would be respected but people would still do it. I think provided people are respected and compensated as fairly as possible, it’s the persons choice and in many cases it is essential help not simply convenience.

So I agree with both of you within differing contexts 🙏🏼

[VIVANT]

I’m also fully Confident anyone Liam is a client for, is going to be very respected 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT Okay. 🧡

I fully agree with your second message!

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT What do you think about UBI? Rational and sensible, or flawed?

[VIVANT]

All of the above. Basically the same situation— it’s nuanced. I’m troubled by the idea of relying on people who created or support or enforce such vast discrepancies in quality of life wealth etc being responsible for implementing something like UBI. As it is I can only see this administered in malicious sets and it isn’t empowering it would be used as a means of co trolling people electronically beyond our current situation. Like good idea in the right context and we’re not in it but it doesn’t mean I don’t think something like this is worth fighting for. No person should be living in such an Acute way where they are one emergency say from homelessness bankruptcy suicide etc

I think it prob makes more sense atm to fight to secure things like health care housing freedom from violencexturts t etc as a human right bc just comes from a place of power. I’m really not sure how toasted this bc there are millions who really would be saved by a ubi but of course what user happening is to compensate prices will be reused hen some excuse to take away ubi then everyone is worse off. Much like inflation and increased interest taxes but with stagnant wages. I have to think this over bc I’m not comfortable with the well yes but no. So she’ll we say to be continued——plus I have to feed Feivel and I’m multi tasking which I suck at 😬

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT Understandable! Haha; don't worry.

You make a lot of great points, and I agree with all of them!

I think universal healthcare is extremely important. And while Obamacare did have some good points, it is definitely not the best plan that we could have done.

I also believe in #freecollege for everyone, because I believe that education is the great equalizer of opportunity. But along with that should come less frills. I don't believe that college campuses need to be "resorts."

Having said that, I do NOT believe in retroactive student loan bailouts. Those people took a loan because they wanted to have the privilege of going to college and being in a higher social bracket and having everything that comes along with that. That was a choice. Other people such as myself chose to simply accept their plebian status and reject the strings-attached offer of debt slavery. We all make choices in life. I think that people should accept the consequences for those choices. I have accepted mine. (I have less qualifications and less economic opportunity.)

Anyway, feel free to comment later if you wish! :)

[TrueConfection]

I do all the picking up and straightening up, all laundry, all the deep cleaning (bathroom, fridge, ovens), furniture polishing, bed making, bill paying, meal planning, grocery shopping, weeding, cooking.

I get some help with (but I still do these); dishes, vacuuming, dusting, taking care of the pets, window washing, planting, mowing, garbage, mail collection, leaf raking, snow removal, fire wood stacking.

I'm sure there's more. 😕

[TrueConfection]

I should say my husband helps with dishes and taking care of the pets. He does the majority of the grass cutting, leaf raking, snow removal, firewood stacking, and vacuuming. I'm very grateful not to have to do all of those things! I used to do all the raking and mowing, but he's really stepped it up over the past 2 years. My kids also help with all of the nonexclusive items.

[DizzyDesii]

I’m not but I already know what i want to split. I’ll wash/dry the laundry and i’ll wash the dishes. He can fold the clothes and dry the dishes. I’d buy the groceries but prefer he cooks. I’ll clean the living room but prefer he cleans the bathroom. I’ll vaacum as long as he sweeps/mops. I’ll check the mail and he can mow the lawn.

[LazerBean]

We don't really have chores that the other would never do. I'm a housewife so almost everything is mine by default, but if things are going crazy because of lots of travel or company or whatever he will help me if I need it.

[midnightmoon05]

My cleaning ladies charge $260 upstairs (2000 sq feet) 2Xs a month.
yours is cheap!!!

[Lliam]

Our house is only 1600 sq ft and she doesn't have to do the whole house. She charges $20 per hr but we started paying her $25.

[JazzGirl27]

Clean bathroom, fold clothes, sweep and mop. We alternate with cleaning kitchen, living room and making the bed

[exitseven]

Anything having to do with mechanics, plumbing, electrical, HVAC,. I also vacuum and do laundry

[slatyb]

Earning a paycheck, taking the trash out, paying bills, planning entertainment.

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

ALL OF THEM!!!
Never ever go 50/50 Do 100% and never complain. Then both of you will be doing things together all the time. Laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, camping, beach, washing car...

[Lliam]

Neither my wife nor I want to to everything. We have an arrangement that makes us both happy.

[Sparkie460]

I do all the shopping, using the list she makes up. I take care of the yard. I take out the trash. I do all the home improvements that I know how to do. I wash and dry the laundry, she folds the clothes and puts them away.

[Abdulwahh]

Im willing to assist her as long as she can cook