Please give advice (unrequited love)?

[Anonymous]

So for about 1.5 years I’ve been friends with this guy. Eventually I began to like him but didn’t say anything to be sure. Eventually, I was sure and told him. I’m assuming feelings were not mutual because he did not tell me they were and we remained friends.
I’m pretty sure he is dating (single but dating).
I don't know I guess I say all that to say is some days I feel like shit, some days I feel great, some days I’m ok,

I feel like I ruined a good/smooth friendship by expressing my feelings (I had a feeling he wasn’t interested in the same way but still felt the need to tell him)

Has anyone experienced this?
Do y’all have any advice or suggestions?

[DaveJord]

So I will give you the same advice I give all the people who ask these questions about why can't a guy and girl just be friends and is that even a real thing.

I always say I personally have never been friends with a girl I have not been sexually attracted to, and I only hung around until she made it clear it was never going to happen. Once she says she want to be just friends I cut her loose, because I got no time for women that just want to be my friend when I want more. It just to frustrating to subject yourself to constantly being reminded of the rejection because that is what it is.

I always tell the guys that if he had feelings then he needs to make that clear and if she is not interests in dating and only wants to be friends cut her loose... always avoid and do everything you can to stay out of the friend zone trap, because it only ends in heart break.

So honestly your the first women I have come across with this issue, mostly it is always guys. So you made your feeling known and I applaud you for having more courage and intestinal fortitude then most of these limp dick guys! So you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to take the chance. I got to be honest if he left you hanging without an answer that is really unacceptable. You deserve better than that from a friend, but then again were you really friends and can a guy and girl really just be friends? I say no, but many people disagree with me, I just know I can not just be friends with women if I am attracted to her physically, sure I would say I am friends with her... but honestly we are just acquaintances that get along in all truth. There are all types of friends, work friends, friends of the family, Facebook friends, old highschool friends. But so very few are actually real and true friends and that goes for guys as much as women.

I think you showed a lot of courage and I would say you did the right thing, and I would not down on yourself at all, because at the end of the day this guy doesn't deserve you and it mostly has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you.

So I would advise that you give this guy space and he if he ever reaches out to you make your intentions clear to him and set boundaries in how you would like to proceed. But if you have feelings for this guy and you know it, do not accept anything less than what you deserve from a man. Don't consistently subject your self to frustration of hang around hoping for more because it is most likely not going to happen and even if you hook up, it could end in heart ache if you do not set boundaries.

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

I had a dear female friend tell me she liked me. I did not feel the same. And I told someone I like her and she did not feel the same.
I think its good to get it out of the system. It seems we start piling on the fantasies and our mind gets blinded and we lose control. The confession slaps all that off the hood of the car so we can see where we need to go once again.
Getting back to reality, routine, new routine, is great therapy.

I read somewhere and have experienced the fact of it that spending time with ANYONE can start feelings developing. Something about Oxitocine and what not. So basically its a drug effect. It is also why we suffer withdraws when they are gone.
You will be ok. Just takes a bit of time for the system to reset. Keep reminding yourself that, every time you feel down. Like a cold. You know that is not the real you that feels like crap and its going to be over soon.

[Chazmatazz269]

Yeah. It’s a bad feeling. Eventually i learned to just end the “friendship” because it made me uncomfortable, and her a little too in at least one case. It’s a bummer, but i believe you did the right thing despite the results. I really believe true mutual friendships are the only wells from which true love springs. Otherwise the power dynamics are always out of balance.

[teamvic]

Your best bet is to stop spending time and talking to him
Because deep down you probably still have the small glimmer of hope that one day you'll be with him and if you keto talking to him. Whatever you liked about him won't go away. That is unless you find another person you like but it's easier said than done