My long-distance love's mom does not approve our relationship. What should I do?

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

I have a few crazy ideas to be honestly but most of them are financially impossible for me.

Sigh, i really love her too. she's almost like my childhood friend who i had a crush on since forever.

Would you maybe please give me another idea? What should i do?

Updates

1 y

Sorry boys but, @PrettyPriya been helpful the MOST. Thank you ALL for your helpful answers though! Thank you! FINGERS CROSSED, HOPE THIS RELATIONSHIP WILL HAPPEN!

Updates

1 y

FUCK THE RACISM AND STRICT PARENTS! Leah's mom DID NOT approve and made me and Leah BREAK UP!! 😭😭😭

[PrettyPriya]

What is exactly the reason she does not approve of your relationship? That would be helpful to know so that users can give better opinions as to why her mom has an issue and what possibly you can do.

LDRs are hard enough as it is. I understand this is a childhood crush but what sort of quality of relationship do you have if it is long distance? I assume you get to see her sometimes? How often? Is there any chance that the distance will change at some point?

These are all questions I would be asking myself to determine if it was worth it. Even if you love someone, you can still look at it objectively as to whether it is worth the effort and time if it ends up not yielding a quality relationship some day. By quality, I mean what is normal for most people.

A relationship can only survive like this for so long. Eventually, one of the two in the relationship typically get bored or meet someone and they see the potential and advantage of being able to date someone in person.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

You're right but, i did not held the description too long if you know what i mean.

First line, i don't know. Leah (my LDR girlfriend) said that her mom does not approve it because i was... One, too far and two, i am white. I don't know why but she just said these. Leah also told me that she didn't said why.

I mean, we were friends for almost 8 years and started dating 1 and a half years ago.
As i am in Turkey, it's just zoom, snapchat and sometimes discord voicechats since then. We met in a groupchat in discord.

I am not certain about if it's gonna change because she loves me, i love her and we plan to meet irl someday. I am gathering money and so she does too. We even talked about marriage because we also had some "special" times and i am her FIRST TIME, y'know.

She also told me that i could date someone else till we figure this out but i said no, i won't cheat on you whatever happens. She just said she's okay with it but i am not.

So, that's that. I hope it helped a little for my case.

[PrettyPriya]

Thanks so much for the extra details. Okay, so this is something that she is going to have to talk to her parents (specifically mother) and work out. There is no reason that race should play into this. However, it often does. That is such an old way of thinking.

There is little you can do from where you are at to change her mind. That will be up to your girlfriend to work that out. Ideally, you would meet her mom in person and let her get to know you so maybe her opinion would be different. I understand that isn't a possibility so that is why I say it will be up to your girlfriend to sort that.

As far as the relationship goes, LDRs are very difficult. If you are both content with the way things are, then that is great. My advice there is to make a plan for the future about meeting. That gives you something to look forward to and get excited about.

It doesn't have to be a definitive date right now. You can say "next year" or something. Then you can talk about what you will do. Maybe a weekend away. You can start talking about what it will be like, where you might eat, etc etc. Those are things that will keep you both engaged and excited.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Oh wow. That's for the sweet tips and informations.

Well, i hope that it will just work out. As i said, we are like Romeo and Juliette irl haha

[PrettyPriya]

You are most welcome! Sounds like you two will be a great match when you do finally get to meet. Until then, you can plan and talk about what it will be like when you do! 🙂

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

I totally agree!
Eh, FINGERS CROSSED! ❤️

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Miss? Can i ask you something in DMs? My Xper isn't enough to text... 🤔😔

[PrettyPriya]

Yes, of course. I can send a DM to you.

[PrettyPriya]

Ah, you have yours set so that I cannot send one. It is only for those you follow.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Oh? Well, i dont know how to change it. Wanna follow tho?

[PrettyPriya]

You can either follow me just until I can message you or go to settings and uncheck the box that says "allow messages from only those I follow". You can change it back or unfollow me once the DM has been sent.

I only follow a certain group of users that strictly has to do with moderator type things to keep my main inbox clean.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

I understand. And i found the setting for that. Now everyone can dm me without following me.

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂

[boredgal]

first of all, how old are you and how long have you been together?

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

I am 23 and it been almost 5 years.

[boredgal]

did you meet her parents already?

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Yes. They were seemed nice and all but now THIS happened out of nowhere

[boredgal]

maybe they're just being protective of their daughter. you should prove to them that you deserve their blessing.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

I wish. I am too far away to do so.

[boredgal]

aw, 5 years is very impressive tho. I hope you guys make it til the end

[JohnK123]

Oof sorry dude… kinda in one rn and I’m hoping we can meet soon

[Iron_Man]

Talk to your mother Be very serious

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

My mother ALREADY approves. Leah's mom does not.

[Iron_Man]

That’s up to the girlfriend then to convince her

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Sooo... I can't do anything from here, right mr Stark?

[Iron_Man]

You can meet the mother in person and put in your best effort

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

I did talked to her mom too but she still didn't change her mind.

[Iron_Man]

How old is the girl

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

20 y. o

[Iron_Man]

She’s old enough to make a decision

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Yeah i know but her mom is kinda strict.

[Iron_Man]

don’t know man give it four more weeks if nothing happens MoveOn

[Iron_Man]

Thanks for most helpful Award

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Of course, dude!

[Guy13]

Oh well…it’s an uphill battle now.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Yup. Totally. 😔

[Guy13]

Long haul and continued good treatment in Momma’s eye 👍

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Yup. I hope she will approve and we can get married. (me and my LDR girlfriend)

[Guy13]

Good Luck !!

[Anonymous]

That's not good.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Do tell.

[Opinion Owner]

Being long distance is hard enough as it is.