Is my boyfriend prioritising his friends over me?

[Anonymous]

I last saw my boyfriend 4 days ago, on Sunday. He told me at the time we should meet up again on Wednesday or Thursday. I asked him if he’d like to go out on Wednesday on Tuesday but he said he already had plans with a friend. He also went out with friends today (Thursday). Today he asked me if I was free to hang out at the weekend. I told him yes, and asked him which day- Saturday or Sunday. He replied with ‘I’ll let you know’. I asked him what it depends on, and he told me his friend wants to go hiking at the weekend and they didn’t decide which day yet. So he’ll hang out with me whichever day they don’t go basically. I kinda feel bad and second place to his friends right now, what do you think? Am I overreacting?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Not overreacting, but perhaps you just need to have a talk with him and think about what you want from the relationship with him.

Does it feel like he's prioritizing them over you? Do you have a preference for how often and how much you see him?

Do you feel like you need more contact with him than now, and what does that look like for you?

If it's important to you to know when on the weekend he can hang out now, ask if you can decide what day to hang out this weekend, and he and his friend can go hiking the other day - if they're flexible.

Perhaps your boyfriend offered his friend decide the day, but his friend needs to settle his schedule first before they make a final call.

It sounds like you have some insecurities and it might be helpful to get some professional advice, too. There's a lot that comes up for us as people during relationships and sometimes having a professional to process with is really helpful.