How to ask this to a guy?

[Anonymous]

Is it okay to ask a guy how long did his longest relationship last? (No other details just the duration coz I'm curious and i want to feel secure in this relationship not like he would break up any day)?

If okay, how do I ask this in the most gentlest and indirect manner?

[quaranta]

You can start casually talking about your past relationships if you had any, and how much they lasted, so it will look spontaneous to ask him about his durations. If you have no exes, you can talk about relationships of mutual friends or celebrities, or other people you both know, and put the accent on the duration topic.

However, the length alone doesn't mean much because the reasons for a relationship to fail could be many and not all the breakups are like "a random day, he broke up". The girl could be at faults too, dumping him, or cheating, or being madly triggerable about anything causing constant push and pull, etc. As well as long relationships don't mean any "healthy", there could be dynamics of clinginess and unbalancement that drag for very long, long term push and pulls because of constant arguments, even psychological abuse and addiction from the other side, etc.
So what you should make sure of is not much the length as much: how he handles conflicts. Check how he handles conflicts with his friends, what he did with his exes, how he copes with stressful situations about life, etc. It's in those moments that you detect how a person really is when the infatuation fades and the mask falls down. Check how good he is at communication during conflicts, how coherent and honest, how passive aggressive / revengeful, etc. Check also how settled and loyal he is with his long term friendships and family, that could give hints too.
Or simply, also, ask why his last relationships ended... Of course he will tell it's fault of his exes, but try to read that through the lines.

[hahahmm]

A better way to ask is to ask about his ex... the more similar you are to his ex, the more likely you end up in the same situation she did. I'm not talking about looks but personality/lifestyle stuff. Also some people learn.. I'd be more worried if the guy is never single for more than a minute... than I'd be if he had a long break like 1-2 years.

[hahahmm]

And keep in mind that some people NEVER want to talk about exes ever. So it's not a given a guy will even talk about it. If I'm in your shoes I would just make sure I have good standards for picking a guy and check if he fits all of that. See my mytakes for some tips -- I mean if you're not a "strong independent, I don't need a man" type woman.

[spartan55]

What in the world is this? First of all, regardless of how long his longest relationship was, that certainly doesn't mean yours is going to last that long. I don't understand your logic there. Second, why can't you just ask him directly? It's certainly not an unusual question... you girls are so weird I swear.

[nocturnalbreed]

Ask him what's the most meaningful relationship he had in the past.

[Anonymous]

Only after you get to know him.

[Asker]

Oh we been dating for 5 months now-

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, than just ask him in a casual way.

[In_Trance]

straight up