Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
I told a guy that I want to protect my emotional well being and that I don’t want to be used. I’m not looking for anything serious
he asked me ‘what’s the safest way to interact with me?’
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
So if you said that to me, I would think you are only looking for a hook up. I man if you told me you are not looking for anything serious... I mean you might as well say I am only interested in hook ups.
At that point I am not going to do the texting and weeks of back of forth... because you are not offering any relationship you are only offering sex. So I am not going to spend money on date, I want to know how to move forward in the safest way possible... to get to the sex as soon as possible.
So, what's the safest way to interact with you, and how do you want to proceed?
You want to meet for drinks in the lobby of a hotel, and if it goes well get a room... or what? But do not tell me that, and then expect me to text you for weeks until you feel comfortable about meeting for a cup of coffee.
Yeah he said he’ll end up liking me for nothing…. But I told him I wasn’t looking for sex or a relationship.
In the end he lost interest…
Yeah, I mean men have two speeds... in relationships. 1. Do it for Sex 2. Do it for the relationship.
But if you as woman, are not interested in sex, and you are not looking for relationship... I mean that is the definition of a woman that does not know what she wants... and these types will waste your time until they figure it out and then ghost on you later. Thats like 90% of the online dating population.
It's like a no-win situation for the man... no sex, no relationship then what's the point. At least he was nice about it, I hope.
He was very nice and patient but I haven’t heard from him in two days
Yeah, if he is anythng like me you never will... maybe after week or two he might come back to check in on you and see if you are in different place... but from this point forward its about sex for him... you basically told him you are not ready to date... and are more or less undatable at this time. I would get off the apps, and work on yourself first before exploring the dating world... given you state of mind it can be very bad for your mental health.
Only the worst types of guys, will be responsive to that type of situation and you can beat it will only be for all the wrong reasons.
What do you mean worst type of guys? He may be a bad one?
I wasn’t trying to date tho … just talk
Yeah, maybe he was... but the fact that he stopped persueing you means he is not going to waste you time or try to take advantage of you. Women that just want to talk online... will you can always find someone to talk to... but the they are only playing the long game. At some piont they are going to want to meet you.
I have done this with woman, talked and only talked thinking she would come around... but honestly all she wanted to do was talk, and therefore she was already getting what she wanted out of it. So, I just stopped talking to her, because I am not going to play some long game strategy for sex... especially after she already told me no relationship or sex.
So only the guys, that are desperate enough to just talk for every without any action, will be ones to do this type of thing and I would question their motivations for it. I mean people do not got online dating sites to just talk. People are not there to waste their time; they are looking for something.
I feel like he stopped pursuing me bc he actually wanted to use me. I ended up telling him that I was open to taking things slow… he asked me what does that entail and now I haven’t heard from him.
Did you reply with what that would entail? What did you say?
I just said getting to know eachother well…
Yeah, how well do you think you are going to get to know someone through text or phone calls?
If you really want to get to know someone then after a week or two of text, you would be willing to meet him in real life. Let me tell you I have been online for 2 years, if she is not willing to meet in person for the first two weeks or so... then obviously she is not really interested in really getting to know me.
She is just lonely and not unsure of what she wants, and i do not want to waste my time on someone like that... so I would not ghost I would just tell here I am not interested... and yes you got the vibe he was just looking for sex... but look at what you told him... not relationship or sex... so again why you online then?
I legit thought he would be happy that I’m considering taking things slow
I’m open to the possibility
Then meet him, you will learn more about him over 30-minute cup of coffee then you will through weeks of text... but you eliminated that possibility with you opening statements. Guys hate texting for weeks they want more than a pen pal. You do not need to go to dating websites to find people to talk to. Look we are just talking right here.
But you know …. I did tell him that I’m off work for a week and hinted at possibly meeting…. I asked if he was available and he said “depends on the day”….. so when he said that I felt turned down… or like he didn’t really want to idk… so I said “I was joking”….
Where to you live, I will talk to you for two weeks, as long as you are willing to make plans to get together for a first date within a reasonable time. Sex is not required but I want a real-life person in my life.
You just sound confused and not sure of what you really want... that can be very frustrating for a guy that does know what he wants.
Maybe. I’ll move on.. I don’t want to. 😞 but he deserves to find what he wants
I’ll go back to being a whore lol and finding male attention like I’ve been doing! Lol
That is the very true... you were not offering what he wants, but do not think it was just sex he wanted. He very easily could of wanted more, but you were not offering that from the start.
I wasn’t bc I didn’t want to get hurt or I didn’t want him to play me
I’ve just never had a guy want something genuine with me. If he “actually” did
So now you are being self-destructive, by destroying your chances of having something genuine before you ever get started from the go.
Follow and DM, I am I done with chatting here.
Hey we met up
I did get closure
He’s asking a valid question. He’s asking you what does he have to do to be with you because he clearly likes you and wants to go about it in a way which you’re safe and comfortable
I told him that I only wanted to be a placeholder until he found a gf… his answer was no
But in the end I did offer to take things slow and I apologized for not being reasonable on certain things. I was showing some red flags…. But he lost interest.
But clearly he didn’t like me enough
I would not say he did not like, you but what where you asking of him, and in exchange for what? What were you offering him? No sex, not relationship... that's not dating, so why are you trying to date guys?
What's the purpose, and point... if you want to have someone to go along with you and that ride, then you have to make it worthwhile.
@DaveJord no I was agreeing to be a placeholder … guys have used me as a placeholder emotionally
I asked if he wanted me as a placeholder until he finds a girlfriend and he said no…..
Thats good man then... I would of said no to that as well unless you were offering more.
A placeholder to me is friends with benefits situation, but as soon as you eliminate that then what's the point?
He doesn’t want to offend you?
He prob just wants to fuck
I agree.