If you come from a family of great wealth but don't want a romantic interest to know, how long do you think you could hide it?

[laurieluvsit]

Why would you want to hide it? ... because how will you know if someone you are romantically interested in is really interested in you and not the wealth?

Do you know the divorce rate for those in ultra high income brackets?

Does it mean you are forever trapped with the necessity of marrying into higher or equal status and can never have someone you fall in love with be of a middle or lower status?

... No, I'm not kidding!

No, you have to marry up or equal in status to be 100% sure it is not the money they are after

Just insist on a Prenup so you are not at risk

You can not and should not hide it, they will find out sooner than later. Go with your heart and your instincts and you will be OK

If you love them, then you should trust them and not worry about it

OTHER, see my comments below, or just open the "Romantic Wealth Debacle" Survey

[Anonymous]

A man yes, a woman however needs to feel her man is better than her, or she will likely belittle him and eventually drive him away or get rid of him.

Marriage requires a Love, Honor, and Respect.
Love is possible, Honor unfortunately is all but lost in our culture, and Respect too many of us confuse for admiration and thus think is something that must be earned.

This is what a 'rich' girl marrying a poor man tends to lose first for her standards having already been set out of his reach he will invariably fail here eventually. This removes the 2nd of the 3 pillars leaving only 'love', making the union unstable.

[laurieluvsit]

A Gold Star take, really

[Opinion Owner]

@laurieluvsit Its really quite sad, Show me a rich woman and I will show you a woman who's going to have a difficult time finding a stable partner.

Her viable selection of men is very small, and those men generally have by contrast an enormous viable selection of their own assuming they want to settle down at all given their wealth makes playing the field relatively easy.

[DeadlyCreed]

Many people assume your comment to be misogynistic, but I think it’s one of the best comments I’ve read on this site :D

[BoobMan]

I don't come from a family of great wealth, but from what I understand the rich tend to be more likely to be in lasting marriages than the general population.

[laurieluvsit]

"Even billionaires get divorced. Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates are living proof. In fact, it has been shown that America's richest billionaires have the same divorce rates as the average not-so-rich citizen"

"Billionaires (each worth at least $13.2 billion) have said “I do” a collective 72 times—35 of which ended in divorce, putting their rate at 49%"

[BoobMan]

Fair enough! I guess it's not that different after all then. I'd read somewhere that being married is becoming more of a "luxury good" in the sense that it's far more likely for college-educated and better off people than for those at lower income levels. But I suppose it's possible that it drops again for the super rich.

[BoobMan]

Here's the sort of think I remember seeing:

flowingdata.com/.../

Seems to imply that divorce is more likely amongst the non-affluent (which in this case is under $200K of income. Interesting stuff.

[zeitgeist057]

You can't hide it long at all, not if you are interacting with your family at all. You could have your own life be on the DL, or meet away from your home and resources, and take public transport to and from your dates, or rent an economy car or something if you wanted to go to some lengths.

But money is not just displayed by possessions. It affects your conversations, all your experiences in life, your exposure to arts and culture. You are not going to have an easy time hiding that for any significant period, and especially not once they meet any of your family members. You would have to keep them isolated and be very careful.

I personally don't think it's worth it to try to hide. You might want to downplay your wealth a bit for a few dates, go do some free or cheaper activities. Which is also good anyway as women are gaining independence and often prefer to carry their own weight in terms of the check, unless it's actually more expensive then it becomes awkward for them and a burden financially.

As for prenups, they can still get something after divorce usually, just not as much. It's best not to stress about them being interested in your wealth, or to understand your wealth is actually a part of you, just as your experiences are a part of you, your career, your philosophy or religion, etc. It's all these things that are not actually us, but pieces of who we are, that make up the whole and affect our lives. So yeah, it's okay if part of what someone falls for when they are falling for you is that you come from wealth, that's fine. If its the ONLY thing they are focused on, or their MAIN motivation, that's different.

And to answer your question literally (how long could I hide it): I could hide it for at least 6 months, but I wouldn't really want to because it would require deception/lying, which I think is counter-productive to creating intimacy. I could feel morally okay with not mentioning and avoiding displays of wealth for a few dates, or maybe as long as a month depending how intimate we were getting.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Not sure how the person with money feel but i can tell how i would feel.

I wouldn't be comfortable because we would want different things bc a super rich gal spending a vacation on island would be normal for her but for me it could mean like years of income and the number of lost paydays.

Even if she offers i would feel i am in debt.

And money will be barrier unless she's ok with having small pleasures of life than a lavish one.

But it's wrong to ask that of her , hence it will be barrier and we could be friends but not partners

Coming to hiding part well it would definitely depends on how you walk talk eat interact how much you spend and what things you order

[Anonymous]

Downplay it all.

Own a business? Say you are a business operations manager or that you work in customer service.

Lead Software Developer Engineer? Say you are a QA Test Engineer.

Have a Ferrari? Say you are leasing it or its rental or not really yours.

Have a fancy house or mansion? Say its rental.

Basically don't give them the idea, that you are richer than 90% of people or else you are indirectly asking to be used for your money. A fool and his or her money are soon to be parted.

[Opinion Owner]

If i was rich i would definitely not flaunt it or make it known, that i have like too much money.

[dustybiker]

I’d probably want to see how the relationship handles life's general blips. You can get an idea how money effects people just from a flat tire or a home leak. What people need vs want. How they make purchase for their own enjoyment. I’d need a few to judge. That would be a tough place to be in.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Just don't say nothing, or if they ask... its my families money not mine. My family has way more money than me but none of it is mine, so it means nothing. I wouldn't get anything anyways until they all pass on... so its not like it really matters how much they have.

[DryGermanGuy]

Well, uuusually (from what I have read anyway) it’s mostly people of rather similar status to meet, even just for their hobbies, interests and preferred places. The horse race in Ascot or the 1000$ dinner at a 3 star restaurant.
The Pretty Woman plot is Hollywood-only. 🙃

[exitseven]

There was a young woman who won a big lottery jackpot. She had to quit her job because people would try to kiss up to her. She was afraid to date anyone because she could not be sure he wasn't just in it for the money. She sounded almost sorry that she won. I don't know what I would do about it.

[mstbooblover]

God bless, being neither rich or poor I don't have to deal with such a problem. Being too wealthy seems to spoil the mind of most people: the very wealthy ones do not know the real value of plain work and earnings, and the poor ones being at best jealous.

Now, an intelligent wealthy person should in any case never rub it in. It's his or her behaviour in that field that probably will determine the kind of partner. My advice would be to neither display or hide their social status.

[Neilbud]

My advice would be to spend the beginning parts of a relationship just getting to know them and building bonds. Something like that can not be hidden forever, and the hints will come in time. But if they don't want to spend time with you and just wants money, those red flags will come out as well. Time will reveal all lies if you are patient enough.

[DizzyDesii]

If we were rich, we wouldn't make it obvious by buying a mansion and a dozen cars so he’d never know. So its just naturally hidden. But if we marry, he would be signing a prenup regardless of if i was rich

[mobiusforniner]

Agree. Rich is a relative term. Some people have expensive phones, computers or gaming consoles... or nice cars. I have a nice house and a plane yet drive a 32 year old beeter... have a cheap phone, a 12 yr old computer and a Nintendo 64

[MrPickles13]

I think go with what your instincts tell you in terms of when to mentioned it. I think it's a fair thing to keep hidden just so you know it's you they are interested in.

However I feel like it is fair and reasonable to want a prenup. And well tbh in many relationships without such large assets it would probably be worth having as it just protects both people.

[RavVid]

Prenups are essential because divorce settlements haven't caught up with the divorce rates.

As for hiding your wealth why bother? If the girl is the wealthy partner than a lot of guys would dip out.

[Th3ft]

I would hope that if you are smart enough to have that much money then you are also smart enough to choose a healthy relationship… but I get that that is not always the case… it sucks how those are real questions for some people though!!

[Bmories99]

My family is not extremely wealthy but we have enough to live comfortably and we have been blessed. As a family we just never really flaunted it at all. The only nutty part about us is that we all (the kids, our spouses, and my parents) get along with each other and help each other when needed. We enjoy spending time together and most of all joking around each other. As each of my siblings and I married we spent time with each prospective spouse and got to know them and they got to know us.

[ElementoP]

I personally don't give a shit about love unless it comes naturally. Which it did, but if it wasn't for her I'd happily take all the gold diggers and hurt them worse than they could possibly imagine when I use them and throw them away with nothing to show for it but shame

[ArtemisSilver]

I guess I could hide it pretty well, I have an ascetic lifestyle and would be new money if I got rich though.

If I were already rich a prenup would be in order, regardless of feelings because people shouldn't expect to walk away with more than they put into a relationship.

[Jaximus-Lion]

Now days! Family sue each other just to get money 🤷‍♂️. So either a prenup, find someone that is wealthy too or say absolutely nothing

[TheSpaceGnome]

Hide it until marriage, reveal and prenup during marriage paper signing. You only need to hide it long enough to figure out if they love you, after that hiding it is pointless.

[Juxtapose]

How is she going to tell? I would specifically live in a trailer and dress down, etc to hide my wealth. I would also never get married either.

She would find out, after she was with me for being me for a few years at least.

[mobiusforniner]

Considering I've asked girls to fly with me in my privately owned aircraft to an island for dinner... i guess i dont hide it.

[Jamie05rhs]

You shouldn't do that, bro. I mean, unless you really want to. But you're not going to catch a quality woman that way. You'll just attract a lot of users.

[mobiusforniner]

@Jamie05rhs those were my single days man. It was fun. Met some users. Met some awesome women too. I married one of those

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh, okay! Great!

[Avicenna]

In today's world, it would be very hard to hide it at all. Maybe if you had a different last name and lived modestly.

[Twalli]

Did you see the Joe Millionaire reboot? Wealth is a concern in relationships. You shouldn't make it a big focus. My parents are rich, I as m not. I only use my money for my relationships, but tell my SO that I am not wanting for anything.

[Midgetmcwidget]

Probably when you are comfortable enough with them, know they are genuine

[FunkyMonkee]

Until she sees my swimming pool filled with thousand dollar bills. At that point, the jig is up!

[love_conquers_lust]

Probably not. Wouldn’t matter to me anyway. What I want most in life can’t be bought by anyone right now.

[Alex8736]

By not talking about money. The one's who brag about having a lot really even have 2 nickels to rub together but the modest one's keep things simple and just go with the flow

[rabbitzzz]

She will never know about the stash of bitcoins.

[maximumpower]

Depends upon the locale and family fame.
So-called "celebs" can't hide unless they're c or d-list types.

[motownplayer2000]

As long as want too. Lol if I don’t want someone to know something, they won’t know. No matter what

[Mark987]

Just act as humble as possible in every situation. Don't act like you're better than anyone.

[CaptainSmartass]

I'd have her sign a prenup.

Simples...

[Finchie40]

Cuz most girl’s chase men just for their money and wealth

[Anonymous]

I am independent and always have been. Get to know her that way.

[WhiteMamba11]

Never start off anything on a lie you will feel ashamed the whole time and the little lie will manifest into something it shouldn’t have

[lightbulb27]

I couldn’t hide it long nor would I want to.

[Wise4myage]

Damn, I love your questions. :)

[Jamie05rhs]

Keep it a secret for as long as you possibly can.

[LEGENDARY4200]

Probably for a long time

[Bklynbadboy12]

I probably couldn't hide it very long

[jimmy2]

Always love your pics dear