How can I be less boring in conversation?

[RocketGal]

Two days ago my boyfriend told me he’s bored. He said that he is tired of “How’s your day” “What did you do”. We’ve been together for 2 1/2 years. He says when I talk I more quantity then quality and that he doesn’t feel interested. I am so much fun around my friends and I think it’s because I have anxiety around him that if I’m not the perfect girl he will leave me (I have no idea why I feel this). I don’t want to see him hurt or unhappy, what should I do to be more interesting and engaging?

For reference we have been doing long distance for 2 1/2 years but we still try and visit for a few days a month.

[PrettyPriya]

Okay, so my best advice if you see each other only a few days a month, plan something exciting to do for your visit together. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean it has to be expensive, but think of some unique things and plan them TOGETHER.

That will give you lots to talk about and also look forward to! It would make for some interesting conversation when you are not able to be together. For example, think of something you both like doing. Let's say you both like bike rides.

You can suggest that for the next time and then both talk about a plan for that. Like, where you will go? Look at maps. Plan a stop for lunch or something. Maybe throw around a few ideas. It is something you can both get involved with and plan over time. Maybe you go "oh! I was out and saw this great spot that would be on our route".

Again, this is just a simple example. I have always thought long distance to be tough, so it is about creating some excitement and things to look forward to. That will bring plenty of conversation.

[FilmGuy93]

Don't be afraid to have opinions on things. A lot of women are absolutely petrified at the idea of expressing their thoughts, but that's a really important part of dating a man. He has to be able to identify aspects of your personality to connect with and he can't do that if you are constantly giving him non-answers to everything he asks.

I'm talking to a woman right now who, as much as I enjoy talking with her because of how well we get along, I know very little about because she "likes all genres of music," "has interests that constantly change" and isn't especially happy in the city she lives in because she "likes more variety."

If someone asked me to tell them about her, I wouldn't know what to say. She's nice, polite, pretty, very demure. There's nothing bad I could say; I just don't know anything about who she is as a woman.

[caring__1]

Communication is not talking at people; it's seeking a deeper connection through understanding. Show curiosity to discover how his experiences impact him. Facilitating the other person's exploration and discovery takes a lot of the pressure off of you. Just be observant and seek clarification when what you see or hear can be interpreted in multiple ways. By showing interest, that will draw him closer. Here are some questions you can use to dig deeper:

In what way?

Give me some examples?

How might that choice impact you and others?

What other options might be available?

What do you see as the pros and cons of the options?

Which option makes most sense to you and for what reasons?

[RocketGal]

Best response yet! Thank you

[caring__1]

You're welcome.

[Guy13]

Less talking and more doing is the answer there. He tired of talking as all men begrudgingly listen through it and try to nod and grunt at appropriate times. Intermix FUN (doing) with SOME conversation.-quiet is fine too... in fact quiet together say walking around the lake UNNERVES a guy. I toss out jokes like some scared little boy !!

Make sense?

[RocketGal]

For me since we are long distance I feel like the only way to connect us is conversation. I just need to figure out how to deepen that conversation

[Guy13]

Long distance and conversation such as that means there is either another fresh electronic connection OR local "squeeze"... too me

[joeldalton]

How can you still have anxiety after 2 1/2 years? Find something to be interesting. A hobby, read books, engage in conversation.

[Anonymous]

Try being more anti sjw. Own the libs, talk about movies or games you like etc.

[Opinion Owner]

Ignore the person who disliked my comment, my suggestion will probably work unless your boyfriend is a liberal.

[RocketGal]

well anyone in there sane mind would be a liberal so

[Opinion Owner]

The sane ones are right leaning or at worst centrist. But you do you, I just tried to give some good conversation topics me and my friends like.