Why do abusers, rather emotional, verbal or physical abuses, jump from relationship to relationship rather than getting help/therapy?

[Anonymous]

It’s like they purposely look for new victims once the one they had finally gives up on them.

[Anonymous]

Because they don't believe they have done anything wrong, so they don't see they need help. I know someone who uses people, threatens them, lies constantly, makes up stories. When you call them out for such behaviours and you show them proof, they act like they are the victim and haven't done anything wrong and than they start accusing you off doing them wrong and doing everything to them what they have done to you.

They genuinely don't believe they are an abuser.

[Asker]

Yea, unfortunately my best friend dealt with physical abuse for the past three years and it wasn’t until she got pregnant by him this year, she’s due in a few weeks, that she left him for good for the safety of her child because he abused her while pregnant. She found out he’s already dating another girl. She left him back in June (beginning of summer) they have mutual friends so that’s how she knows. After texting her from multiple text free numbers, claiming to be sorry and her not responding but just continuing to ignore him and block him, It’s like since he knew she was finally over his manipulation, abuse and games he went to find someone new to play his abuse on.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I'm glad she was able to escape. His a dirtbag for putting your friend what he did especially abusing her while she was pregnant what a c**t

My ex whom I am currently pregnant with his baby. My doctor heard the way he was speaking and the things he was saying on the phone and how he was accusing me of cheating on him and the baby not being his even though he admitted we had sex at the time I fell pregnant. My doctor asked me if this was a guy I want to be around my baby and in that moment a lightswitch went off for me and made me see no he isn't although he is the baby's biological father he definitely isn't someone I want around my baby. I thankfully haven't heard from my ex but I have no doubt he is out there sleeping with other people.

Your friends ex isn't sorry. He is just trying to manipulate her so he can continue the abuse

[Asker]

Sorry to hear about your situation as well but at least the both of you realized you and your unborn children deserved better. My friend actually looks better and happier than ever compared to how depressed and down she’s looked for the past three years. She’s literally been glowing the remaining of her pregnancy since she left him. It’s like she’s slowly but surely healing herself or I should say allowing herself to be healed from three years of traumatic abuse.

[Opinion Owner]

It definitely sounds like she is healing and she is also very lucky to have such beautiful support from yourself and others who have also helped her and been there for her. The support you have all given to her would have helped her tremendously

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Hit the nail on the head.

They aren't looking to get fixed, they're looking FOR a fix.

[Asker]

Yea you can say that again. It’s horrible because I’m sure anyone who was previously with an abuser and they have a heart wants to warn the new person they’re now dealing with but everyone knows how that goes. They’re gonna find a way to make it seem as if you’re crazy and lying and it doesn’t help if they have already groomed the new person they’re dating because when you do tell them they’re not gonna believe you anyway or they’re gonna be delusional and believe “Just because he did it to you doesn’t mean he’ll do it to me.” When they really have no clue that the ride they’re agreeing to go on is about to be never ending and painful.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

If the other person is an adult, then well, they're entitled to make their mistakes.

It rarely goes well trying to save someone from an abusive relationship.

I've tried saving my father, but he's head over heels for my mother despite her abuse and he also refused to have a relationship with me unless I go back to my mother.

I've been no contact with my narcissist mother for three or four years, and I only see my father once a week and we don't really talk.

Neither know where I live.

Narcissist people aren't worth the effort. And unfortunately their victims might choose to stay with them. Nothing you can do but move on and live your life for yourself.

[DubiousIntentions]

They probably don't think that there is anything wrong with them and that it's the other person who is at fault. But it makes you wonder why this type of person always seems to attract the women.

[LazerBean]

Because there are so many global people who allow them to.

[Guy13]

Often...

[Guy13]

It is a way to avoid the pain. It is also a way to catch the "next buzz" of a fresh relationship. Narcissists are famous for this and they start the gaslighting etc all over again on the next soul...

[Asker]

But what pain are they going through bc it seems like they put their victims through most/majority of the pain. They’re the ones causing others pain.

[Guy13]

I agree. Mask the pain is better. It is called Masking. It was you and not them... you're still single and they have New... make sense now?