We broke up on bad terms but was my reply back fair?

[Anonymous]

After his ''Oh you're not ready for commitment'' statement with a mocking tone, this was my reply:

Well then you're not ready to ever be a real strong man and never were. You're a cowardly little girl and you're small. I had to fake it the whole time (I lied on that part). You suck too. I'm now demoting you to blocked ex boyfriend.

Who the hell he thinks he is to dictate when I feel ready for something or not. I was hurt, super furious and so I replied back. Was my answer fair?

[Account]

You didn't have to go to great lengths to hurt him back.
I know you are young and I understand your feelings were hurt a lot, but hate cultivates hate and I think you are mostly harming your own self without even realizing it.
I am sorry you feel that way though, you need time to heal from that, I think you should avoid contacting him.
I know you blocked him, but you will be tempted to contact him again, please refrain doing so and keep your mind busy as much as possible.

[Asker]

After what he told me and denied me commitment (one of the worst way to insult a woman), I never want to hear from him again. It wouldn't make sense to still talk to a man that will never have kids with me. There is no point.

[Account]

I am sorry about that, girl. I wish you a quick recovery, I know that it hurts a lot, but eventually you will get over it.

[Vegasrunner]

No your answer was typical overaction emotional female answer. Not to mention how can you judge his tone via text?

[Asker]

It wasn't via text. It was in person.

[Vegasrunner]

@asker Gotcha. Why were you not ready for a commitment?

[Vegasrunner]

@asker Gotcha. Why weren't you ready for a commitment?

[Asker]

The only single person that feels whether they are ready for commitment or not is the very person, no one else. Just because my ex boyfriend said that doesn't mean I'm not ready.

[Vegasrunner]

@asker TY for sharing however that wasn't my question. I'm asking you why you weren't ready for a commitment, or are you saying that you were seeing multiple men while seeing your ex boyfriend?

[Asker]

Where on earth did you get that information that I was seeing multiple men? I wasn't. Stop assuming things.

[Vegasrunner]

@asker The fact that I'm asking you a question negates any assumptions. I'm simply waiting for you to supply an answer.

[Asker]

I did answer it. No, I was never seeing multiple men. He said I'm not ready for a commitment because he thought I should do more elaborated meals and know more about fixing things in the house, which I thought it was BS. This was an excuse given to already failed relationship. He wanted out and used a cop-out line so I could break up instead of him breaking up.

[Asker]

Well if anything, he's the one not ready for these valid reasons (at least mine would have made more sense):
He used to ask me for money a couple times for no real valid reason
He was late in paying his own bills
He had a past history of only lasting 4-6 months in a relationship and then dating again

[Vegasrunner]

@asker So he has a good point. He articulated what he wanted in a partner and you dismissed it? Did you attempt to prepare more eloborate meals or learn more about fixing things?

[Asker]

I already broke up with him. I don't care about learning chef level recipes nor fixing every single thing in the house nor pleasing someone to be approved. Either they like me for who I am (serious, dedicated, good cook but not chef level and hardworker) or they can take a hike.

[Vegasrunner]

@asker Well then you answered your own question. No your reply wasn't fair. He gave you his requirements for a partner and you were unable to meet them, so he's telling you he doesn't like you "for who you are" and that you need to improve. I dont think either of you is at fault. Your boyfriend is searching for a women that brings some sort of value to the table and you're looking for a man that has lower standards. Happy hunting.

[Levin]

I don't think it's a question of fairness in your reply.

You were clearly trying to hurt him back.

[Asker]

Yes. He hurt me with what hurts any women, purposely denying us commitment with a mocking tone. He expected me to then still be his girlfriend.
So I hurt him back with what hurts most men; mocking their performance, provider skills and strength.

[KrakenAttackin]

Op... if you do have kids it will be by different men and than you will need to find a beta provider to pay for your neurosis and bad decision making.

[Asker]

@KrakenAttackin
Do you have something personally against us?

[FilmGuy93]

I have absolutely no idea what the conversation leading up to these comments was like.

[Asker]

It started when he asked me for money for the 3rd time, I said no and we were arguing once again. Then he said that with a mocking tone of voice. If anyone isn't ready for commitment it should be him? Why would a man ask a girlfriend for money if he isn't thinking about committing to me and wasted my time?

[FilmGuy93]

Because he needs money? When someone needs money, it doesn't matter where they get it. It sounds like this relationship was super unhealthy, so it's probably better that things have ended.

[Asker]

yeah when he made that comment, for me it was a ''What did you just say'' (an ''Oh no, you didn't'') moment. I had enough.

[Anonymous]

Girl you just did what he expected from you. He wants to see your u angry n sad.

[Asker]

I wanted to hurt him where it hurts him the most, hurt him for wasting my time for nothing. Tell any woman that or ''oh I'll never have kids with you'', you really think she'll happily stay being your girlfriend and still want you?

[Opinion Owner]

But girl your words can't hurt him... but your smile does.

"Good luck for your future 😊"

This line hurt him more than your angry reply

[Asker]

I guess so. It's hard to think straight and clear when you've been blasted with hurtful words and there is so much anger and hurt. I've blocked him on all my pages.

[Opinion Owner]

I totally feel you ma'am...
But ma'am you should learn how to control anger. That's when you lost most of the life bettals...

[Rockstarrrrr]

I think you roasted him really well 👏

[Asker]

I guess it's the fair equivalent. That has got to be a no brainer. I can't think of any woman that wouldn't be hurt by that, getting denied commitment and kids.
Just like no man wants to be insulted for his providing skills, performance or compared to a girl.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Yeah I think it's fair

[KrakenAttackin]

Well, your reply was typically cunty.

[Asker]

What was I going to do, say nothing and still stay as his girlfriend? What he said was cruel too.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... "You are not ready for commitment", tells me you have been "talking" to other men and he caught you.

[Asker]

Nope idiot, nope. Stop assuming things. I never cheated, flirted nor gave other reasons. If anyone isn't ready for commitment it should be him. He asked me for money on 3 different occasions and obviously I said no.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... I bet his story is very different from yours.

[KrakenAttackin]

And if he is such an awful idiot why did you let him regularly fill you with his seed?

[Asker]

Well because I has some hope and thought things would change for the better. They didn't. I wasted another year for nothing.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... waste another year? Yeah, I guess the wall is fast approaching.

[KrakenAttackin]

Also, trying to change someone is foolish. This is so typical of modern women and it is also why you fail.

[Asker]

Well fortunately many of my female in the family stopped their period when they were nearly 60 years old. A couple of them had their last child in their 40's and they had to get operated to stop getting pregnant.
But yeah, I don't want to have it that old either. I have every rights to want to form a family. What's wrong with that?

[Asker]

I'm going to add something:
He actually lied in the very beginning when we met. He said he wanted commitment and kids. He lied.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... no, he didn't lie, he just found out who you really were after you stopped acting.

[KrakenAttackin]

Getting more and more angry and more desperate, and "increasing your standards", are all loosing strategies for women fighting the clock. You will end up with a beta provider whom you genuinely detest, treat awfully, and eventually divorce because you "need more". So predictable.

[Asker]

Whatever you pessimist misogynist. You're not worthy of my time. Bye.

[msc545]

You sort of overreacted I think.

[Asker]

Really? What was I suppose to do, pretend he didn't say anything and still be happy that he'll likely never commit to me, wasted 3 years of my life for nothing and continue being his girlfriend after he said that?

I can't think of any woman that wouldn't be hurt if their boyfriend said that and denied them commitment.

[msc545]

I understand you were hurt and angry, and I would have been too had someone done that to me. I just think your response was over the top and unnecessary; you could have done it in a classier way.

[chicosuave]

You poor thang

[Asker]

He didn't like my reply either. I guess it's even.