Is he a daddy’s boy?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are dating for 1.5 years now. He used to always hate spending time with his father. However he had a very good relationship with his mother. So do I. His mother is very sensible, elegant and sweet lady. Nowadays he has started a weird relationship with his father. Every day his father would call him and they will talk for 2/3 hours. Every day. Sometimes this goes up to 3/4 hours a day. Now my point is I am never jealous or upset with his family but how long I should take this father son mobile conversation as a sign of healthy relationship? I tried to talk to him but he blamed it on me by saying I am jealous and I can’t see him having good relationship with his family.! Also we are living together for 1year now. So he has always a point that we are always spending time together which is completely wrong. I am a full time student and he is so. We hardly see each other on weekdays due to our busy scheduling. I am so upset that I really don’t know how to look at this issue. Please help me to understand am I the wrong one and how should I deal with it? (To be noted: his father is a bully and he never had a good relationship with his son)

[Avicenna]

His father will trip up. Say nothing and watch it happen. Then hopefully he'll get a clue

[Asker]

Thanks. I would take this suggestion. 😊

[Guy13]

He talks to his Dad and it upsets you ⁉️

[Guy13]

You guys have plenty of time together, right?

[Asker]

Not actually. When he goes to bed around 10pm and I work till 11pm so by the time I come home he’s sleeping. He leaves for work at 5:40am and I go to school at 6am so in the morning we are always in rush. On weekends normally he spends time with his father working on his house renovation. And he works on Saturdays.

[Guy13]

Wow, this is a difficult situation. Sit down and make a weekly schedule by hours. Block out your Time. See if he follows it for a month. YOur boyfriend and Dad were not close growing up but now they are?
You think his Dad is trying to control your relationship. It is a little complicated

[Asker]

Not really. His father and I get along. He loves my cooking and whenever dad gets free time he would buy stuffs and ask me to cook something nice. I respect him a lot. But somewhere I am feeling like his relationship with his father is becoming way too nosy. Why would my partner has to share everything about us to his father! That bothers me so much. Also I feel like I’m no where in his priority stack that he doesn’t even ask me how my day is going. I am really bothered with this

[Guy13]

You’re right. Your boyfriend needs to draw lines. Perhaps, asking where you are in his priorities? What he’s sharing with his Dad? Etc.

Are you two on a lease together? Family supported household or you two paying everything?

[Asker]

I think his dad is trying to control his life. I won’t mind if it was for a good reason but it is hurting our quality time. I don’t know how should I approach tbh. Im brown and he’s white so sometimes communication can be a little tough for me. I don’t know which way I should approach to him that I don’t hate his father but I am feeling like nobody in his life. I don’t want to hurt him with my words. Fyi he shares everything to his father so I don’t want to be a bitch

[Asker]

He owns the house. I am helping him with mortgage. I pay my food and stuff. He does groceries too. I normally cook for both of us. So he always wants to pay for the groceries.

[Guy13]

What does his Mom say?

[Asker]

I never brought it up with his mother. she is a very sweet and motherly woman. I don’t know whether I should speak to her about this. I don’t think it will look decent.

[Guy13]

You are stuck for sure. I don't know but I hope it all turns out to be what you want.

[Iron_Man]

Just let it go