My boyfriend doesn't have a job. What is the best course of action for me to take?

[Anonymous]

Boyfriend is 29 and haven't had any job in his life. I'm 20 and still in college. He's just waiting for his degree so he could start working. I support him about his plans for his career. There's no problem at all. When we eat, we pay for our own meal. We're not like other stories where I support his material needs. I just wanna know what would you guys do if you're in my position. Also, we're in an LDR and planning to meet as soon as possible. But, I admit that sometimes, I get embarrassed when my family brings up the fact the he doesn't have a job despite his age. It's a bit hard for me because my siblings and their partners are all achievers.

Updates

+1 y

Additional info: his family's source of income is from the apartments that his mom's owns. And he's an only child.

[Vanidal]

Does your boyfriend's father a decent father figure?
I found that most, I'm sorry, low quality men derived from low quality father.
I myself is an example.
Call me a man-child if you like.
I realize it late but at least I realize it.
Was like a teenage but with adult appearance.
All because of my newfound late in life sense of freedom. But my age 'demands' me to not behave that way.
Now I'm struggling to bounce back.
I broke my girlfriend because we're both children of bad parenting. We're together because of loneliness. No shared vision. Just together in the present moment.
I realize I want to go far, but she didn't.
I found that she didn't have the drive to go out of her comfort zone.
And I can't make her.
So, I left her.
I have finished my study though.
But I lack the confidence to achieve more than what I think could be. And that's less than what I want myself could be.
Though, I'm getting better.
Taking responsibilities better.
Well, if you want to help him, find something that sparks his drive to improve himself in life. And make sure that you're there. Both to assist him and to see him if he would respect you.
If he doesn't respect you and treat you like a ladder, leave him. If he doesn't want to go out of his comfort zone, leave him. But do leave notes as to why you think it's better to leave him, both for you and for him.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your input!

Yes, his father wasn't entirely a decent father figure. If anything, he hate him. .

Yup, that's what I thought so — to be there for him.

Anyway, I really do appreciate your input about this concern of mine. And I'm glad that you're trying to improve yourself. As a person who have a partner who's in the same situation as you, I can say that's something to be proud of.

[Vanidal]

Thank you. I hope your effort will be fruitful.
Don't forget that it has to be his decision to change himself.
Don't forget to take care of yourself.
Don't blame yourself for something that's not your mistake.
Be well.

[hyperben]

I dont have a job, I ski all winter and climb all summer, I dont take money from anyone and I live life on my terms (more or less)

If he is happy, content and confident, has inner peace and knows himself this is infinitely better than being crushed by a job he is unhappy in. I know people will call me a slacker or disagree with me in some way, thats cool, if you are grinding your life away missing out on life to attend a job, then I'm afraid to say your opinion is only really valid to you.

I find the people who offer critique on my way of life have very little understanding of the sacrifices I made in a different phase of life to get where I am today, ultimately, the opinion of your family shouldn't really influence your feeling to your boyfriend (I know this is easier said that done though!). If you are happy together and make a great team, regardless of employment or status, this is something that you should try to cherish for as long as you can, real happiness is quite rare at the moment.

[ArrowheadSW]

How far is he from his college degree? Is it in a field where he can find a job? This isn't necessarily a bad thing yet... Depends what he ends up doing.

[Asker]

He's just waiting for his thesis to be approved then after that he'll apply for an internship.

[ArrowheadSW]

What field of study is this?

[Asker]

Mechanical engineering. He admit that he's a bad student but from what I can see is his a very smart person. He told me that he doesn't like his field of study. Maybe because of this? What he wanted to be is a writer. But, he's not confident about his work which is saddening.

[Guy13]

I would have been out long ago... actually would have never gotten in.

[Danny_dan92]

You’re dating a dead beat

[Asker]

I guess so. I asked him if he ever plans to have a part-time job. He said, he doesn't want to because he's just waiting for his studies to be finished (he's just waiting for his thesis to be approved) and after that he will apply for an internship.

[Danny_dan92]

Sounds like a bunch of bs to me.

The man is nearing his 30’s and has no job. And still hasn’t completed his schooling.

[Anonymous]

Find yourself a real man.