Did he choose her?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 2 years asked some close friends to after party as his place. including his ex... by circumstance.( who i had no issue being friends with until hearing she was gossiping really bad about me).

I told him i don t want her to come but instead of uninviting her he just went home and went to sleep. Ignoring me all the way.

I m upset he did not have the guts to tell her she should not come and just told me 'not to ruin his night'(when I said I don t want he there).

[Guy13]

Firstly, never befriend the Ex and if your boyfriend pushes it then that’s a problem. Basic attraction or feelings don’t just stop because circumstance changes. The attraction to her and her to him are still there. Beware ‼️

Your boyfriend sounds like a guy who likes drama. If he had a clue or was truly concerned for your feelings he would have not done that. I would have never done that to a date much less one that I care about. And if I did accidentally do that then the blessing of a lifetime would be to tell the Ex, “ my girlfriend is not comfortable with your presence and I’m sure you can understand why…. I’m asking that your not come.”

I’m rambling… is this making sense ⁉️

[Asker]

He did not push us being friends but i did not necessarily care about their past relations. But yea.. That s the reaction i would have expected from him... it did not go that way. so somehow i m the 'bad guy' here?

[Guy13]

I love my brothers as a man’s man sport scholarship guy BUT you are not to blame. If I were you, I would document evening and know the pattern. Unfortunately, now you have to nonchalantly look for Pattern. Short-term: be gracious, don’t act like you are due an apology, and be like normal. The real him is already unwinding AND if “I don’t need another Mom running my life…I got one of those already comes out” then something is definitely up.
I’m seeing signs of unsettled feelings already. How long those two were broken up before you came into the picture ⁉️

[Asker]

Long time and another ex apart. I don t think he has feelings for her. i just think he did not want to tell her not to come and that ready bothers me... because he knows the shit she talked about me after she asked me for rides home and other such favours... which i obliged to.

[Guy13]

That woukd bother me too ESPECIALLY if all 3 parties knew she was talking 💩 about you. There is no better reason to say “you’re not invited” than that. Don’t take this wrongly please, “Are you sure you are not dating a self-centered drama queen?” Firstly the chaos. Secondly blames you 🚩🚩. They seem like red flags 🤷🏻‍♂️