Personally, I don’t think it can, in most cases. Once the trust is broken, it is done and I cannot even fathom putting my whole trust in someone who has already breached it in the past. How do you feel about it? Would you take someone back if they cheated on you? It could also be a betrayal. Cheating does not always has to have a romantic connotation.
You're right about the trust thing... that part will never come back. I think if you have the ability to just leave, it's probably the better choice. I was in a situation where I basically had nowhere to go (overseas, her being military, and divorce would probably end with her getting reduced in rank, ... and we have kids as well.) So she begged me to stay even though I was extremely motivated to leave. I cheated back like X10 but the way I cheated was a little different. Let's just say the girls I fucked weren't around us in situations whispering to each other about us.
That trust will never return... and I've just become jaded and honestly just expect her to cheat eventually yet again. I think her age and knowing I can take her financially if she does is like the only reason she doesn't bring on the back burner dudes and allow them to text at all anymore. I don't trust her though... and my respect for her is basically dead. I just pretend she a stupid whore in order to get my dick hard and the "love" stuff is just lip service. I'm done with finding love in general to be honest... that young part of me is dead. I could actually be the feminist meme of "who hurt you" when it comes to that. I mean I give other humans the benefit of the doubt but women with me will never get any of that benefit. I'm always like "yeah right, you'll be a total slut as soon as you're out of my site" in my head. I don't verbally make it obvious but my opinions of females has really sank... and I was one of those dudes, that thought women could do no wrong. You can call it getting red pilled or whatever, but I would just call it coming to terms with reality.
Wow. I’m really sorry about her cheating. That is one of the most terrible things a person could do to their partner and your feelings are valid.
Out of curiosity, I have one question, if you don’t mind me asking, why would she get demoted if she gets a divorce?
The dude she fucked was a subordinate and cheating on the service member's part isn't taken very lightly either. So me wanting a divorce and forcing the government to pay for me to go back to the states probably wouldn't be sitting pretty with the O-6 and above types. That was just the dealing with me type of stuff. She had to get her friend involved that worked for the rape charge type of stuff and they basically threatened the guy with rape charges to get him to stop bragging about it. It wasn't rape at all though... just more lying and deceitful behavior.
The true story was she was trying to fit in, agreed to be sex friends, fucked for about 3 minutes, and then she found out the guy fucked like 3 other girls that night right after her the very next morning and so the truth started slipping out there. He was bragging about it so it was the type of shit that shows up on facebook. It would've ended very badly for her if I was vindictive enough to let my kids suffer, destroy her, and leave completely. That's life though I guess... it's not pretty. For the kids I basically just accepted some harsh realities and I'm removed from feeling romantic about anything now at all. It's become nothing but bullshit lies people tell each other to me.
Oh damn, that’s a roller coaster of a story… I hope she feels remorse for what she did, if not, that would only make her even more terrible even though nothing is going to change.
It’s really great to what extent people tolerate shit for the sake of their kids… I’m really sorry about your situation. I do sincerely hope you find happiness again.
The bright side isn't so pretty either. Now she's stuck with me and I can say and do whatever I want and she basically just has to accept it. I've grown tired of fucking other women and rubbing it in her face, so there is a sort of truce that's developed since that change in me. It will always be there though and I'll never be with her like I was before, I'll always be 100% conscious that she did me dirty. The result of that is a guy that could care less about tiny "shit tests" or her fake feelings... to be blunt I'm remorseless now. All the tiny shit tests a girl does to a guy and that normal people think might be cute, gets destroyed by me. Trying to blame a cross remark about my drinking or not working on PMS, I'll make it a point to make her break down in tears. I just don't fucking care anymore. I'm mean now, like I mean mean... Meaner than two fat motherfuckers wrestling over some collard greens.
m I do think some relationships could come recover from a cheating situation, it has to be possible for some... and I do know some people in that situation or that were in that situation but their relationship had a bit more trouble than just that
they both had a few things to work on on their own and also for their relationship, and they did exactly that... and left it all behind them
me, personally... although I really don't know because I've never lived something like that, I would not see how I could go back to a relationship after a cheating situation because that would imply that multiple things failed in order for us to reach this point (in any way it happened, her or me, or both cheating) and it would be sign that a lot things did deteriorate over time and neither of us noticed it or cared enough to stop it
even the thought of that is unthinkable to me, so... to me, it would be more of a "total lost" of the relationship and in some many ways so I don't think it would even worth to try
now, if the cheating would have happened as a "fling" or just a thing that happened from one day to another or "not even sure why it mean nothing" that would be even worse to me, you can't just trust that kind of impulsiveness in others or yourself that much, or at all for that matter... lol
Nope, not a chance in the world. Cheating is the most disgusting, vile act of betrayal one can make in a relationship. There isn't really anything close to it in my mind. It is the ultimate breakage of trust, respect, love and so many other important parts of a relationship.
Then you have that..."once a cheat, always a cheater" in the back of your mind. For me, I would never trust them again. That is a horrible way to live too. Always wondering if since they are capable one time, why would they not another.
Every time they are late, you wonder. Every time something seems off, you wonder. Every time they get a call, you wonder. It goes on and on. That would be an absolutely miserable way to go through life.
So, suffice to say that it is that bad of an act that I don't believe you can ever come back from it. I wouldn't even try. There are so many ways to cheat. Most people just think about someone going outside the marriage for sex with someone different.
It can be much more than that. I can be emotional cheating as well. Some will argue one is worse than the other. Nope, they are both bad as you are completely breaking trust and that safe space in a relationship or marriage.
Even though I have watched self-help information in Internet where it is said that relationships can be rescued after cheating, real life has taught me until now that it can't.
That doesn't mean that emotional and mental health is doomed, both the cheater and the cheated can work in their emotional issues and their inner peace and health by separate, or together if they want or if they required it. But this is different from the couple's relationship, where the best thing is to part ways for a time. How long?, only God knows.
The couple can talk about it, being honest, why it happened and how they feel each other, but in the end a separation is needed, because each one need to individually work in themselves.
Forgiveness can exist, but that doesn't mean that the relationship can continue.
Opinion
34Opinion
If they cheat they are done. That is a line that should never be crossed and for those say it's complicated I would say that's just an excuse for poor self worth.
It’s the end of the relationship and the beginning of a new chapter for me.
Infidelity changes the dynamics of a relationship forever. I am of the opinion most relationships are damaged beyond repair. If the unfaithful partner can get some therapy and learn how to stay away from triggers just like an alcoholic does with alcohol the relationship MIGHT survive it, BUT it will NEVER be the same. The problem is the lost trust. I know a female in her early 30s who just recently divorced the father of her two daughters. She still loves that damn fool, but can no longer trust him. Undergoing the testing and later treatment of a serious STD is one of the most humiliating things a person can go through. I spoke to her mom who told me her daughter wept throughout the whole ordeal. I have stated this before on this website. I WILL NOT break bread with a cheater/liar. I will NOT allow them to come into my home for a social function. If I am in a group and discover someone in the group is a cheater I will get up and walk away. YES, I am in an open relationship with several ladies. I am honest and upfront with them. I also expect that same honesty in return!
It depends on the cheating. If they were just texting, going on dates, calling etc, I could recover. How to make it up? Give up their phone privileges. Let me access your accounts and give me security. Now if it’s actually sex cheating, it depends how far it went. Was it a one-night? We’re you drunk? Do you plan it? How many times? What sex acts? Are you willing to tell me the whole truth? Did they come forward or did I discover it? How much did they lie until I found out? I got cheated on. It was the worst feeling ever. Like other comments said, I had zero respect and love for her. I just wanted a cock sleeve until I found another. I became resentful and wanted revenge. I wanted her to feel what it was like. Of course that was impossible. How could we make it up? Have an open relationship with only me being allowed to screw others? A few threesomes? In the end, the trust was gone. It wouldn’t come back. Even though there were good times, I always thought about the betrayal and lies. I would never be able to love them how I used to before. And the real question is why? I could find another girl. If we had kids and married it would be a different situation. I would try my best to work through that.
No. I would not take someone back after cheating on me. The trust is broken. I would not be able to be with them physically and emotionally after knowing that they were with someone else. It breaks my heart that so many women tolerate cheating so that they won't be alone for the moment. There is always someone out here that will treat you better just be patient. When so many women keep taking these men back they make things harder for other women because moremen will think that they can treat all women this way. I love my boyfriend but I love me more
I absolutely adore this opinion, and I completely agree!
s for some, yes… for me personally? never.
one thing, I could absolutely never ever get over is a broken trust… I will give him all of me, all of my trust, 100%. once it’s broken, it will never go back to that 100% again. and I can’t be in a relationship with someone I can’t trust 100% because that would drive me insane.
agreed!!
If I thought relationships could come back from cheating, I'd still be married to my ex-husband (he cheated on me).
My boyfriend's brother-in-law wouldn't be divorcing his sister because of this 5th (at least) time she's cheated on him.
A good friend of mine would still be with the girl who cheated with him & in turn cheated on him once they were together (she's a chronic cheater).
The list goes on and on. Although, I know a few people who did come back from it, it's far & few between the ones who don't
I like ur feed and i agree with it! 1000%, once u crossed the trust line, means u fuked me over, so WE ARE OVER!
I hate when i read posts like:is it ok to get back to my ex? Can i have one last fuking with my ex? why my ex is ghosting me? 🤬🤬🤬
ITS UR FUKIN EXXXX, Move on, block him/her, DONE! FOR FUK SAKE, that means they are UNSURE OF THEIR OWN FEELINGS, they are the ONES that don't want TO LET GO, scared of loneliness... pfff...
So yeah! Once they fukit up are DONE! I'm not INVESTING any more feelings in a person that I HAVE LOST TOO MUCH! 🤷♂️
This is some thing we both feel strongly about. The answer is no. We both feel like if an individual is considering an act of adultery/cheating, they should end the relationship before they commit to that action.
Exactly. Well said.
I. Know. Me. If this were to happen, I wouldn't be able to let it go or forget or move on from it because I'm super hardcore about my trust of people who say they love me and once that is broken, I want nothing to do with you. I'm not going to sit and worry if you're 2 hours late, if you're with someone else, or who is he texting, or when he's away on a trip, if it's just him or the people he says he with. I have a friend who literally took back her husband who cheated on her for an entire year out of state while he was away for work doing long distance, had a baby with the other woman, and only got caught because the friend outed him to my friend so she could know the truth. Now they have 4 kids...I mean, to each their own.
I don’t think so. I’d feel so betrayed, completely lose all trust and wouldn’t be able to feel 100% comfortable with them again
I’m the same as you. I strongly believe that trust is one of the most important foundations of a relationship, be it platonic or romantic. A relationship cannot be the same as it was before.
I think married relationships have such an investment that they can. Boyfriend and girlfriend, I do not? What's your relationship status?
This is a hypothetical question. I’m single. I neither agree nor disagree with your opinion. I don’t think a relationship can be the same if a partner cheats.. the trust will always be broken. If someone is naive enough to trust their partner back, I wish them well because 8 out of 10 times, cheaters don’t change and if they do forgive and take them back, they could still have lots of doubts about their partner.
I agree, if the couple has kids, they would want to stay together at least for the sake of their kids as well and the divorce process is also quite lengthy and both financially and mentally exhausting.
thanks for the kind words :)
Nope. If she cheats on you once she WILL do it again. It's only a matter of time. Best to cut your losses and move on. Even if a cheater says they still love you they do not mean it. They may even think they do. But cheating on someone is selfish it's the ultimate act of betrayal. What they're actually doing is rationalizing thier behavior they may actually even feel bad for cheating. But guaranteed they're saying to themselves, "I wouldn't have cheated if he had (or hadn't)...". So in reality they still are not taking full responsibility for thier actions.
Best to just cut your losses and move on.
No. I give someone my heart and my love and that's how they repay me? Get the fuck outta here. In my mind the only thing worse than cheating is abuse. They already abused my heart, what makes me think they wouldn't abuse my mind and body?
Personally, I think not. It’s very hard to trust someone after your trust has been compromised. You’ll always be wondering if they’re cheating on you - which isn’t healthy. Without trust, the relationship can turn sour. Taking them back can also enable them to be better at cheating and not getting caught.
I used to always say that I would never forgive anyone who cheated on me. Now i sort of think that people can make mistakes and things happen in relationships and in people's lives. I think that if she was remorseful and it would never happen again I might forgive it this one time.
It is possible but requires a lot of work from both parties and lots of patience too. It's important to mention that you will eventually forgive but you will never forget and in the back of your mind you will always have this thought in your head and it's up to you if you're willing to deal with it or just move on.
If they told me right away. Then maybe. It's two different things to cheat and then lie about it for weeks and to cheat then admit it right away.
Couples who enjoy eternal torment will try to maintain a relationship following infidelity.
The only way back is through. Agree to an open relationship and do whatever you want. Otherwise, once a cheater always a cheater. Unless you enjoy being used and disrespected, there’s no point in staying with someone who cheated on you.
Nope once a cheater always a cheater they can change and never cheat again, doesn’t change the fact that they did and the person they cheated on now has more issues than they started with simply because the cheater was a coward.
No. Once trust is broken it can never be fully regained. You will never be able to feel as confident in your partner as you did before. Your feelings will never be quite the same no matter what they try to do to make up for it.
It cannot recover because the trust is gone.
Agreed
I gotta go with no on this because even if you get back together or stay together, that trust is already broken and both parties will never fully act the same again.
I never had sex with an ex with the idea of getting back together, that's what fools do. It was for easy ass, that's it.
Trust is earned, it can be lost, and it can be earned again. Many couples recover from cheating, many don't
I certainly doubt it. Mine certainly would not. I would never be able to look at her the same again.
Nope. The way I see it is the cheater is a lying sociopath. How can you say you love a person then do that to them? You’re probably a sociopath.
No. You’ll always wonder. Trust is broken. You don’t get that back.
Considering less than 5% married guys go for their side chicks... yeah, I guess so.
Not for me... I seriously don't know how some people forgive that... I just watch them getting screwed up for the second time
cheating = cheating. In m option there is no way to return from this. The trust got broken.
My brother's wife cheated on him twice and he took her back. I honestly wouldn't take back a cheater cause once a cheater always a cheater.
it can but takes a lot of work and patience and openness.
My wife had a 6 month affair and it literally destroyed me.
I went back because we have two kids and 10 years together. But I will never be the same.
Me too. I would be too hurt to forgive. When I have someone they gotta be all mime all to myself
No sharing allowed
Sure.
Has a lot to do with maturity.
If the relationship was healthy, it wouldn't have happened in the first place.
Almost impossible if there was anything physical involved.
It depends on how I discovered the cheating
I see. Would your reaction be different if they told you themselves?
Not for me, others can... depends I guess
No, the trust is broken.
No. Been there, done that. Doesn't work.
It can but it’ll be hard.
Yes. It would take a lot of work from both people.
Can, yes. Just not with me.
No as it will never be the same..
Nope, once a cheater….
No,,
... never trust them again
It can but only in forgiveness
Nope
Nope.
No its a wrap
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