Why is my boyfriend insisting me to live with him, do I really have to if I don't want to?

[Anonymous]

Besides living with my parents until I was 20 (I moved out afterwards), I've never lived with anyone else. I love my privacy and can't even tolerate someone staying at my house for more than 3 days, much less living with a boyfriend.

My boyfriend knew my stance on this early on. Why is he insisting me to move out of my house and live with him? He's just a boyfriend. I don't want to live with him.

[abc3643]

No, stay with your parents.

That said, I do advocate living with your "significant other" for at least 2 years before getting engaged because you really need to know what it is like living day-in and day-out with someone before you know them well-enough to want to commit to a lifetime of marriage with them.

You remind me of myself. You may want to consider never being married because privacy and freedom are oh-so-critical to peace of mind and being in a couple living under the same roof destroys that. This is why married people, for the marriage to work, really need to feel completely comfortable and trusting of the other person. That's what love really is. Anything short of that, and you should not be married.

[Asker]

I actually live on my own so don't really need a man's house. I still visit my parents sometimes.
Honestly, I can't picture myself living with someone I'm just dating. If I was engaged to him then yeah I might accept it, even though I would still want to keep my house (at least rent it to others).

I just don't see any benefit to just living together, esp if I already have my own house.

[abc3643]

Do NOT get engaged unless you live together first.

Trust me on this. I know you like living alone - God, I miss it! - but your heart will tell you when the time is right to move in with someone. You do it on your terms, not theirs. Anyway, once you do "shack up" (live together), then you will know if you will want to be married.

[Asker]

There is absolutely nothing he can offer that I'm lacking and/or need. Besides he just admitted he would like living together but no obligations for having kids. In other words just living together and enjoying the relationship and the present moment, no real goals... lol. What would I be gettting all that besides just passion and sex, NOTHING. I'm breaking up.

[OlderAndWiser]

It sounds like you never want to be in a LTR and that is what he wants. Why are you two together?

[Asker]

I have my own house. Why would I give up what I got and my comfortable life for so much less, for mediocrity? If I move in to his house, that's like throwing away a kingdom for a lentil dish.
And my answer to someone asking if they can move in to my house is an obvious NO.

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay, so. . . Why are you two together?

[Asker]

Good point. There is absolutely nothing he can offer that I'm lacking and/or need. Besides he just admitted he would like living together but no obligations for having kids. In other words just living together and enjoying the relationship and the present moment, no real goals... lol. What would I be gettting all that besides just passion and sex, NOTHING. I'm breaking up.

[RasmusAiken]

Don't do it, girl. Your privacy will be shot to hell. You'll probably end up paying for half his personal bills bc he'll always be low on money and he'll be constantly borrowing your stuff and never repaying you.

[Asker]

I've already analyzed the situations so well. I'm living a comfortable life in my house. There is no way I'm going to move to his house, live a mediocre life and gain nothing out of that besides feelings and time wasted. I would be losing.

[dudeinohio]

No. You don't have to do anything you don't want to.

[Asker]

Cool. I don't feel like giving away my comfortable life.

[FilmGuy93]

You're an adult. You don't have to do anything.

[Asker]

I think I might have to call it quits if he keeps pressuring me about it and not respecting my choices. I don't do cohabitation.

[LazerBean]

That's weird. I'd dump him, personally.

[Asker]

yeah I'm considering it. Sounds like he's not even respecting my choices. I don't like being pressured into anything I don't want. I declined twice kindly and told him my views.

[LazerBean]

Yeah, being pushy about huge decisions that don't even benefit you in any way is a pretty big red flag

[Asker]

This basically. I've already analyzed the situation. I'm living comfortable at home (my house). Moving out and living in his house would be to me like going from a good life to mediocrity.

[Asker]

I would be losing right there. Yeah it doesn't benefit me one bit.

[Asker]

yeah I was right to say no.
There is absolutely nothing he can offer that I'm lacking and/or need. Besides he just admitted he would like living together but no obligations for having kids. In other words just living together and enjoying the relationship and the present moment, no real goals... lol. What would I be gettting all that besides just passion and sex, NOTHING. I'm breaking up.

[jshm2]

Why do you even have a boyfriend, to be fair?

[Asker]

To date and see if I even see any future with him, not just move in and do some ridiculous trial period. Besides I have my own house and live more comfortable than if I were moving in to his house. I'm gaining nothing by moving to his house.

[Asker]

So nope, I'm not naive enough to abandon a good, comfortable with someone I'm just going to be living together without any serious plans. LOL

[In_Trance]

No you don't

[Asker]

ok cool