I dont know what to do?

[Anonymous]

Im 24 married to a 26yrold
Have our first new born only a few weeks old, husband has gone back to work, he starts at 5am & finishes at 1:30pm.
when he comes home he just wants to sleep which makes sense, but I need help
My new born is up every hr, we don’t share nighttime it’s just me, he goes to work it’s just me, he comes home it’s just me. Then he gets mad at me for being annoyed at him for not even trying.
He says I cook dinner and I put the clothes in the wash, what more do I want. Well.. for starters, last week I was really struggling, like really struggling sleep deprived and that I had no support and I need him to take extra days off work to help me out. Know what he did instead?
Came home to tell me he is doing over time Wow I’m slowly starting to pick things up with looking after him on my own, but it’s sucks watching my husband with our child, he sucks at it like he isn’t even trying. I gave my husband a bottle to give to Bub And Bub wasn’t latching on the bottle but was crying hysterically and my husband was getting shitty that Bub was crying “what do you want”
I’m like did he eat all his food
“No he didn’t want it”
The bottle was completely full, I said did you even try to feed Bub, he said yes,
I give Bub the bottle and Bub takes it straight away, I just looked at my partner like wtf. And omg when my partner holds Bub, he holds her like he’s trying to show off in public, I’m like hold her properly before you drop her omg. And like today he came home from work, and I’m like great I’m going to try and clean this house, my partner is like no I want to have a shower and nap , I’m like no because I need to clean the toilet it hasn’t been clean since I brought Bub home. And he gets the shits he can’t do anything, fine I’ll hold her otherwise I won’t hear the end of it. I’m like you know what dw have your shower & nap. I’m due back to work next month, our plan was he gets home at 2pm then I’m going to work from 4-9pm But he can’t even stay awake.

[Guy13]

Lifestyle you knew about beforehand with work etc? One doesn’t start nigh shifts out the blue usually. At one time in my life nights driving heavy equipment getting loads ready for sunrise Builder pick-up at Lowes 🤷🏻‍♂️ We bickered but knew priorities. It’s manageable. Your wants and past life is over until 55 is what I was told.

there's always going to be this 💩 and phases of it.-some longer than others. 😊

[TrueConfection]

Parenting is the toughest job in the world. It sounds like your guy is doing what he knows he's capable of doing (working, cooking, washing clothes). He needs time to adjust to being a dad and telling him he's doing it all wrong will make him afraid to try. He'll figure it out.

I suggest you ask him, "Can I show you the way I give Bub a bottle?" I wouldn't worry about the way he is holding the baby unless it's dangerous. The baby will let him know if she's uncomfortable.

I also suggest, "Honey, I know you want a shower, but can you watch Bub for 15 minutes so I can clean the toilet first?"

It sounds unfair, but compromises work and helping your husband feel needed and wanted goes a lot further than duties and correcting him.

[TrueConfection]

I meant to start with congratulations on your new baby! You have a wonderful life ahead of you! ❤

[Anonymous]

Do you have family or anyone who can help you with the baby? Honestly, let hubby work! I know it's hard, but you don't need to be homeless. Does he have weekends off? How many months is your newborn? Train the newborn on timing of the day. Stay up in the day, sleep through the night. Get a paper and pen and put together an organized schedule.