Was this cheater actually rewarded?

[Danielle93]

I hate how cheaters call their deliberate action a mistake. I found this recent reddit poster. Apparently she posted her story just yesterday or 2 days ago.

Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/xu9wga/i_feel_my_husband_m_40_is_likely_cheating_now_and/

Basically:

- She cheats way back in 2002. Not just once or twice but for 3 months of the relationship.

- Oh it just doesn't get better... out of all the other men out there, she cheats with the man's best friend

- Wait it gets worse, they both get caught in the guy's own HOUSE. She had the nerves to bring the guy in his place.

Outcome:

She gets the 2nd chance she asked for, gets her man back. Not just gets him back but he still marries her and they got 3 older kids by now. Just LOL

After what that cheater did (many wouldn't even want a friendship with her after that), even if the now husband ends up cheating back I think she already got rewarded. Do you think that cheater got rewarded?

Updates

+1 y

So short cliffs:
Caught cheating with the man's friend in his house

And the reward is still getting the man, still getting proposed, still getting married and still getting kids. If that's not a reward, I don't know what it is but LOL.

[Guy13]

That guy deserves the 75% loss of Assets he is going to get. He must be filthy rich 🤑

[Danielle93]

I'm reading the post. It doesn't sound like she wants a divorce either. That must be probably because she's already nearly 40, not in her prime anymore and what other man will want to date a divorced woman with 3 kids and a history of cheating?

[Guy13]

She’s stuck until kids are in college unless he will let her have a 23 year old stud for the barn stables

[Danielle93]

She has to wait until their youngest child is 18 at least. The child is just 7 years old. So in 11 years later, that woman would be 50 years old. The dating market is definitely not in her favor by then. She might as well stay stuck with her beta provider.

[Danielle93]

Come to think of it, I guess they must be right for the other.
That guy probably can't get any better or must have a flaw? Then a woman giving him the time of the day must feel like an accomplishment to him. So in his mind he probably operated with an ''oh well, something is better than nothing''.

As for the woman, who is going to accept and commit/provide for a sloot? She won't find anyone decent because she's trash so she's stuck with him; her security.

[Guy13]

Genius. You are brighter than I. That’s that woman thing showing up again. Very hot… when one can learn from another. Total sense , squeeze all that into one neat and succinct realization ♨️♨️

[MrOracle]

Yes, she basically got everything and paid no price. I'd have thrown her out like last-weeks garbage and never spoken to her again. Same with my "friend" she cheated with.

[Danielle93]

Yes indeed. She got more than lucky. I wonder what type of man takes back a woman he literally caught with his friend in HIS HOUSE and then still marries her? What type of man is that? Where do those men come from?

[MrOracle]

The man really loved her, and/or is really desperate and thinks this is his best chance at a relationship. It's pretty sad.

[Danielle93]

yeah it's sad. I'm willing to bet she enjoyed ever moment of it and hasn't cheated again because she's afraid of getting caught again, afraid of losing everything so she won't risk it.
Not cheating because you're just afraid of getting caught isn't the same as not cheating because it's wrong.

[loveslongnails]

You really don't know her, how she changed her life and how she became the better version of herself. What she did was horrible, BUT, he took her back knowing full well what that involved. They married, have a family, and now this.

I don't see any "reward" here except that she changed her own life for the better. She seems to have truly straightened herself out. Some people can actually do that, you know. Had he not taken her back, my bet is she'd have found someone else with whom she might never shared her cheating story with because it was irrelevant to who she has become. It's not like she was a serial killer who got away with it and is now "over it".

Obviously your stand is that once you cheat, you're always a cheater, and you deserve to suffer your entire life because of it since change is impossible. Well, that doesn't seem to be accurate here.

Something serious is going on with him. Whenever someone brings up a wrong that was done 20 years ago, as a possible justification of their own current behavior, you can sure there's a major crisis going on. It's up to him now to come clean if he wants to save what they've made together.

[Danielle93]

The reason why I thought she got rewarded is because there are several women that are faithful from the start, are sweet and the guy never proposes. He keeps them forever at his girlfriend (only for later to break-up, all the years the girl wasted for nothing) meanwhile that woman got forgiven and later on even proposed to.
A couple days ago, I just read the guy's version. The woman was right. She guessed right. He cheated just recently. This is his story now:
www.reddit.com/.../
Like most of us, she got more hurt that he actually caught feelings (fell in love with) for the other woman than the actually physical act. She's a co-worker. Base on the story, the wife is still hurt that he's still goes to work, still interacts with the AP (affair partner).

[Danielle93]

The guy was full of BS too. He cheated recently this year and was trying to get rid of his guilt by digging up the old 20 year-old cheating and doing blameshifting.

[loveslongnails]

I figured as much. So basically, it's a shit show again except now there are kids involved. People are so disappointing, aren't they?

[Danielle93]

yeah there they go again, lol
Interesting how tables flipped now. He got forgiven too but this time, it's his turn to do all the hard work. Unfortunately the present-day cheating is 100% on him, lol.

[loveslongnails]

Sounds like they should just make it an open relationship and not have to lie about it. LOL

[SiberFox]

Yeah, it sucks but sometimes people get rewarded for their shit behaviour and decisions.

[Danielle93]

It does suck. She had it so easy. It was basically a ''yeah cheat, betray them in the worst way possible and they'll still forgive you, and even marry you'' LOL.
Meanwhile there are real sweet women out there that never cheated and never get proposed to. Oh the irony. lol

[Danielle93]

Reading that post is like the equivalent of getting caught stealing from your workplace, getting initially fired, then getting your 2nd/last chance and still getting promoted to manager later on. Wow lol

[SiberFox]

This has more to do with the guys they choose, the guy in this instance either didn't want to spend time looking for another spouse or didn't think he could do better.
Same goes for the girls who aren't getting proposed to, they're letting poor behaviour slide because of their own insecurities.

[Danielle93]

The more I read that reddit post and some of the replies, the more I'm now analyzing their case. I think both of them are low quality. Sometimes the saying like attracts like can be applied.

The guy probably has flaw that made women not be attracted to him during his younger years and clearly has little to no confidence. He probably spend his HS years single until he got with the cheater. He breaks up at first but then maybe thinks to himself ''Might as well take her back, who knows how long I'll stay single if I don't''. So he takes her back and doesn't let go. Now married, he's obviously not going to let go because he'll lose. Now that he became a cheater recently that makes him low quality too. Cheating is always low. There is no value to that.

The woman is also low quality. She screwed that guy's friend because he was probably one of those players that scores stupid girls like her. Then when she gets caught cheating in 2002, she realizes the player isn't going to commit and she's about to lose the boyfriend, her security. So she likely begged and pestered him so much till he takes her back. By the time their youngest child is 18, she'll be 50 years old by then; way past the prime. What quality, decent man is going to accept a woman with a cheating past and commit, with 3 kids and at a much older age? None so she might as well continue being stuck with him, the beta provider.

Come to think of it, both of them stay stuck with each other.

[SiberFox]

Exactly.

[Andres77]

In Spanish it might be explained by this phrase, “la tiene de oro”.

[Danielle93]

Cool. So I'm just LMAO right now. The person did the worst thing (one of the most disgusting betrayal ever) you can do to someone in a relationship and still got a proposal, marriage and kids.

This is the equivalent of getting caught stealing from your workplace, getting initially fired, then getting your 2nd/last chance and still getting promoted to manager later on. Wow lol

[Andres77]

But maybe…they were just the most impressive employee EVER!
😜