Did this former cheater deserved this treatment?

[Anonymous]

I just read her update on reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

- She cheats in 2002 with the guy's friend. She was 19 at the time. They were boyfriend and girlfriend.

- The guy forgives, she betters herself, hever cheated since, they get married later on and have 3 kids.

- 20 years later, this time the husband cheats with his co-worker but for different reasons, unrelated to her old cheating.

- The guy falls in love with his co-worker, he exchanges texts about traveling to Paris with her and leaving his kids, spends money on his affair (even steals and uses some of his wife's money) and takes his wife's meals and desserts to feed the woman

- Everything backfired in the end; his AP partner was using him for money. They're currently working things out. She's sounds upset on her post though.

Yes, she cheated first.. its fair

No, it isn't deserved

Other

Updates

+1 y

She went from feeling sorry for herself and guilt to now getting upset too after finding out he used her money for his affair, had imagine leaving her and his children to go to Paris and fed the woman her food.

[Guy13]

It is not good but she did get a taste of her own medicine. At least she worked it all out. This says much about the fine person she has become.

[Asker]

True. She finally got to know how he felt 20 years ago. He had to live with what she did and probably try his best for the kids' sake. I'm willing to bet he still had flashbacks of her and his friend together at the couch even year later.
He got her with the emotional aspect of the affair and from the looks of the post, she's crushed. I always heard that hurts us a lot more than if he were to have a ONS. That to us is the equivalent of a man getting hurt by his woman having a PA.

[Guy13]

I agree as the Sex does not bother a woman as much if she senses or evidences an emotional bond, whereas, men are like, "how could that B- sleep with that dick?"...

[Asker]

There is a logic explanation to that. Biology and evolution explains it all.
Men tend to be more territorial by nature and can't stand the thought of someone touching his woman. She is like the clean castle he returns to after a hard day in battle. The fact that she let someone in, means she let an enemy (a threat) inside. She's similar to a spy plotting against you with the enemy (giving him all your information) and so he has to get rid of both of them. He can't ever trust her again. If he takes her back, he's seen as the laughing stock, the fool of all fools. It's a direct attack towards his ego and pride as male. Also, if protection isn't use the guy can be raising someone else's child.

For us, we needed a provider in ancient times to be there for us and our offspring, to provide us shelter. Otherwise we wouldn't have survived in the wild and the offsprings would be likely killed. His ability to have sex with another woman doesn't direct affect nor stop our ability to carry his child. We already it's our child in our bodies. However if he ends up catching feeling for another woman, that's a threat to us. He can abandon her and/or the kids for the other woman. This was evidenced by that man's desire to leave his wife and kids for the other woman and travel to Paris.

[Guy13]

My explanation, for that above, is Sin. Look around you from abortion to Putin etc as we are in a fallen world as fallen men and women. And we reside in the Devil's Playground where there is plenty of opportunity to exercise our total depravity and fallen Nature... No amount of Enlightenment, Education, Science, and/or philosophy can change our Nature.

[Truthatanycost]

It sounds like karma.

[Asker]

True. She didn't have the luxury of reacting by dumping him. She ended up returning the favor of forgiving too. lol

[Truthatanycost]

Then she's learned a lesson some people never get to learn in life.