Does a revenge cheater deserve some sympathy?

[sunshinexoxo1]

Out of the many infidelity stories I've read, that one that realized still being hurt and cheated in revenge makes me feel some sympathy for them.

What if they started as a decent, good and innocent person that would've never cheated if they didn't get hurt that badly? Unlike the selfish cheater, they cheated out of excruciating emotional agony and anger.

What do you think? Would you feel some compassion/sympathy for them?

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

I never got to that point but yeah maybe they thought their reconciliation was successful but counselors and therapists can only help up to a certain point, then it's up to them to heal from the pain.

[Anonymous]

Nope, and this is coming from someone who has revenge cheated before on an ex. Nothing would justify cheating, I was young and stupid and the cheating led me to an even worse problem where I ended up putting myself in danger. It was not worth it, my ex and I were both immature (and toxic) where we would cheat on each other as revenge. We talked about it and managed to outgrow that toxicity, we broke up on good terms and I still wish him the best in life.

[SweetCountryGirl123]

There's a very old saying - two wrongs NEVER make a right.

And that's the thing, a "revenge" cheater is just lower themselves to the supposed cheater's level. They make themselves undesirable, unfaithful, untrustworthy. I mean nobody decent is going to care one shit if it's a "revenge cheat", a cheater's a good for nothing cheater regardless of cause. And then there's the fact that the "revenge" cheat is a claim of the cheater... for all another partner knows, that's nothing but a blatant lie.

[SweetCountryGirl123]

Never mind by acting so dumply the "revenge" cheater is merely giving their supposed cheating partner an avenue to BLAME them. The supposed cheater can say to their friends & family - lookie here, dimwit cheated on me so of course I looked for a better woman than wasting time with her

[teamvic]

I dont know about sympathy towards them but I wouldn't think they're not shit as I would compared to the first person who cheated. Like to me if the second one cheated I'd see it as. Welp that relationship was over anyway so might as well make that one feel just like you did

But as far as if I'd feel bad for them. No not really

[Lynx122]

I don't see the point in it at all. Doing things like that out of emotion you're just showing everyone how badly you got hurt. Either end the relationship, get over that person and move on with your life or work through it if you think it's worth it. One or the other anything else is just children throwing a tantrum.

[Finchie40]

Revenge cheating makes that person just as bad as the cheater themselves , basically it’s an immature decision , that makes them just as wrong , because 2 wrongs don’t make a right

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Cheater is a cheater… Revenge or not

I can’t imagine cheating regardless of how hurt I am.

[Paris13]

As Long as Not Too Vile. God Will Take Control Though Some day. xx

[AviatorTom]

Revenge is rarely sweet, whether it be cheating or anything else.

[Bricealan]

Sometimes, I think they do. I had a very brief affair with the wife of my neighbor, actually we all three were friends. I suspect he had cheated on her (maybe) and she spent one night with me when he was gone for a week.

I told her that she had a nice ass and she said: "See, Terry NEVER says things like that to me... Maybe not revenge, but out of neglect by her husband.

[Drew-1990]

Two wrongs do not make a right. Just because you got cheated on doesn't mean you should cheat on them back. Once you start down that path what will stop you from cheating on someone in the future.

[PeachyPie93]

No, lol.
You can just leave, why have meaningless sex just to get back at an ex who most likely because they cheated does not give one fuck about you or who you fuck. lol

[sunshinexoxo1]

It gets harder if this isn't someone you're dating but you've been married with them for 10-15 years, there are kids and you find out they've been cheating for 2-5 years. Sure you can divorce but it's a lengthy process than when it's just a relationship and no kids.

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah its harder to leave but what are you gonna do? I would suggest talk things out, get counselling, and if you don't feel its working divorce amicably. It will probably be hard in the beginning but its gets easier over time. Its much better to leave while you are still young, than to have to start over when you are old.

[sunshinexoxo1]

This isn't for me but I know someone in that position at my workplace. It's the wife that's the cheater and he's trying to get as much evidence for the meantime so he doesn't get screwed too much in court.

[PeachyPie93]

So why ask about the revenge cheat? Did he cheat back already? lol

[sunshinexoxo1]

Nope but he did said he was thinking about doing it. He still thinks about it if and no one would find out.

[TenderFantasy]

No, two wrongs (as much as people would like to think otherwise) just NEVER make a right!

Also spells of what kind of person you are if you could stoop to their level.

[IslaTheWitch]

Cheating is wrong. Taking revenge is even more wrong...

[FreyaRed]

Cheater is a cheater. When someone jump out a window you have to jump too?
Strength, smartness.. deserves sympathy, being dumb and impulsive surely not.

[HelpfulWoman]

Nope. If their dumb ass falls to the level of also cheating, they weren't that "good" a person to begin with

[Nikki1989]

Haven't you heard the saying, “two wrongs don't make a right.”

[blueonblack22]

Two wrongs don’t make a right. It just makes you equivalent to the other wrong person.

[whereismyjohnny]

Nope. They are just as bad as the cheater. 🗑️

[spartan55]

Hell no! BREAK UP then go nail every ho in the club.

[Curiositykilledcat7]

Yes if you a softening the hurt and getting the strength to leave

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, if unhappy in a relationship, just leave.

[sunshinexoxo1]

In a relationship without kids is easy to just leave. If it's a 15 year-old marriage with underaged children, you can divorce but it's a harder and lengthy process.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Doesn't matter how hard it is to leave, the answer is to leave, because it can't work out if they stay together.

People either love eachother, or they don't, there is no grey area, and you can't change people or punish them for not being your type.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Staying with someone you don't like for 15 years is crazy.

[sunshinexoxo1]

I heard of a case where someone gets married with someone they were never in fall love, never loved them and the innocent party didn't know. It was actually the man that never never his wife and married for other reasons. Weird.
I really don't get that. He's the one proposing, investing his resources and not just trapping her but himself too. What would he gain by faking love?

[sunshinexoxo1]

That guy in that story always loved his ex girlfriend and would've wanted to marry her but the ex married someone else. So he gets married with that poor woman he never loved.

[Anonymous]

No, NONE! I'm not saying I don't understand the feeling of wanting revenge. But the minute you lower yourself to the same thing, even for revenge. You're no better. You compromised your character that's all you did when you revenge cheat.

[CozyCoffin]

No, they should just break up. What an idiot, making themselves just as bad as the cheater.

[sunshinexoxo1]

Not easy when someone is married for over a decade and there are underaged kids involved.

[worldscolide]

Cheating is cheating end of story. even if its revenge. Two wrongs do not make a right, all it does is make you as bad as them.

[jahaims]

Cheating is cheating no matter what. If you cheat you are trash.

[sunshinexoxo1]

well yes it's still cheating. It's just, it probably crushed their soul so much that all they thought about was revenge and they couldn't let go of that rage until they did it. We don't know how someone will react to getting their heart broken. Some people can easily walk away but others want revenge.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Nope, just trash like the original cheater. 🗑️

[Talea]

Never any excuse for cheating, ever, thus, zero sympathy.

[boobliker]

revenge cheats is still 2 wrongs dont make it OK so NO sympathy

[LaurenM1997]

Absolutely not no

[Keith469]

Two wrongs do not equal a right.

[LiamJHayden]

I have no empathy for any cheater.

[DreamLife7]

Why don't you move on with your life? It's 2024