Boyfriend changed his Netflix password before sharing it with me, red flag?

[Anonymous]

So money is a bit tight for me right now so I cancelled my Netflix and my boyfriend offered to let me use his login, which made me happy, but before he gave it to me he sat down at his PC and changed the password, I asked him why and he said because it's the password he uses for majority of his accounts and doesn't want to hand that one out, it covers his email, facebook, banking etc, but if he had nothing to hide then he should have ZERO problem sharing it with me right?

[Investigator]

Red flag or not, you are not entitled to access any of his assets, if he doesn't want to share them willingly.

"if he had nothing to hide then he should have ZERO problem sharing it with me right?", just because we live in a world where most people willingly record and/or jot down every excruciating detail of their lives and then post them for all the world to see, doesn't suddenly mean "privacy is only for criminals". But, I suppose, when you grow up not understanding the idea of "alone time"--as in, true alone time (no screens, recording devices or other internet appliances)--the idea of "not sharing literally everything" can seem like a foreign concept.

Having said that, it is obvious that he wants to keep his viewing habits and his finances separate, and you should respect that. If you don't or feel like "he's keeping his stuff from me, because I can't have free reign to play with all of his things", then it is in his best interest to drop you like a bad habit.

Especially, in today's world, where differences of opinion can end one's career, having a private area is more important than ever.

[AviatorTom]

He's letting you use his Netflix account (which is nice) and wants to maintain his privacy by making the Netflix password unique. He's a smart guy, probably will never have to deal with identity theft.

Why would you think that's a red flag? What right do you think you have to be able to access all his accounts?

Remember that it's possible that you might let his Netflix password slip out to your friends, which would compromise everything he has if he didn't make it unique.

[BlueScorpio]

What really bothers me is why the heck he's using the same password for email, banking, and Facebook? He's beginning to get hacked, that's a hackers dream cause you make their work so much easier. Everyone knows not to use the same password for all your online accounts. I have to get on my mom about it cause she constantly forgets her password and wants to use the same one over and over again. Tell him to write out new passwords for all accounts and keep it in safe space so he won't have to use the same one.

[AmandaYVR]

No one should give out their password to anyone. Some people do, but it shouldn't be expected.

But your boyfriend is an absolute idiot for having one password for all his accounts. It's just a matter of time before he gets identity theft, robbed, etc.

Should you be upset he didn't give you his master password? No. But you should be upset at how stupid he is when it comes to life stuff.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I have chemical formulas as my passwords. They satisfy the requirements for a strong password.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

And easier to remember too! Good from all sides!👍

[AmandaYVR]

@The_Shadow_Dweller That's interesting. How do you choose which one to use for each?

[coachTanthony]

-----No say thank you and move on. Geeeez

[MrNameless]

Why is it a red flag? He just openly admitted that he used the same password for other accounts and doesn't want you (or anyone else to have access to them..). cause privacy and not getting hacked. It's not like he's refusing to give you access to his Netflix. You know his new password. I would take that occurrence at face value.

[MrNameless]

Everyone has a right to privacy. Would you be willing to give him access to all your accounts?

[petitedollbabee]

That’s not a red flag. There’s no reason for you to need to know his password to everything. If you feel the need to snoop all over his socials, or feel the need to have access to his accounts, then that sounds like you are the insecure one and you are possibly the red flag here. Just because he doesn’t want to share his PRIVATE information doesn’t mean he’s hiding anything. Why do you feel a need to have access to his accounts? Ask yourself that.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Sees reasonable. You shouldn't share your important passwords with others.

And its easier to only change netflix login compared to change every other password. But you also shouldn't use the same password for many logins, even though most people do it.

[SickB3atZ]

His Private Banking and Email had nothing to do with you you're not marreid nor engaged so boundaries in a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is very necessary so i agree with him... until there's a ring on your finger unfortunately that's his right as a individual to have privacy... by all means if you think he's cheating go through his Cellphone but don't make problems because he feels he doesn't trust you completely

[SickB3atZ]

LOL NOW ANONYMOUS IS QUITE LOL PATHETIC

[Sour-rose]

Bish what the fff- if he changes it to hide his personal shi, that isn't a red flag. It just means he doesn't want anyone to fuk with his shit, even you. Hell, I'd change my password too if it's something that goes to my money. It's just simply him keeping his stuff private, like how someone might hide their weed stash from the public.

[WindAtMyBack]

He's being smart. Passwords are not something you should casually throw around, not even with your girlfriend. It's just a very good security practice.

I've had people give me their passwords, but I don't think I've ever in my life given anyone a password. I wouldn't be against giving someone my password if I had a reason to, but I would do the same as your boyfriend and change it first.

[admles]

The red flag here is YOUR response.

While he is silly to have one password for all sites, the fact that you think that his not giving this to you is bad is a massive red flag.

I have nothing to hide but my partner doesn't have my passwords, because she actually trusts me.

[bigmatt98]

Nah girl Netflix is one thing but to have the password for everything is a big difference it’s a red flag that it bothers you. A red flag toward you not him. I don’t mine sharing my Netflix but I’m not sharing my bank password! Though you should never use the same password for two different accounts.

[melanieeeB]

No, he did the reasonable thing. You don't have to know his private password. The bank literally tells you to not share with ayone! And they're right.

I also changed my password before sharing my account with my ex and my cousin and with that I learned to not use the same password for everything

[Bethany22]

The fact that you can only share Netflix with up to 4 people means he can't have THAT many other people that he's sharing it with, if that's what you're worried about. Also, isn't he going to be getting charged double now that you're on it? That's really nice of him.

[jshm2]

You're a strange choosing beggar for sure, and he should ditch your broke ass ASAP.

Not only for thinking saving 5 odd bucks a month is going to make an overall difference. But for your blasé attitude towards password security.

He's only your boyfriend, not your husband and he's missing your red flag for sure.

[tony_baloney]

Agreed

[Fireguy17]

if that is the password he normally uses for everything it was a smart move.
Why take chances on you getting hacked and they find it, it would be a second source where information could be gained.
Who knows how careful you are when and where you go online.
Now you have to be more diligent than ever.

[J2ohhhhh]

You are paranoid already, imagine, your paranoia escalates, maybe come to a website like this where other crazy ass paranoid women convince you that he's cheating on you, so you deserve to fuck him over. And you use this shit against him. Nah, he's just reasonably careful with you. You don't trust him, why should he trust you?

[vj0090]

But why you need to know his password? If he changed it it's not a big deal.. It's his choice.. He let you use his Netflix login I think that's generous of him... Honestly I got 4 login... All being used by my girlfriend as well in her device.. But if I have this password for my banking too.. I would have done the same thing.. Changing it prior giving to someone..

[Barry88]

If it's the password he uses for many other things including email and banking, he is damn right to change it. He is still entitled to his privacy and frankly, his emails and his bank accounts are none of anyone else's business.

[Anonymous]

LOL No you're the red flag. Seriously you are not entitled to any of those passwords. You should be on your knees thanking him that he is letting you have access to netflix. you're not married to him Even if you were, you're simply not entitled to access to everything. Period.

[Dinklex3]

No.

You feeling like you're entitled to his passwords is a red flag.

Respect his privacy.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. You being his girlfriend doesn't mean you're entitled to all his personal accounts. He still deserves his independence and privacy.

[VanguardTitan]

Considering that password is access to his email and banking, it's understandable. There's likely sensitive and private info there and he's just making sure that it's protected. It's not a statement that he doesn't trust you. He's essentially following good password security etiquette.